


And so we meet again

by hellokafkiana



Category: The Musketeers (2014)
Genre: F/M, no Crapos here, no Sylvie here, sex sex and again sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-15
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-08-08 22:32:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 48,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7776244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hellokafkiana/pseuds/hellokafkiana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Milady was “originally fundamental” to the third series - with episode one finding the character back in Paris, wealthy and with “everything she’s always wanted” “She’s got a house and she’s got servants,” Allen explained.<br/>"... and there was going to be a revolution in the city and she was going to be swept up in it.<br/>"She'd be seen as an emblem of everything that was wrong with the world. People are storming the house and she's saying, 'I'm one of you!' - and of course they don't believe her."</p>
<p>or the season 3 that never was</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The dowager Duchess

Anne knew that that moment was coming. 

She had known since she had found out that the Musketeers were back in town.  
Anne knew that sooner or later this moment would have arrived but she believed she would have been ready for it. She had imagined a thousands of possible scenarios and yet now that the moment had arrived she wasn’t ready, she hadn’t the right line, or the right dress, or the right…State of mind. 

She had wished that things had worked out differently, she had wished to be ready but she wasn’t and so when the English ambassador introduced her to his friend, the Captain of the Musketeers she found it difficult not to show how destabilizing was for her to meet him again, the Captain, Athos, her former lover, her estranged husband.

So she simply she stared at him, at the Captain. 

Athos was still… handsome. 

Possibly more handsome than he was the last time she had seen him, four years before.  
Anne tried to stop that thought but she couldn’t. He really looked… good.  
She needed to stop thinking about him in that way, so she reminded herself that, before the war, he had kissed her the cardinal’s secret cabinet and after that he had brought her in his chambers and he had slept with her, just to abandon her at the crossroads a couple of days later, without even saying goodbye and yet… she still found him… attractive and she knew she shouldn’t have had and she hated herself for that truth, for still liking him, for still desiring him, for still wanting him.

And they were meeting again.

“Duchess, may I present to you the Captain of the King’s Musketeers, Athos de la Fère”  
“Captain, she is the Mistress of the house, the dowager Duchess of Buckingham, Anne”

Athos kept looking at her, speechless, for some seconds.  
When the English ambassador had requested his presence at party of the Duchess he had accepted immediately, after all a party held by a rich dowager was the perfect place to find a huge amount of free alcohol.  
What he had not expected was that the dowager Duchess could have been… his wife. 

After some seconds of shock he finally spoke “Nice to meet you, Duchess. This is a lovely house, thank you for your hospitality” he whispered bowing softly and leaving a kiss on her hand.  
Anne did not expect such a…. diplomatic reaction and smiled nervously in return.  
“It’s a pleasure to have you both here, Ambassador, Captain”  
She was leaving when Athos unexpectedly grabbed her arm, whispering a simple request  
“Can I ask you to dance, Duchess?”  
He really wanted to… dance? Anne looked at her estranged husband for some further seconds, surprised, maybe even intrigued and hesitated for a moment before answering “Of course”

He took her hand and led her to the center of the room.  
They started moving, she let him lead and he pulled her closer without even realizing he was.  
Anne hated that moment. He was holding her waist, pulling her closer and holding her tight and his touch had still the power to make her…tremble, to make her dizzy. That touch, which was both familiar and comfortable, had still the power to confuse her.

After some seconds Athos finally found the courage to speak “You are really here” he said overwhelmed  
“So are you, Captain” Anne replied with a smirk, trying to mock him.  
He inspired deeply and after a moment he went on “You seem happy”  
“I am” she replied calmly.  
Athos tighten his grip on her hands and with a sad tone he continued “So you’re happy now, at last, you’ve everything you’ve ever wanted, Duchess. You’re wealthy, you have a beautiful house, a dozen of servants, you seem…satisfied”  
Anne made every possible effort not to laugh at him and with a mocking expression she answered “You seem too. Captain of the Musketeers, your life and body devoted to France, your honor and your status preserved, what could you possible want more?”  
He felt he needed to reply to that, he needed to explain everything to her, he needed to let her know how much she meant for him and so he talked “That’s a way of seeing it, but the truth is that…”

But he was interrupted.

“Milady!”

Anne turned recognizing Louis’s voice “Majesty, what a honor to have you here” she said bowing before him. In that moment the King turned towards Athos “Captain, how an unexpected pleasure to meet you here, can I borrow the Duchess for one dance?” he asked gently. 

Athos looked at him, he wanted to scream, he wanted to fight, he wanted to avoid that.  
Louis had no right of stealing his wife from him and yet Louis was the King and therefore he could do as it pleased him and Athos could not prevent this, so he too bowed slightly before saying “Of course, your Grace. Of course”

Athos watched the two of them dancing and laughing together and that image made him feel physically sick, the King was touching his wife’s hip with one hand and her back with the other.  
The two of them were lovers again, it was evident to everyone in that room, to him too. 

Athos wanted to leave that room, he wanted to leave them and forget everything about that scene and yet he couldn’t leave. Anne, his Anne, his beloved, beautiful Anne was there, well, alive, flesh and blood and mistress to the King once again.  
The idea of that man touching her body made him wanna scream and yet he was the King of France and he was forced to accept the situation, he had no choice.

Anne searched for her husband’s eyes for the rest of the evening without finding them. 

She asked herself why she was so surprised, after all before the war he had slept with her, feeling her heart with hope, just to abandon her at the crossroads a couple of days after, without even coming for saying goodbye and then, in the few seconds they had spent together that night he had showed no sign of regret or remorse for what he had done, he clearly wasn’t interested in her, so why should she have been in him? 

That night Louis asked her to leave the party, the party that was held in her own house, earlier and unexpectedly she agreed.  
They reached the upper rooms in a hurry and he soon started to undress her, passionate and urgent, not that she minded. The only thing she wanted at that point was to forget about Athos. Athos’s return, Athos’s face, Athos’s grip on her. She needed to forget that and getting laid from her lover seemed a good way of achieve that goal.

The King had been extremely passionate that night, not that this could bother Anne normally but that specific night it made her… angry. It made her angry because she could not fully concentrate on him and on that moment. She couldn’t concentrate on him because her mind was on…Athos. 

Louis was kissing her fiercely and she could only think about how that kisses were irrelevant in comparison to her husbands. The last time they kissed it had been…incredible and feeling his tongue insistent on her had made her feel dizzy and happy and a whole again. 

So now she was determined to feel the same with the King, and yet at the same time she knew it was impossible. Louis was passionate and was trying so hard to satisfy her, which she appreciated and at the same time he was really sweet, always gentle to her, always caring. She had no idea why the Queen was constantly rejecting him, she could definitively have been more unlucky. 

The King was a decent lover, he had this way of pleasuring her, of making her feel the center of his world, that was exactly what she wanted and needed it that moment.  
And yet, each thrust she felt more distant, more distracted, more absent and when she realized that she pulled him closer, hoping to feel something more and she did. She felt the lust, she felt the desire, she felt the sexual satisfaction and for that night that would have been enough. 

A few hours later the party was definitely over and Louis was asleep in her bed.  
Anne was laying next to him naked, her body still remembering the pleasure she had just felt thanks to her lover and yet against her better judgment she had thought about Athos the whole time, even when Louis was inside her screaming her name she was thinking about Athos and she hated him for still having such a power over her. 

After having spent a couple of minutes staring at the canopy and thinking about her estranged husband, she decided to put a nightgown on and left her room to find some water.

Some seconds after she was up and out of her room but she stopped when she noticed that something was wrong even if she couldn’t understand what, then she turned and found her husband’s eyes staring at her.

Anne’s voice trembled terrified “What are YOU doing here? How long have you…?”  
“Enough…Enough to hear your moaning, your loudly voice screaming HIS name” he replied, clearly nervous.  
And Anne saw it. She saw his tenseness, she saw his pain, she saw his anger, she saw his jealously and smirked satisfied “Does it really matter to you?”  
“Of course it does, you’re mine” he said pushing her to the wall  
“I’m NOT yours. Not anymore. You made your choice, you abandoned me at the crossroads and I moved on” she said with a anger he had never seen before.  
“I didn’t! I..” Athos said with the urge of explaining himself  
But Anne had no intention of listening to him, not anymore “I don’t care, that’s your problem, Athos”  
He wanted to explain himself, he really wanted but then the knowledge that Louis was sleeping in the next room and the memories of her voice screaming some-else’s name hit him suddenly  
“The way you were screaming, you…weren’t faking”  
“I wasn’t” Anne confirmed.  
She wasn’t. She had just admit that she wasn’t and…hearing those words was…devastating for him “Do you… really… like it?”  
“What?” Anne asked confuse  
“Laying with him”

Anne waited a second, hesitantly “I do…But it’s none of your business”  
“How can you say that?” he said desperate  
“You made it clear years ago”  
“No, Anne I…”  
“You wanna know the truth? The truth is that my late English husband left me with a yearly apanage that is worth a fortune and after his death I decided to come back home and once I was back in town I decided to revive my relationship with the King, not because I needed to but because I wanted it”  
She wanted it, she wanted him. Athos looked at her speechless, then finally with a broken angry voice he spoke again “So now what, you love him?”  
Anne laughed silently and nervously “Don’t be absurd! Of course not”  
“I don’t understand” Athos said serious  
And Anne smiled pleased “Obviously you don’t” after a pause she went on “He is a good man, a decent lover and the King of France. Love is irrelevant at this point”  
“Love is never irrelevant” he exclaimed putting his hands on her shoulders  
“Get your hands off of me, now!” she replied mad  
“No”  
“What do you want?”  
“You know what I want”  
“I thought I knew it but clearly I don’t”  
“I want you!”  
“You want me now because I’m not available, isn’t it? You didn’t want me when I wanted you, you had your chance and you wasted it”  
“That’s not how…”  
“Oh please spare me your excuses and lame explanations. Now, if you excuse me, I go back to your lord and King”

She tried to escape his grip, but she couldn’t.

“He can’t give you what you want, I know you, he will never give you what you really want, he…”  
“He gives me exactly what I want. He satisfies ME in ways YOU can’t even imagine”  
“Not like me” he said lifting up her gown and pulling unexpectedly a finger inside her “No one will ever satisfy you the way I do” he said inserting a further finger in her cunt and after a second he started moving his fingers penetrating her.  
Anne, unexpectedly, after some seconds of shock, open her legs more encouraging him to go on.  
She couldn’t believe what she was doing, she was risking her own status, wealth and happiness to screw a man that had left her years before, breaking her heart. 

He continued intensifying his thrusts looking at her in the eyes, Anne wanted to push him away, she wanted to scream and to hit him and yet she was staring at him, his pupils dilated, his expression full of desire and she liked that, she wanted that. Athos was tough and strong and was trying to lead, to dominate her. And she liked that, she liked that and she admitted the truth to herself for the first time in years, she had missed him. She had missed him, but at the same time she had no intention of ruining her life because of him once again, and yet against her better judgement she was letting him go on and closing her eyes, feeling the pleasure growing inside her body. 

That pleasure was completely different from the one she had just felt thanks to her lover.

Louis, the King, her lover, had become a familiar habit, a secure harbor, a regular satisfying routine.

Athos, the Comte, her husband, was a mixture of emotions, he was her past and he was anger and bitterness and regrets and rage and love, Athos had been her everything and now he was… the one that could still destabilize her.

Athos continued with his thrusts, which became always more frequent and more tough and Anne forced herself to stay silent even if she wanted to scream so badly.  
But she knew she couldn’t, not when the King was in the near room and his guards downstair.  
When she cum he looked at her satisfied and before leaving a chaste kiss on her lips he whispered to her “I’m still the best you’ve ever had”  
Anne didn’t deny that, but she warned him to leave “Leave now and pay attention to the guards, don’t let them see you. You won’t destroy my life again”  
“I’m back in town, we’ll meet again” he replied before disappearing


	2. His Anne

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His Anne, his beloved Anne, his gentle Anne. Anne. Anne…The Anne that he had sentenced to death, the Anne he had destroyed creating Milady de Winter, the Cardinal’s creature.

Athos saw his wife again only two weeks later. 

He was at the palace to meet Treville, but deep down he had hoped to see her again and when he finally noticed her he lost a beat. Anne was beautiful, walking in the gardens surrounded with a a dozen of ladies in waiting. The girls were laughing and playing with each other and she seemed so peaceful, happy and clearness again. He almost had the impulse to reach for her, to call for her, to grab her, to kiss her, to never let her go, never again… Anne’s smile was so hypnotic, everyone around was charmed by her and he couldn’t help but staring at her from distance. Hearing Anne’s laugh again was strange for Athos, he barely remembered how that sounded and yet hearing it again brought back so many memories, memories of when they were young and free and… in love. He couldn’t stop thinking about those days when he used to chased her into the fields, when they were so young and naive and madly in love. Back then he was a completely different person and she was a completely different person too, but the Anne he was seeing now reminded him so much of his young wife, his young beautiful, witty, spirited, peaceful wife. His Anne, his beloved Anne, his gentle Anne. Anne. Anne…The Anne that he had sentenced to death, the Anne he had destroyed creating Milady de Winter, the Cardinal’s creature. 

And yet somehow his Anne was right there, still alive, still beautiful, still with a charming smile on her face. Still…so herself despite everything. Some seconds after a male voice screamed at his wife “Milady!” 

Anne and her ladies turned in that voice’s direction, meeting the King and his guards’s faces, Athos turned in their direction too. He had to admit, Louis was quite charming too. Age had been kind to him, the older he got, the more handsome he became and acknowledging that made him furious.  
When first Anne became mistress to the King he knew that she was pretending the whole thing, he knew that she needed protection and Louis was the right person to provide that. Athos knew that and knowing that made him feel better about their relationship. But this time… this time Anne seemed really intrigued by the King and he was there, witnessing it. Anne liked him and it was evident to him, the way she smiled, the way she moved around him, how she kneeled before him, how she laughed at him and with him, a truth hit him suddenly, he had truly lost her. 

Anne was no longer his Anne, now she was the King’s Anne and she seemed so… happy to be so. The two lovers were walking side by side taking about something, winking at each other.   
They seemed such an happy, peaceful, charming, beautiful couple.   
The servants were following them from distance and if he didn’t know, he would have believed they were the royals couple with their court following them. She really seemed happy, satisfied, at peace and all of this without him. Without him. She wasn’t even seeing him, she was ignoring him, she did not care about him. Not anymore.

“You shouldn’t be here”

Athos turned suddenly, recognizing that voice almost immediately, he was his former boss, the current Minister of France, Jean de Treville. Athos kept staring at him without replying. He knew he shouldn’t have been there, he knew he shouldn’t have stayed there, staring at his wife and her lover, the King.

“She’s no longer your wife”  
“She will always be my wife” 

That reply was made without even reflecting upon it. Those words escaped his mouth angrily and sadly and…truly. Because that was the truth. Anne was his wife, she would always have been his wife, no matter how many lovers could have came in between them. 

Athos’s eyes were staring at Treville full of rage and regrets and desperation. Treville knew those eyes, he had seen them before, when a young, mysterious, broken, drunk boy jointed the Musketeers. He knew those eyes and feared them so he decided it was better to continue this conversation privately, away from indiscreet eyes. 

They walked side by side, silently, without even looking at each other and only once they both reached his office, the Minister talked again “Athos be smart, you are the Captain of the King’s Musketeers. You must be trustworthy, you can’t desire the King’s favorite!”  
Hearing those words was definitely too much for Athos, he got mad and before realizing that, he started yelling “She was my wife long before she even met the King!”  
After those words Treville grubbed Athos’s arm abruptly “For God’s sake, you can’t say these things Athos! Not even in private! She’s not your wife, she is the King’s favorite and you must always think about her as the King’s favorite and the King’s favorite only” He hesitated for a moment. Realizing that that speech didn’t have the wished effect, since Athos was still staring at him mad, so Treville tried a more gentle approach “Do you care for her at all?” he whispered softly.

Those words stopped Athos’s rage immediately, of course he cared about her, he never stopped caring about her, not even when he believed her dead, not even when she was trying to kill him.

“Anne…”  
Treville nodded, I got him, he thought relief, he will listen now “Yes, she’s Anne, but she’s not your Anne anymore and deep down you know that. She is not your Anne and she won’t be again, not until the King is alive and she is his mistress” He waited some seconds before continuing, he waited because he wanted to be sure that he had really understood the meaning of his words “You can’t say that she’s your wife and you can’t be the jealous husband here. You can’t, Athos… If you care for her… if you love her, you’ll leave her alone”  
That warning scared Athos “Do you really think the King would…punish her?”  
Treville breathed heavily “I…I don’t want to find out”  
Athos nodded in Treville’s direction, finally understanding that he was right after all “You’re right” he simply said, lowering his eyes. In that moment Treville nodded too, felling incredibly guilty for the whole situation, and he was right to feel so, after all it actually was all his fault “I know, Athos, but… it doesn’t mean that I don’t acknowledge my… role in this” The Minister hesitated for some further seconds before continuing “I shouldn’t have stopped you, I..”  
“I agree” the Captain replied visibly annoyed and angry   
“Athos… I’m sorry. You should have stopped her, you should have asked her to stay or run away with her, but not…”  
“I know” he whispered with a broken voice “I know. I will regret this until my dying day”  
“I will too, Athos, I can assure you that”

In that same moment Anne and the King were eating together, but Louis realized soon that there was something going on.  
“How are you feeling, sweetheart? Do you enjoy the meat?” he asked concerned.   
“Of course Majesty, I appreciate the food and more then that I appreciate your company”  
Anne said with her best smile, praying that they King would have believed her and as expected Louis smiled in return. 

Half an hour later Anne was still distracted and nervous and… distant. And Louis was getting really annoyed “Be honest with me, Milady. Is something else bothering you?”

Yes. Athos is bothering me, your Captain, my husband is bothering me. How is he? Where is he now? What is he doing? When will I see him again? Will I see him again at all? Do I want to see him again? Will I touch him again, will I…? All those questions haunted her but Anne just kept smiling to her lover, without showing it.

“No, of course not. I’m just tired that’s all”  
The King smiled nodding understanding “I will ask some guards to escort you home”  
“Thank you, Majesty” she replied smiling grateful.

Then the King saw someone behind her and called him “Captain!”

Anne closed her eyes, praying silently. He did not just say that, please not… but her thoughts were abruptly interrupted from a male voice she knew really well. 

“Majesty”

She closed her eyes for some seconds. She really knew that voice, that was the same voice she had longed to hear again for so long, the same voice that had the power to make her tremble every-time she heard it, the same voice she had dreamed for years, that voice, which was at the same time a bless and course. She knew that voice, she had been haunted from that voice all her life, that was Athos’s voice.

Slowly she turned her head meeting her husband’s eyes. Athos seemed so… uncomfortable, his eyes were so small, his voice full of repressed anger. For a moment she wondered if that anger was directed at her, to her and to her lover and thinking about that made her… smile, she still had a power over him, she still could make him lose his mind and she… liked that.

Athos came closer “Can I help you, your Grace?”  
Louis smiled “Yes, Captain. Could you accompany the dowager Duchess home? She’s tired”  
“As you wish” he replied bowing slightly. 

A few minutes later Anne and Athos were walking side by side, without saying a single thing to each other, behind them stood a young lady-in-waiting.

After a while Athos found the courage to speak “Who is she?”   
Anne smirked at him before answering “She’s Elizabeth Talbot, she comes from a very rich and wealthy English family”  
Athos nodded understanding “Talbot. The family of the Count of Shrewsbury”  
“Yes” Anne replied smiling. That conversation was so awkward and yet at the same time it sounded familiar, it reminded her of the time, when they were newly married, when…everything was… different, another life.  
Then he spoke again “And why is she following us?”  
“She lives with me and she ’s my pupil”  
“Excuse me?”  
“My pupil and my niece by marriage. When I decided to come back here I brought her with me. The French Court is a dream for a young English lady, you know…” she said with a smut expression  
Oh God, she is so beautiful, he thought, she really looks like…my Anne. He looked at her and the only thing he wanted to do was to grab her in his arms, to kiss her, to…But he couldn’t and he knew that so he just…continued the futile conversation they were having.  
“How old is she?”  
“18”  
“So…Lady Talbot is for what, exactly? Learn from you? Looking for an husband?”  
“I don’t see what business is the of yours” She replied irritated “But..she is to learn how to move, how to dance, how to talk, how to seduce… And in addition to that French food is far better than English food”  
Athos smiled, recalling their past conversation “And the weather?”   
“The weather too” she replied smiling. But after a moment she forced herself to change her expression in tougher one “We are arrived, Captain”

“I’m aware” he said looking away. Then he parted from her “May we meet again, Duchess”  
and he was already far, when she whispered softly her reply “May we meet again, Captain”

Some minutes later Anne noticed that Elizabeth was silently staring at her and that made her nervous “Why are you staring?” she asked agitated, almost annoyed and therefore her niece came closer, with a sly expression “Who was him?” she whispered.   
“Him?”  
“You know who, the Captain of the King’s Musketeers”  
“I don’t follow you, Bess”  
“Let’s not pretend he’s just the Captain of the King’s Musketeers, because clearly he’s not, so…who is him?” she insisted   
“He’s nothing more. He is nothing” Anne said angrily.  
“I know you aunt and I know when you’re lying and now, now you’re lying”  
“Don’t question me” Anne replied in a tough tone  
But Bess had no intention of letting that go “Who is he?”  
“No-one” she said exasperated   
Then Bess had an idea “Is he…Oliver?”

Oliver. She hadn’t heard that name in…years, it was so awkward to hear that again.

“What do you know about Oliver?”  
Bess smirked satisfied “Nothing particular, I heard you whispering his name from time to time“  
“Whispering his name? Me?”  
“Yes. You, while you were praying and a couple of times also while you were sleeping”  
Anne closed her eyes “Oh no I didn’t”  
“Oh yes, you did”

And deep down she knew Bess was right. During those four years of war, even if she was away in England, safe and sound and happy she… SHE had prayed for him, for his life, for his safeness, for… And she was also well aware that she had had… dreams about him, Anne cursed herself for being so… vulnerable, so… But her thought were abruptly interrupted by Bess’s curiosity.

“So is he your Oliver? And who is this Oliver anyway?”  
“You ask too much questions, you know that, don’t you?” She said irritated   
“I do… But who is this Oliver? Is he… a long time friend? Your… former lover? A one night stand…? I’m dying to know”  
Anne relaxed for the for the first time that day and started laughing “Oh no he was definitely not a one night stand”  
Bess couldn’t help but laugh in return “So…who is he?”

Who was him? That actually was a tough question, who was him to her? Anne couldn’t find the right answer so she just… spilled out the truth.

“My husband”  
“Who?” Bess exclaimed shocked.  
“My husband, my first husband, my…”   
But Bess didn’t let her finish “Your first husband, you mean…you mean the one…”  
“The one that tried to kill me and that abandoned me 4 years ago, yes, him” Anne finished for her.  
“He disgusts me”  
“He…he believed I had killed his brother in cold blood and…”  
“Don’t you dare to defend him, aunt! Just don’t!”   
“I’m not, what I’m saying is that I…”  
“No, no. Don’t! He’s a monster. He should have believed you, he should have given you a chance. You were HIS wife, he claimed he loved you, he should have given you a chance!”  
And he should have, Anne was aware of that “I know” she said bitterly.  
“He destroyed you aunt, he tried to kill your body when he sentenced you to death and your soul when he abandoned you at the crossroads”  
“Bess…”  
“I am right, you know I am”

And Anne couldn’t reply to that.


	3. One of you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING : VIOLENCE

Two days later Anne was in her house, half asleep, when she heard a strange noise.   
She woke up hearing some clearer, louder screams and thuds, then suddenly she also heard many confused voices screaming and in a moment she knew something was wrong.   
Then she reached her writing desk and took a knife and a pistole, Anne wasn’t entirely sure about what exactly was going on but what she knew was that something was definitely wrong. 

She moved slightly and checked outside but everything seemed calm, even too calm, so she decided to go and check outside of her room. She moved slowly, making attention. For a moment she worried about Bess but then she remembered that her pupil wasn't in that house at the moment. So, after having taken a big breath relieved, she kept walking slowly, cautiously and yet at the same time terrified. Then suddenly a servant, whose Anne recognized immediately as Isabel, the scullery maid, run in her direction, screaming terrified “Milady, Milady! Some angry peasants are attacking the estate, I…”  
Anne nodded, trying not to lose it “How many?”  
“I don’t know, 30, maybe more” the girl replied trembling.  
Anne looked around, seriously scared this time “And the others? Where are the other servants?”  
“I don’t know, escaped or…” dead. That’s what Isabel wanted to say but those words never came out of her mouth. Instead the young girl kept staring at her mistress with tears in her eyes, speaking eventually with a trembling voice “What do we do, Milady?” she said desperate.  
Anne thought about it for some seconds “We don’t have soldiers and we are too…vulnerable… We have to run, now!” 

She took the girls’s hand and lead her to a secret passage. The two fugitive run through the house, both out of breath and scared. In a couple of minutes they had reached the stable and for a single moment Anne had given herself the luxury to think that she was almost safe, that she could have left unharmed, so Anne rode her horse, helping Isabel to ride too and they run away. 

Or at least they tried to run away but after some meters they were reached by a dozen of angry peasants, Anne tried to defend herself killing half of them but then eventually they managed to scare her horse and both her and Isabel fell down.  
The men were angry and were screaming loudly and Anne had no idea how to escape that.   
In one second one of them was above her, blocking her with his whole body and tightening his pulses to immobilize her. “Oh, look at this beauty. So here we are at the presence of the famous Duchess, the King’s whore” 

Anne tried to move again without success and the man laughed “The whore is a fighter, now let’s teach her to shut up and endure” in that moment two other men blocked her arms and her legs and that man straddled above her, touching her breast demanding. He touched her eager, full of desire and in that moment Anne wanted to die. Eventually he reached her neck and took her choker off abruptly “And what do we have here? A scar, that’s not exactly something you can see everyday” he whispered before licking her neck. Anne trembled, terrified. The breath of that man on her disgusted her. She needed to find a way out and yet she didn’t know how to escape that situation, in that moment she was so… tired, she wanted to give up, she really wanted to die.   
Then that man spoke again “You think you can have all, don’t you, Duchess? I wonder how it would be… to have what the King has” he said touching her count.  
Anne was about to cry, she hasn’t felt like that in ages and she hated that but in a moment suddenly she knew she had to fight again, she couldn’t die like that, not after everything she had gone through, not after everything she had endured, not after everything she had survived. 

“I’m not what you think I am, I was born poor, like you. I was a thief and a pickpocket, I wasn’t born a Duchess, I’m one of you!” she begged with a trembling voice  
“I don’t believe a single word you say, whore” he said touching her thigh “And now, now you’ll taste my chock and you’ll tell who’s better between me and the fucking King of France” he said leaning on her.

Anne closed her eyes determined not to show any kind of emotion, she considered speaking again but then she realized that he wouldn’t have listened to a single word she would have said.  
She had no choice, she had to shut up and endure and pray to survive this. So she closed her eyes and waited for the inevitable. 

She waited but nothing happened, she heard some noises and gunshots, the grip of that man on her weakened and she opened her eyes. That man was still above her, but he was bleeding heavily. She pushed him away and looked around, trying to understand what had happened.   
Then she suddenly recognized her husband’s face “Athos” she whispered relieved.   
In a second he gave her his arm and helped her standing up. Anne was trembling still shocked by what had happened. Athos looked at her destabilized by her shocked expression “Anne…”   
He looked at her again, Anne, the fiercest woman he knew was staying there with a vacuous expression and empty eyes.

He had already seen those eyes once, he had already seen those eyes many years before.  
Then suddenly a bunch of memories hit him.

He’s dead! Your brother is dead, she did this, your wife, she murdered Thomas!  
He tried to force himself on me, I had no choice!  
Please, help me, help me  
Oliver please! You know me, you know this is the truth, I never wanted to…  
You have to help me get out of this. You have to believe me.   
Please! Please! Please!  
Was it all a lie? Did you ever love me?  
You know I did  
Make your peace with God, Anne, for you must die!  
I love you!  
Are you really doing this? I’m your wife. I still have my wedding ring on my third finger, I still…  
It’s my duty

And then he returned to reality, her scared eyes were still staring at him and in that moment he knew he couldn’t bear to see her like that again, not ever again and so he tried to calm her down, he tried to reassure her “It’s over, Anne, it’s over, they are dead. It’s over…I’ve got you” he breathed before touching her arm “I’ve got you” he said again and in that moment Anne suddenly came to her senses again “Isabel?” Athos looked at her without understanding “Who?”   
“Isabel, the girl…” and then Anne saw her. Isabel was bleeding unconscious and Aramis was next to her. Anne came closer “Isabel…? Is she…?” Aramis shook his head “No. Don’t worry, Milady. She’s alive. Now we’ll bring her to a doctor, she’ll recover” she nodded in return caressing the girl’s face “I’m so sorry Isabel, I’m so sorry…” she whispered with a trembling voice.

Then the other Musketeers brought her away but Anne remained there, incapable to move, with her ripped dress, with blood all over her body and Athos next to her. He offered her a cloak to cover and she almost didn't pay attention to it. There was so many corpses around her, she had almost been rape and Isabel was… 

“Anne?” “Anne?” “Anne?” eventually she turned in Athos’s direction, meeting his big eyes “Anne…You’re safe. Come with me. It’s over. It’s all over”  
In that moment she couldn’t resist anymore, she couldn’t stop her emotion anymore and overwhelmed she started to weep, falling down on her knee.  
“Anne… Anne…” 

But she didn’t move, she didn’t react, she didn’t change her expression.   
She didn’t even seem Anne, or Milady de Winter, or… she just seemed… an automaton, she didn’t even looked human in that moment.

“Come with me, let’s have a bath and a change of clothes” he whispered touching her arm.  
“Don’t you touch me!” she screamed, moving away from him, with a look of pure terror in her eyes. He nodded, worried for her reaction “Ok, I won’t, I’m sorry… Anne…Come with me” he repeated again, trying to reassure her. 

40 minutes later they were in the Captain’s lodging and he was preparing a bath for her.   
Once it was ready he came to her “Anne.. the bath is…”  
“Yes…thank you” she replied without even meeting his eyes.  
He nodded, thinking that she actually seemed better and yet he was unable to get out the room.  
“Anne…”  
“Get out, Athos!”  
“I just want to make it sure that you…”  
“I appreciate your concern, I do but now get out!” she screamed angrily “Please, please…”

She’s begging, she actually is begging, this can’t be good, he thought. The last he had heard her begging had been… after Thomas’s death. That truth hit, this…this whole situation had brought that ghost back once again.

So he did as she had asked and went out.   
Then he heard her chocked laments form outside, and hearing them broke his heart.   
He wanted to help her, he needed to help her and yet at the same time he had no idea how to do that.

Eventually a male voice called him.

“Captain!”  
He turned his head, meeting D’Artagnan’s eyes “Tell me”  
The boy seemed worried and anxious “We need you. The rebellion is still going on, we are not safe yet and…”  
“I can’t”   
“What do you mean?” he asked confused   
“You can do this, we have sedated the most of it, you can deal with the rest, I know you can, so do it”  
“But I’m not the Captain, you are” the gascon pointed out  
“You can do this, D’Artagan, I trust you with this. Now you’re in charge”  
“Are you sure?”  
“Yes, you can do this. I can’t, not now, not with her like this…” he whispered touching the door that was separating them, the door beyond which she was sobbing desperate.  
“It is your duty, Athos” D’Artagnan replied seriously.   
“My duty is to stay here”   
“I… just… I don’t want you to think that you own her, because you don’t, she’s…”  
“D’Artagnan don’t question me. Go. I need you to do this, I trust you to do this”  
After some seconds of hesitation he simply replied “Fine… And you?”  
“I’ll look after her”

A couple of hours later Anne was clean, with a new dress, calm and herself again, or sort of.   
And she could feel Athos’s eyes on her, his gaze on her, his sad, desperate, blue eyes on her. 

“Stop worrying Athos, I’m fine” she said annoyed   
“You don’t look fine”  
“I am… It’s just that I…I still feel his grip on my pulse, his tough on my neck, his hands on me…”  
Hearing those words was too much for him, suddenly his eyes were full of pain and rage.   
“If he wasn’t already dead, I would kill him right now for what he did to you” he whispered angrily  
“He did nothing to me, you arrived in time, I’ve no reason to react like…” Anne said without looking at him.  
“You can react however you want, Anne”

After some seconds of silence Anne spoke again “I still feel Thomas’s grip too, sometimes”   
She said those words without reflecting upon them and without guessing what Athos’s reaction might have been. She cursed herself immediately for actually saying that aloud, she shouldn’t have brought that ghost back, she knew she shouldn’t have but she couldn’t help it.  
But against all odds he reacted calmly, asking her a single, simple question “Was he… the first one? The first one that tried to force himself on you…?”  
Anne closed her eyes for a moment before answering “No” then she met his eyes “But he was the first one that didn’t succeed”

Athos sat next to her “I should have killed him myself”

Those words shocked her, she had never expect him to speak like that to her, to forget his duty and his honor for her, so she just waited for him to say more, more explanations, more details, more clarification.

“He… Thomas was … quick tempered and spoiled and…violent and…sneaky. He hated you from the first day, I should have done something, I…” Then he, again, surprised her “Tell me what happened”  
Anne looked at him shocked “Now, now you want to know about Thomas? Now are you willing to listen? It’s not to late for that?”  
Athos lowered his eyes embarrassed and kept silence, an incredibly thunderous silence.   
But Anne unexpectedly, against her better judgement, answered him “He… he tried to blackmail me into having sex with him and when I refused he…”  
“Anne…”  
“He attacked me…He said that forcing a prostitute’s daughter was not a crime, not for the son of a Comte anyway. He said… he said I would have tasted both Athos’s brothers and…” she made a short pause, trusting back some tears “He wanted to humiliate me, he wanted to destroy me and… I couldn’t let that happen and you know why? Because of you. Because you taught me to respect myself and I…stopped him”  
“Anne…I’m so sorry, I..I should have listened to your reasons and I should have never, never have sentenced you to death”

Anne looked at him shocked. He was finally admitting his guilt, she had been waiting to hear those words for years and yet now it didn’t seem…real. But it was, it really was and he was staring at her. He was staring at her with his beautiful blue eyes, those eyes that were blue intense, like forget-me-nots, those eyes she had loved so much, those eyes she knew so well, his eyes…

He’s trying, he’s apologizing, he’s exposing himself, he…You have to give him something too, she thought to herself, glancing at him, staring at him, at his blue, deep eyes. I have to give him something too she thought again, anything, anything. Then finally she managed to speak again.  
“And I should have told you. The truth, everything about my past but… I was…scared. I didn’t want to loose you, you were the one good thing in my life and I couldn’t loose you”   
“And yet you lost me anyway and I’ve lost you”  
“And it hurts like hell, doesn’t it?” she said faking a smile.

There was a moment of silence, where they both stared at each other, then something unexpected happened. Anne closed her eyes and leaned into him, her arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer, crushing her lips to his in a hard, needy, passionate, desperate kiss. She immediately deepened the kiss and he open his mount to let her in. Athos had not expected this at all and now he had no idea how to react to that, he was almost in a state of shock. His wife was kissing him. 

His Anne was kissing him, desperate, shocked, passionate. That kiss rushed him back to when they were just married, to those days when their only worries were taking care of each other, loving each other. Those days they spent in the fields playing and laughing and making love. 

Kissing her felt so, SO good, it felt real, it felt home.  
Then suddenly he understood that this was what he had been wanting all those years, the one thing he had always wanted, even when he thought she was dead. It was her, it was Anne, his Anne, his wife, it had always been her, all those years, it had always been her. Suddenly he felt guilty and desperate and angry and sad and so he responded to that kiss, kissing her again and again and again, gently and sweetly and tenderly, pulling her closer. It was overwhelming, familiar and yet at the same time new and odd, frustrating. 

Then suddenly Athos felt Anne’s trembling body against his and her tremor scared him, really, deeply, profoundly scared him. Anne’s vulnerability scared him. 

In a second he remember that he couldn’t do it, they couldn’t do it. It was neither the best time nor the best place. She’s not his Anne anymore, she's the King’s mistress, he can’t have her, he can’t love her, not even in secret, not even in his heart. She doesn’t belong to him anymore. That’s what he thought and deep down he knew that stopping this was the right thing to do. And then… she had just been attacked, she surely was not in the right state of mind to discuss… them, or to know what she wanted. 

He knew all those things so, even if reluctantly he separated from her, suddenly, abruptly, leaving her perplexed and wondering. 

She tried to kiss him again but he stopped her “No” he whispered softly “No”  
Anne cursed herself immediately, Athos had rejected her enough in the past, why had she believed that this time would have been different? Why had she allowed herself to think that things could have been different? Why had she seen Oliver in Athos’s eyes? Why? Why? How could she have been this stupid? Why?

Athos noticed her hurt expression but couldn’t say anything to calm her down, he couldn’t reassure her, they had to stay apart and yet seeing her hurt expression destroyed him.  
After some seconds he was about to hug her and console her when someone knocked at the door. 

They both stared at each other for some seconds, then he went to open it, finding the Captain of the Red Guards in front of him.  
“Captain”   
“Captain”  
“The King wants his favorite safe at the palace, we are here to escort her”  
Athos nodded “If this is the King’s order we’ll accompany her too. I won’t give in about this”  
“As you wish, Captain”

20 minutes later they had reached the Palace and Louis run into Anne hugging her tight.  
Athos looked at the two reunited lovers.   
A single thought crossed his mind “It should be me” “It should be me” “It should be me”


	4. True love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Me?” he asked perplexed  
> “You” “You” “You” and each time she said that her voice grown more angry, her eyes more furious

Five months passed. 

Five moths during which the dowager Duchess of Buckingham never left the Palace, becoming an integral and stable member of the Court. The Queen did not like that at all but Anne didn’t care. She knew she should have and yet she didn’t care. She was not a threat to the Queen’s position anyway, she never intended to be or to become one. She was barley present at any public occasion and when she was, she made sure to keep a low profile. 

On the contrary, in those five months Athos had made many efforts trying to be present at every possible public occasion. He knew he couldn’t talk to her but he needed to know, he needed to see that she was well and alive and… clearness again. He had even questioned some servants, discreetly, and he had found out that the first two months she had behaved oddly, spending a lot of time alone, reading or playing with her pupil, screaming in her sleep and turning with terrified gazes every-time she heard a noise and even her private encounters with the King had stopped. But it didn’t last too long. Gradually she had started to dance again, to sleep again, to laugh again, to live again, to meet the King again and … well Athos didn’t want to think about that specific part of his wife’s life.

That night there was a public ballet, hosted in honor of the new Portuguese ambassador.  
Athos, obviously was present, as his role of the Captain of the King’s Musketeers requested.  
As soon as he arrived he started looking for her. He tried not to but she couldn’t help.  
After some seconds he noticed her, Anne was sitting in the corner of the room, talking with one of her lady in waiting. She seemed so… serene, and clean, and beautiful and…

“You shouldn’t keep staring at her”  
Athos turned confused, meeting a girl’s eyes that were staring at him insistently “I.. I’m not…What are you talking about?”  
The girl smirked at him “I’m lady Elizabeth. Lady Elizabeth Talbot”  
Athos finally understood “Oh, yes, you’re right. I met you some months ago, I’m…”  
“I know who you are, Oliver”  
That name made him tremble, Oliver was not a name he wanted to hear, Oliver belonged to the past, Oliver belonged… to her…“I don’t use that name, Lady Elizabeth. I suggest you to…”  
“Of course, of course” she replied annoyed “But still…don’t look at her. Don’t. She deserves better than you”  
“I’m not…”  
“Bullshit. You are. At least you keep distant, I may concede you this and yet… you’re too close to her. Always checking on how she’s doing, always… worrying about her”  
“I am discreet” Athos replied convinced.  
“Not as much as you think you are” Elizabeth replied with a mockery tone.  
Athos stared at the girl, she really… cared for Anne, it was so strange to meet someone that was so…affectionate with her, that was fighting for her, that was worried about her.  
“I just want to make sure that she’s ok”  
“She is. Not thanks to you, but she is”

From distance, Anne noticed his niece talking with Athos and something of that view made her… uncomfortable and unable to listen to others people’s conversation or to think clearly. With an excuse she left her table to reach the two of them and once she did, she went beyond them but the gaze she gave them was even too evident. Bess stood there petrified and Athos followed her.  
Anne kept walking, with her husband behind her, and only after some minutes she opened a secret passage and entered a tunnel, Athos silently followed her. Before he could understand what was going on she was grabbing his arm and pushing him agains the wall.

“What do you think you’re doing?” she exclaimed, stopping him with her elbow.  
“Me?” he asked perplexed  
“You” “You” “You” and each time she said that her voice grown more angry, her eyes more furious  
“Yes, you. What do you think you’re doing? What do you want? You say you want me, you… show you want me, you save me, you kiss me, then you reject me and then you ask about me, you stare at me, you constantly observe me and then… I find you chatting with my niece” 

She seemed, she…was so mad at him, the tension between them was incredibly strong.  
Anne waited some seconds and then finally she leaned on his ear, whispering softly, with a dangerous, sexy, charming and yet threatening tone “So, what do you think you’re doing? With her? With… me?”

Some seconds later she moved away from his neck, and she put herself in front of him, freeing him from her grip. Her face was so close to him, so close that for a second he thought he could have kissed her. Athos breathed heavily, she was too close and that situation was too dangerous, the warm press of her body against his was driving him mad, her curly hair against his face made him tremble, her warm breath on him made him quiver. He tried to resist, he really tried to to calm down, he really tried to contain himself. He tried and he failed. Anne, his Anne was staring at him. It was really such a small space, so small that he could smell her perfume, so small that he could feel her heart beating. 

In a second his lips were on hers, strong, passionate, demanding.  
In a second she felt his strong hands on her cheek, pulling her closer, holding her to him.  
Anne resisted for some seconds. She knew this was a big mistake, she knew she was risking everything, her whole life, her status, her…her own heart. She knew it was a mistake and yet eventually she gave in and tried to deepen the kiss, desperately. She stopped fighting, letting him hug her, completely abandoned to the moment, her hands finding grip on his doublet and he took advantage of that, because suddenly he was turning them so that now he was the one who was pressing her against the wall.

Athos had crushed her against the wall so hard that it hurt her and yet Anne didn’t care.  
On the contrary, she liked it, she was glad of it, she…wanted it. His hands were so tight in her hair that it was painful, even their bodies were slamming together hard enough to bruise and Anne was aroused.

4 years. Almost 5 years of waiting, seemed now like an…eternity and those years had made him incredibly rough and…impatient and Anne… liked that, she liked that more than she could admit. She wanted the same, she knew she shouldn’t have, but she did.

Their lips kept moving against each other’s and without even realizing she was, Anne started to work the laces of his breeches free, and after that she unknotted his drawers. At the same time his hands were moving to tug her skirts up but she didn’t let him, he was not in control this time, she was.

They looked at each others for some seconds without saying a word. She saw his desire and he saw her pupils becoming always more dilated. She felt his erection hard and insistent against her and some seconds after she let him do what he wanted. Some seconds after he was lifting up her skirts and getting rid of her underwear. Once again they looked at each other, but it didn’t last. 

In a moment Anne’s legs were wrapped around her husband’s waist and he was pressing inside her, in a moment Anne arched her back closing her eyes. Then, suddenly, he started thrusting into her, pushing her to the wall and penetrating each time harder and Anne, unexpectedly, found herself wanting that so badly that she started meeting his motion, urging him for more, almost begging him silently, with the small thrusts of her hips.

Anne knew she couldn’t moan and Athos didn’t deserved that anyway …he didn’t deserve her, or to feel her… satisfaction or her… affection for him. But she couldn’t stop herself from feeling good, so good when he was sinking inside her, pushing her up against the wall, kissing her deeply or breathing hot against her neck.

She had forgotten how good it was to be with him, she definitely had, even though she had been living on the memories of their story for about than ten years by then.

Oliver - damn I can’t think of him as Oliver - she thought, Athos, just Athos. Athos… Athos was special, nobody else had ever made her feel like that, nobody else could understand her needs the way he did, nobody else was as gentle, as sweet, as caring, as passionate, as… but thankfully, this time there was no sign of tenderness, she thought with relief. This time she was drowning into sensations, feels, delight, this time it was not sweet, not at all. This time was…The fact was that she had tried to resist him, she really had, but surrendering to it, surrounding to him, it was much easier. It was a one-time thing, it was a goodbye, she promised to herself, even though deep down she was aware that this was a lie, but Oliver - Athos - was still familiar, even after all those years. They still knew each other, they were still…But Anne stopped that thought. 

What she couldn’t and did not want to stop was the pleasure she was feeling, so Anne grasped when she felt her climax building inside her and once again she tried to tell herself that she couldn’t scream, not if she cared about her…life. And he knew that too, ovbiously. As a result they both just gave soft groans and they tried to keep each other quiet, so they constantly kissed each other, suffocating any suspicious noise.

Anyway, when she cum, she couldn’t help but whispering his name, leaving small kisses on his neck. “Oliver” like a curse, and “Oliver” like a bless “Oliver”

Then as abruptly as it had started, it ended and she pushed him away.

“Why?” she whispered with closed eyes, fixing her cloths  
“What?” he replied genuinely confused  
“Why? Why I can’t let you go? Why I can’t just… move on? You broke my heart and… my soul and…”  
“Anne, please…”  
“No” she said leaving without giving him the chance to explain himself. Leaving him, there, alone. 

Athos waited some seconds before putting his breeches on again and following her, but once he was out of the tunnel he saw no sign of her. He searched for her for the rest of the evening without success. He needed to tell her, he needed to tell her that he loved her, he needed to tell her that he did came to crossroads, he needed to tell her that she meant everything to him, he needed to explain everything, he needed to… but he didn’t find her.

Anne walked around the castle for some minutes before managing to calm her down, she should have known this, she should have known that pushing her husband in a secret tunnel was no the smarted idea she had ever had, she should have known, she should have stopped him, but she couldn’t…she still… felt something for him despite everything that had happened between them. 

When Anne entered her room she found there an unexpected guest.

“Bess?”  
“Aunt”  
“What are you doing here?”  
“I’m sorry, I never wanted to… interfere in your private life, I just wanted to…” the girl whispered uncomfortable  
Anne smile, reassuring her “I know, I know”  
“You’re my family”  
“And you’re mine” Anne said before hugging her  
“I love you, I don’t want to see you hurt again, aunt, I don’t…”  
“Shhh…I know. I love you, too, darling, but I’m a grown up woman, you don’t have to worry about my… matrimonial’s drama”  
Bess nodded “You are the strongest woman I’ve ever known but when it comes to him… You are fragile. You change the tone of your voice, the light in your eyes, and…”  
Anne knew she was right “You don’t have to worry about me. I’m the one that worries about you, baby. Now go back to the party”  
“Are you sure?”  
“Of course! Go and have fun!”  
Before leaving the girl smiled and kissed Anne on her cheek. 

Some hours later Anne was resting on her bed, reading a book by candlelight, trying to forget everything about her… encounter with Athos, when her valet announced her that the King was there to see her.

Anne stood up suddenly and bowed before Louis.

“Oh Milady, I’m sorry to disturb you but I really needed to see a friendly face”  
“Oh Majesty you never disturb me, you know that” she replied with a charming tone and a small, beautiful, innocent smile on her face “Would you like to have some wine?” she asked gently.  
“You still are a saint, Milady” he said sitting on the edge of her bed, visibly exhausted.  
Anne brought some wine and smiled in his direction, sensing his his distress.  
“Everyone is against me, I feel surrounded by enemies in my own country, in my own Court. Sometimes I feel you’re the only friend I’ve left, Milady”  
“Don’t talk like this. You still have many allies on your side, Treville…”  
“Treville is not listening to me, not enough at least. He and the Musketeers are public defying my orders” Louis replied visibly annoyed.  
“Defying a King’s order is treason” Milady replied with a cold, glacial, angry tone. A tone he was so used to hear from her, Milady could always, constantly, surprise him “So what’s your suggestion? To execute them all? Not really practical I fear”  
“My suggestion is to remind them that you are their lord and King, remind them who are they working for, who are they serving” Milady replied sitting once again on her bed, staring at Louis with a beautiful smirk and her beautiful green eyes.  
The King laughed softly “You’re right, you’re always right, Milady” and her lover smiled in return “You look tired, Majesty, you should go to bed and rest now”  
“The only bed I’m interested in is the one you are in”  
Anne smiled at him gently hearing that “You’re lucky to be in my chambers, then”  
He lay down, closing his eyes, exhausted “What were you reading?”  
“Shakespeare”  
“Mmm… I’m almost jealous of him, you absolutely adore him” he said with a sleepy tone  
“You have no reason to be jealous of a dead poet, don’t be silly” Milady said almost amused  
“What was precisely anyway?” he asked curious  
“A Midsummer Night’s dream” she whispered softly  
“Oh I see…The course of true love never did run smooth” he quoted  
“Exactly”

Louis fall asleep hugging his beloved Milady and Anne finally managed to relax a little bit, before falling asleep herself.


	5. Painful

The next morning Anne woke up early, finding Louis next to her, still asleep with a serene smile and looking at him made her feel incredibly guilty.   
She was a cheater, the night before she had cheated on him, with her husband.   
Yes, well…Louis himself was married and they had never discussed… boundaries in their relationship, but stil… 

Actually there was nothing to discuss, she told herself, he was married, yes, but at the same time he was the King of France and he had absolute power over her and over everyone else.  
He was a kind man, but at the same time he was the sovereign King of France and she was quite sure that he wouldn't have appreciated knowing that her not-so-late husband had screwed her against the wall the night before. Her, Milady de Winter, his favorite, maybe his only friend at the moment, how could she have done something like this to HIM? To him that had always been so kind to her… Why had she done something like that? She had betrayed someone that had always been so gentle with her and she had cheated on him with someone that had constantly rejected her and and that had hurt her so deeply that…

She couldn’t bear to think about him anymore, in a second she stood up, dressed up quickly and left the room. It was inappropriate and she knew. Leaving the King alone and asleep in her room was definitely inappropriate and she knew that, but she needed to leave, she needed to escape that situation and she did. 

She walked around the gardens for a while, trying to calm her down but she couldn’t.  
She had slept with Athos. She… she had slept with Athos and she had liked it, she had…wanted it. She still wanted it, she still wanted…him. But she couldn’t want him and she knew that. Wanting him was wrong and wanting him had destroyed her before and could have destroyed her again, but she couldn’t help, because, despite everything he was… 

Then suddenly she saw a bunch of Musketeers walking through the gardens and she lost a beat, what if Athos…? But she couldn’t think clearly anymore, when she actually saw him.   
For a moment Anne wished it was a dream, she wished it so badly…but then he turned his head and their eyes met. It was Athos, it was real, he was there, Anne realized desperately.   
Then the time stopped and the two of them stood like that, frozen, staring at each other, for what it seemed an eternity, after which he simply whispered her something and she was almost sure it was her name “Anne” “Anne” “Anne” and then, in a moment, she knew she needed to escape, this time for real, this time without waiting for him, so without hesitating she left in hurry, this time without letting him the time, or the space, to follow her. She left in a hurry, running to her room, to her safe place, to her bed, to Louis.

Once she closed the door, she found the King, already dressed, his eyes scrutinizing her.   
“Milady? Are you all-right?” he asked her worried, but she didn’t reply so he simply kept staring at her, without understanding what was bothering her, without understanding why she seemed so upset and overwhelmed and desperate, all at the same time. He was staring at her speechless and in that moment, suddenly Anne knew what to do, “Are you all-right?” he asked again “Yes” she whispered before reaching him and his lips. In one second she was pushing him on the bed, kissing him with increasing passion, unlacing his pants and getting rid of his shirt, ripping it apart.   
He tried to stop her, worried from her abrupt hunger, but she couldn’t be stopped.  
“Milady? Have I done something to upset you? What…?”  
“No, I’m fine” she replied kissing him once again.

That’s what I want. That’s what I need. Hard, rough sex with my lover to forget about the hard, rough sex with my husband. It will work, it has to work and I should stop thinking abut him, I have to stop thinking about him now. That’s what Anne thought but what she didn’t knew was that outside that door, in that same moment, was standing the man she was trying so desperately to forget. He had followed her in a rush and now he was staying there, hearing to her moaning, trying desperately not to enter that room and stop everything.

In the meanwhile Anne was sitting on her lover, with her legs astride him, kissing him with increasing desire, but practically still completely dressed. In that moment Louis touched her hip, before moving to her breast, but she stopped him, leading his hand under her skirt, to her underwear, clearly inviting him to get rid of it before continuing and he obeyed to her silent order.   
Anne closed her eyes for a second and arched her back, then, suddenly, Louis was the one that was pushing her against the bed. Anne laughed surprised and wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him closer and reaching him with a further, deep, kiss. Her hands were on his cheek, pulling him closer and closer. 

Anne felt overwhelmed in that moment, that was exactly what she wanted, what she needed, she really was satisfied. But after a moment Louis took her hands and pushed them against the bed, taking the control of the situation and in that moment Anne groaned annoyed. That was not exactly what she wanted, that was supposed to be about her not about him, so she set herself free in a second pulling her hands on his neck, as he started kissing her ears and then he passed to her neck.

Her neck. That was too much, she would have not allowed it. Never again. No man could have such power over her, never again, she had promised to herself, so she turned them once again and lead Louis’s hands on her waist, but obviously the man couldn’t stay firm and moved her hands upper, reaching her breast. That made Anne angry, really, really angry. She was supposed to be the one in charge, the one leading, the one deciding, the one dominating, so she took his hands and pulled them on the bed once again, leaning on him.

Then, after some seconds, finally, he started thrusting into her and she smiled with a smut expression moving her hips to meet his thrusts, his rhythm increased each second more, and Anne thought that this felt good, so incredibly, unexpectedly good. 

That was what she wanted, they barely kissed, there was no cares, there was no affection, she was leaning on him with her eyes closed and that was exactly what she wanted. That wasn’t supposed to be tender, or sweet or caring, that was not about… feelings, that was not supposed to be about him, that was not about Louis, any other man would have been fine, that was about having an erection, that was about her, her satisfaction, her pleasure, that was about forgetting about… him. 

And then she moaned, loudly, satisfied and for a moment she was having exactly what she wanted, what she needed and Anne drowned in a ocean of dark pleasure, moving wildly, appreciating the power she was holding in that moment, but at the same time she was felt an hollowness in her heart and soul. The physical hunger was devouring but it wasn’t enough and yet somehow it felt so familiar, so beautiful, so exciting, that was exactly what she wanted, what she needed. 

What she didn’t know was that Athos was still there, outside of that room, torturing himself, listening to their moaning and he was suffering. Listening to them was hurting him, it was slowly killing him, it was destroying him. He wanted to leave, he wanted so badly to leave but he couldn’t move. He wanted to stop that but he couldn’t move. Not even the Comte de la Fere could have done something to prevent this, surely the Captain of the Musketeers couldn’t either, he could only stay there listening to his wife and his King moaning together in pleasure.

He closed his eyes for a second, staying there, listening to them, was hurting him and it was perverse and wrong and he knew that but he couldn’t move. It should have been him. It should have been him there, laying with her, sleeping with her, loving her. It had already been him, not long before. It had been him only some hours before actually, when Anne had pushed him against the wall of the tunnel and they had…He was not sure what was that about. For her, or for him, but it clearly hadn’t meant so much for her, since she was already screwing another just a few hours later and yes, he knew he was not just another man but the King of France, and yes he knew she couldn’t just walk away from him, but still… she didn’t seem to mind at all, he thought angry. 

He gives me exactly what I want. He satisfies ME in ways YOU can’t even imagine

That’s what she had said, that’s what…Thinking about it, being there listening to them…was the most painful experience of his life and it disgusted him. It made him physically sick. Thinking of his hand on his wife’s body, on her waist, on her breast, on her tight on… And her, her hands on him, the idea that she was unlacing some-else’s pants and touching some-else’s… the only idea made him wanna vomit, how had they reached that point? How had they finished there? How…?

Oh and she had laughed, really laughed, an happy laugh, that laugh that he thought she only had with him, for him, but clearly it wasn’t like that. Her laugh, the laugh of his beautiful Anne, of his wife, his love. Her laugh was his undoing, it brought him back to when they were newly married and careless and free and happy. Those days they spent together, running in the fields, making love to each other, with no worried about the world, enthusiastic about each other, hoping to create a family, those days… that laugh…  
But that laugh wasn't for him, not anymore, and now Anne was moaning, again, while having sex with another and he was there, listening to her and that…that was wrong on so many levels. 

And then suddenly he realized something. He shouldn’t have been here, he thought, not ever.   
He suddenly realized that Treville was right, she wasn’t his Anne anymore, she didn’t belong to him anymore and telling her the truth, telling her that he did come to the crossroads would have been… cruel. Cruel to her, cruel to him. They couldn’t have been together either way, she could have never left the King and he couldn’t have asked her to leave all her life behind because of him, that would have been wrong and unfair and… Anne deserved better, better than him.

It’s over, we are over, for real this time, he thought. Goodbye Anne, I’ll love you forever but sometimes you have to accept that some people stay in your heart, but not in your life, and then Athos walked away promising to himself that he would have kept distance, he would have left her alone, for good. 

Only when Athos was far away, Louis cum screaming her lover’s name “Anne” and again “Anne” and again “Anne” and then she felt a wave of strong pleasure assaulting her and she trembled when the orgasm overtook her too and she without realizing she was, she screamed a name. Unfortunately it wasn’t her lovers.

Anne collapses next to him, speechless and mortified. 

Oh no, no, no, no, no. I didn’t, I…

But then the King turned in her direction with a shocked expression and an annoyed voice 

“Who is Olivier?”

And in that moment Anne realized that it wasn’t a bad dream, this was all real and was definitely happening. How could something like this have happened to her? To HER? How had she allowed this? She was desperate and she soon realized she needed to find something, anything, anything to say but the right words just wouldn’t come. For a moment Anne thanked God that she had screamed Oliver and not Athos, this at least was a positive note, but still the situation was quite dangerous. Then she turned her head to meet the King’s gaze on her, the King, her lover, who was staring at her in disbelief after she had just called out the name of another man the moment she had reached the orgasm.

“Who is Oliver?” he repeated increasingly nervous “Who is this…?”  
“My husband”

Well at least that was the truth, she thought. But she needed to make up a believable lie as soon as possible and Louis was still staring at her, pretending an explanation. 

“What?” he exclaimed confused.  
“Olivier. Oliver was the name of my husband”  
“The Duke? The baron? I thought…”  
“Not those husbands” Anne replied with a trembling voice   
“Oh”   
“Yes” she whispered with a tears falling on her face  
“Can I ask you…why? Why were you…?”  
“I… lost him during this time of the year, many years ago and still during this time of the year, every year, I get…sad and confused and nostalgic and…”  
“I understand. Really, I do… It hurt you, losing him it hurt you, it was too soon and…”  
“Yes. I loved him and I lost him and losing him almost destroyed me”

Well that wasn’t a lie, not completely at least. She did lose him and it did hurt her and thinking about that really made her sad, confused and nostalgic, she thought.

“I’m so sorry Louis, so sorry. I just…” she said anxious but nervous   
“Don’t. I saw that something was bothering you lately, I’m happy that you’ve open up and I guess partly is my fault”  
“What do you mean?” she asked genuinely confused   
“I used your name, I know that you didn’t want to, I shouldn’t have used it but I did anyway”  
Anne nodded, felling extremely guilty, again, and so she leaned on him kissing him gently   
“Don’t say so. I’m so sorry, really, deeply sorry. It won’t happen again. I promise”  
“I…There is something you need to know. It won’t be easy to hear” he replied severe and in that moment Anne got scared “Tell me”


	6. Just wait

After the talk with the King Anne left the palace in a hurry. 

It was the first time in months that even considered the idea, the first time since… the aggression and she was terrified and trembling but she needed to have some time for herself, she needed to calm down and to clear her head and she knew she couldn’t have done it at the palace, so she decided to change her clothes, substituting her sophisticated Duchess’s dresses with a simple servant gown. Once she was completely dress, she took a moment to look at herself in the mirror. 

It was so strange, on one hand she almost didn’t recognize herself, on the other wearing that gown was unexpectedly comfortable. Then she closed her eyes for a second, wondering weather she was doing the right thing. After some seconds of hesitation she decided to hide a couple of knights in her boots and a pistol under the skirt, she felt she had to do that, she couldn’t bear to be attacked a further time…she couldn’t bear to…, she was Milady de Winter after all and she needed to feel safe so wearing some weapons seemed necessary to her.   
After that she walked mindless through the streets of Paris for hours and at some point she felt better, then she felt a voice, a familiar voice, a voice she hadn’t heard in years.

“Clarisse?”

Clarisse, she could barley remember the last time she had used that name.   
“No-one’s called me like that in ages” she whispered before turning in that voice’s direction meeting a face she used to know very well, in another life, someone she’d never expected to see again “Marie? Is that really you?” she asked surprised.   
The girl smiled at her and with a pleased smirk she simply said “It’s Elodie now”  
Anne smiled in return “Elodie…it suits you, I like it” and after that the two old friends hugged thigh. After some seconds Anne separated from Elodie “Let me buy you a drink, Elodie and so you’ll tell me what you’re doing in Paris”  
The other girl smiled for some seconds “As you wish…? How do I call you now?”  
“Milady will be fine” the other simply stated.   
“Milady? You still use the name Milady de Winter? Really?” Elodie asked surprised   
“It’s just a name, as good as any, Elodie” Milady replied annoyed  
“It’s not a name, it’s mask, but you can buy me a drink, Milady”  
“Good”

10 minutes later Milady and Elodie were in a small tavern, looking at each other 

“So, what do you want to drink, Elodie?” Milady asked abruptly   
“I’m afraid I can’t drink alcohol yet, so…I think I’ll drink some juice”  
“Juice” Milady said skeptical, waiting for some seconds before continuing “You, juice. Mind to explain?”  
Elodie laughed slightly before talking again “Me, yes. Well…I have a baby now, a newborn girl and I’m still breastfeeding her so I have to give up on the alcohol, for now at least”  
“Really?” Milady asked almost shocked.  
“Really. I’m an honest woman now, I have a daughter and a husband”  
Hearing those words made Anne laugh a little “Fine, you know what? I’ll make you company, let’s order soft drinks”  
“You don’t have to…”  
“No, it’s ok, just, please, please don’t tell me your husband is the father of your child, you can’t be so boring already”   
Elodie laughed in return, amused, with a guilty face before answering “No, he’s not actually” and then Elodie smirked in her friend’s direction “He couldn’t have been, when I met him I was already heavily pregnant”  
Milady smiled satisfied before speaking again “Now I recognize you! You bad girl! What’s his name? What’s your husband’s name?”  
“Porthos”  
Porthos. Anne closed her eyes recognizing that name “Wait, you mean Porthos, Porthos the Musketeer?”  
“Yes, do you know him?” Elodie asked surprised  
“Not really good” Milady said grabbing the glass before her, while Elodie kept looking at her in the eyes “Stop staring like that, I haven’t slept with him I swear!” she exclaimed   
“So, how do you know him?”  
“I was the Cardinal’s spy, remember? He and his friends were… my enemies, I guess?”  
“Oh right, of course I remember, Sarazin was furious when you left him for the Cardinal”  
“You left him too, I guess” Milady said calmly, with a emotionless expression on her face. She hated to think about him, she hated to remember that time of her life.  
“I did, thank God” Elodie replied  
“Thank God indeed… and now you are married to Porthos… wow, I’d have never guessed he was your type” Milady said honestly   
“He’s a good man, I’m happy with him” Elodie said smiling “Really happy, for the first time in years I… feel hope”  
“I’m glad to hear that” Anne said before lowering her eyes “Does he know about…your past?” she said with a bitter tone   
“He knows enough” her friend replied annoyed   
Anne looked at her before speaking again “You should tell him everything” she warned him.  
Elodie smirked annoyed “He knows enough, I don’t want to talk about Sarazin, of what he did to us, of what…he made us…”   
“I know, I’m sorry”  
Elodie nodded understanding “It’s ok, but let’s not talk about it. Let’s talk about you. What are you doing here?”  
“Have you heard about the dowager Duchess of Buckingham?” Anne said fierce  
Elodie nodded “Yes, do you work for her?  
“I am her” Anne replied smiling softly   
Elodie looked at her in disbelief “You? You’re the King’s mistress?” she exclaimed surprised   
“I am” Anne whispered looking in another direction and Elodie looked at her not fully convinced “Are kidding me?” she asked   
And Anne shook her head “Nope, I’m undercover now but normally I live at the palace”  
“Wow, that’s huge” Elodie said genuinely impressed, then after some seconds she realized something “So… if you are the King’s mistress, you are the Captain’s wife, too”   
The Captain’s wife. Hearing that made Anne froze “The Captain’s?” she asked hesitantly   
“Athos” and Anne simply nodded in her direction, hoping that Elodie would have dropped the subject, but she didn’t, in fact she did quite the opposite “Wait… if Athos is your husband this means that Athos… Athos is Oliver, isn’t he?” Elodie said hesitantly hoping to get an answer from her friend, but Anne stayed there silently, almost in a state of shock, and she realized her silence was an eloquent answer, so spoke again, shocked “It is true, Athos is Oliver. Oliver, your Oliver, the husband you hated, the husband that had taken everything from you…is Athos of the King’s Musketeers…”

And eventually Anne spoke again “Yes” she whispered softly and Elodie looked at her speechless   
“I can’t believe it! How did I not guess that?”  
“I never told you much about Oliver, it’s not your fault” Milady whispered avoid her friend’s gaze  
“Yes, the only thing I was sure about was that you loved him still” Elodie whispered lost in thoughts of their past but hearing those things was too much for her friend “I never said that” Anne exclaimed annoyed.   
“I know, I know… You constantly said you wanted him dead, that’s how I knew, only someone you loved still could have made you suffer like that” Elodie whispered sadly, then she reached for Milady’s pulse, holding her hand tight “How are you now?” she asked worried   
“I’m… happy” Milady replied looking away, avoiding her friend’s face   
“Mmm… why I don’t believe you?” but Anne didn’t answered to that, she simply avoided her eyes  
Elodie stayed silent for a while but eventually she found the courage to speak again  
“Clarisse…Milady… I know it’s not my business and I don’t know much about your relationship with Oliver anyway but… I think you should talk to him”  
“Talk to him… What do you mean?” she asked hesitantly, looking at the other girl speechless 

Elodie waited for some seconds before continuing, then eventually she said something that shocked Anne “You don’t know everything”

In that moment Anne looked at her overwhelmed, without fully understanding what she meant “What do you mean? What…? You… you know something, do you…?”  
“I do, but it’s not my place to tell you” Elodie said nodding   
And Anne closed her eyes before whispering “I don’t care”   
“You do” Elodie insisted   
“I don’t. I don’t care about him” Anne replied angrily   
“Ask him about the crossroads anyway” Elodie said calmly   
The crossroads, Anne lost a beat, the crossroads… “The crossroads? What do you know about the crossroads?” she asked abruptly and Elodie just looked in her direction saying “I can’t tell you, it’s not my place but ask him. Just ask him, you deserve to know the whole truth”

Anne spent the three following day obsessing herself about those words “You deserve the whole truth” “Ask him about the crossroads”  
She soon realized she needed to have a talk with Athos, she needed to… to know what Ma..what Elodie meant and then she needed to discuss what happened in the tunnels, she needed to tell him that something like this would have never happened again. No more kisses, no more smiling, no more sexy gazes, no more skittish eyes, not now that…She needed to talk to him one last time, she needed to say goodbye.

So she sneaked out of the palace to reach Athos’s Office to have a final conversation with him.   
To end things, definitely. He was still the man that had constantly rejected her, a man she couldn’t trust, a man she couldn’t let in again and she knew that and yet he still was… Athos.

She reached the Garrison, wearing a cloak that was hiding her face, and she as soon as she found the Captain’s office she sneaked in, hoping to find him as soon as possible, knowing that she really needed to end this chapter of her life.

She entered his Office but no-one was in there, so Anne sat down. For a second. She wanted to stay there calm and seraphic but she couldn’t help her curiosity, so she started looking around, she knew she shouldn’t have had and yet… He was still her husband and she felt she had any right of looking around if she wanted to, she she did. 

And then, among some documents she found something she had never expected to find, a light blue glove, the glove, her glove, the glove she had dropped at the crossroads, the glove that she had left there, as a token for him, to haunt him, to torture him. Until we are both dead. That was what she had said one time, many years before. But he never made it to the crossroads, he never…they never… 

Suddenly Anne felt the urgency to sit down, feeling overwhelmed. 

He did come to the crossroads, he… did come for her, he… wanted to… he… in that moment Anne heard some noises and she turned, meeting Athos’s eyes. He seemed so shocked, probably as much as she was.  
He did not expect to see her, not there, not in his Office, not like this, so beautiful, so… overwhelmed, so…happy, with such an hypnotic smile. 

“You did come to crossroads” she whispered with a trembling voice   
“I did” Athos replied avoiding her gaze almost in a state of shock   
“You were late, but you were there”  
“I was”  
“You were late”  
“You didn’t wait, you left too early”  
“I did” she said with a voice full of pain and regrets closing her eyes  
And in that moment Athos’s voice changed abruptly, becoming more loud, more angry   
“Why? Tell me why. Why haven’t you waited for me?”  
“Athos…”  
“Why haven’t you waited a little longer? You thought I wouldn’t have come? After everything that had happened you though…?”  
Anne closed her eyes, remembering exactly how she had felt 4 years before when she had thought he had abandoned her at the crossroads “I…I was scared”   
“Scared. What do you mean scared? Scared of what? Of… me?” Athos asked, this time hesitantly   
Anne nodded “Yes. Of you and of me, of us, of what we were, of what… we could have been, of what we would have never been again, I… I lost a beat whenever I heard a horse and…it was never you. I couldn’t stand it any longer, I couldn’t…bare it any longer, I thought you would have never come, I thought you had abandoned me and so… I left”  
“I would have never abandoned you, Anne”  
He came closer holding her arms hesitantly, she resisted for some seconds before melting and hugging him tight.  
“I’ve missed you” she whispered with a trembling voice  
“I’ve missed you too”  
She put her hands on his cheeks, their noses were touching and their eyes fixed on each other “Tell me, tell me now. Tell me…Everything you wanted to tell me then”  
“Anne…”  
“Tell me”  
He separated from her abruptly “I can’t do this”  
“Yes, you coward, you can” “And now you will”  
Then she pushed him on his chair, sitting on him “Tell me. Tell me. I deserve it, Oliver, you know I do”

Oliver. Oliver, that name was so painful to hear and yet so beautiful. Oliver.

“I wanted…I wanted to ask you to wait for me”   
“Wait for you, of course” “You and your stupid honor, you would have never come with me”  
“I had been named Captain, it was my duty to be with them, to stay with them, to fight with me”  
“Your duty…What about your duty towards me? Your wife?”  
“Anne…”  
“You promised! You promise to be true to me in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. You promised to love me and honor me all the days of your life! You promised, you swore, Athos! You swore that nothing would ever come between us”  
“I know”  
“It was your duty to believe me! It was your duty to give me a chance!”  
“Anne…”  
“I know you, I know you always chose honor above me, I… just assumed that…since you came at the crossroads I thought…I believed…. you…”  
“I…? I cared about you, deeply? It was true, it is true still”  
“Still?”  
“You don’t know it by now?”  
“I don’t” “So what did you want to say to me? At the crossroads? What? You wanted to ask me to wait… How long? And for what, exactly? What does it mean wait for you?”

“It meant…I wanted you to wait for me, wait in England or wait in Paris, either way…Just wait for me, I wanted to tell you that what happened while we were hiding from Rochefort and what had happened after that, us…it was…important, I wanted to tell you that you were important, that…you meant everything. Because you’re everything to me, you’ve always been”  
“I wasn’t your everything, I was your crystal”  
“You were both, you were my entire world”  
“Did you ever love me?”  
“You know I did”  
“No, I mean…me, I mean the other me, Milady de Winter… not just… Anne…”  
“You know I did” “You know I do”

He does, He does now. 

Anne closed her eyes for one second, relaxing a little bit.   
“Why didn’t you find a chance to tell me this in the last 6 months?” she whispered softly.  
“I…I tried at first, I tried but then… Then… I thought it was better to leave you alone, I thought you would have risked so much and I… didn’t deserve to… I didn’t deserve you” “I don’t deserve you”  
Anne nodded with tears in her eyes and then unexpectedly she leaned on him but she stopped just a second before reaching his lips “Wait. Wait for me, just wait” and saying so she stood up and reached the door.


	7. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the last chapter 
> 
> “Wait. Wait for me, just wait” and saying so she stood up and reached the door.

Once she did that, Anne simply stayed there, paralyzed and in a state of shock for what it seemed an eternity. She couldn’t breath or think, she felt overwhelmed and insecure and scared, there was not coming back from this and she knew it but she didn’t care, so she simply locked the door and then, with an exasperating slowness, she turned in her husband’s direction, meeting his eyes. 

In a second Anne smirked, looking satisfied at his smut expression.  
He wanted her, he wanted her so much and she could see it clearly in that moment.   
In a second there they both moved, reaching each other half way, a moment later their lips melted and Anne found it difficult to stand right. 

They kissed tenderly for a while, hugging each other, holding each other close, felling, really feeling each other again for the first time in years, taking all the time they needed. 

In that perfect, beautiful moment they were just happy, content, at peace. 

He only let go of her lips to dip his head to her neck and the feeling of him on her neck made Anne tremble slightly and he felt that. In that moment he suddenly realized that he needed to say something, anything, to reassure her about it but the right words wouldn’t come, then after some hesitation, eventually, he managed to say something 

“You don’t need this” he whispered referring to her choker “There is nothing to hide, Anne”  
“I never take that off, not…”   
“Not for anyone, I know, but I’m not anyone. I’m someone, I’m your husband who’s incredibly sorry for all that pain that he has caused you” he hesitated before continuing “You shouldn’t be ashamed, Anne”  
“I hate it, it’s ugly and…”  
“and I love you, don’t feel you need to hide it from me, you don’t have to hide anything from me. Never again, not your past, not your history, not your crimes… I want you to feel safe with me, I want you to… trust me, try Anne, try, please just try, give us a shot, give us a chance…we are worthy, aren’t we?”  
“You…you said…” Anne tremble slightly, again “You…” she closed her eyes trying to calm down but she couldn’t. Then, eventually, she gave him what he wanted “Fine” she whispered taking it off. 

In a moment he was kissing her neck, with a silent and yet loud apology.  
“I can’t believe it’s really happening” she whispered moaning   
“I can”  
“How presumptuous, Athos. Is that why you have a bed in your own Office?”   
“No, no, I…”  
“You know what? I don’t care” she said leaning on him, kissing him tenderly once again.

They were both thinking the same thing. That was different, that time was different, that time it was… gentle. Neither of them was trying to take the control of their kisses, they weren’t trying to hurt each other, they weren’t trying to show something, they were just…the two of them, together again, appreciating the moment. 

She kissed him one time, then an other and another and eventually she started laughing.   
It was so odd to touch him again, not that she hadn’t recently, but it was just different, that time she wasn’t upset or angry or desperate, that time mattered, that time she wanted it, that time she wasn’t upset or shocked or overwhelmed, that time she was smiling.

Then she separated from him, turning “Unlace my corset, Oliver, show your wife you can still do this” and unexpectedly he obeyed without replying.

Anne smiled genuinely happy and kissed him again “Com’on, husband, take this off”  
He smirked at her amused, finding her impatience incredibly funny “What exactly, wife? What do you want me to take off?” she whispered faking ingenuity.

He was playing with her and Anne, unexpectedly, liked that .

“Everything” she replied 

But he remained there, without moving “What? Do you expect me to beg?” she said exasperated   
“Yes” he whispered simply, smiling at her  
And Anne smirked amused “This is a game for you”  
“It is a game of want and wanting” he whispered touching her back   
“I see” she acknowledged nodding, then after some seconds she continued “You know what’s the problem here? I’ve never liked playing fair, Athos” She said taking his hand and leading it to her breast “Are you seriously saying, that you would give up on this?” He lost a beat and she noticed that, so she continued with a smut expression “Or on this?” she whispered leading his hand under her skirt and when Athos heard how wet she was he couldn’t pretend anymore “Fine Anne, you won, as always”  
“As always” she repeated satisfied and in that moment he smiled at her “You’ve already seen where the bed is, wait there for me and undress completely Anne, everything” he whispered touching her chin. 

And that time it was she who obeyed. In a second they both had tossed their clothes away and he had come closer to her. She took her time to watch him, to watch his body, finally revealed from under so many layers of leather and clothes. 

Anne smiled, yes he had some new scars and muscles but he still looked so… him, in that moment, at least, in the moment when the both of them were exposed, when the both of them were naked, trembling and whining, he really looked her young husband. That was awkward, Anne thought, it reminded her of their wedding night, when they were both so young and clumsy and yet at the same time cute, happy, excited.

He moved above her, kissing every inch of her body, quivering each time. Anne decided to start caressing his head, taking him close, playing with his hair, secretly smiling for all that hesitation he was showing.

“Oliver… hey” she said pulling him closer, pressing their foreheads together, with one hand tasting his abdomen, demanding and the other tangling in his hair “Oliver, it’s me, just me, just Anne”   
“I’m stupid, it’s not like we never…”  
“No, no, it’s ok. It’s me” she said pulling a hand on his shoulder and starting caressing him.   
Feeling his body on her was a beautiful feeling, she felt overwhelmed and silly and happy and she wanted him to feel the same “Oliver, it’s us, you and me. You’re home”

This is not about sex, this is about intimacy, this is about caring, this is about… feelings, this is about love, she thought and she was glad they were having this, at last. It’s great, she thought, being with him like this again is incredible. He is so gentle this time, I could hardly remember that he could be gentle at all, Anne thought smiling, while her husband was kissing her shoulder.

“You’re driving me insane” she whispered “Please, Athos, please, please…”

Eventually, when she had just started to lose patient, he finally managed to move into her.  
They had started so silently, trembling and moaning softly and just when he finally started thrusting into her, they both lost control, both of them lost their breath, groaning into each other’s lips as they sped up. 

It just was so award and yet perfect and familiar.

Anne’s hands gripped into Athos’s shoulders, gripping tighter, holding him closer and Athos grinned, he was definitely the best she had ever had, he could see in her eyes. He could see her secretly praying to have her, right there, in that exact moment, to fuck her, to bury himself deep inside her. So he augmented his rhythm, thrusting into her faster and harder and Anne moaned satisfied, arching her back, digging in her fingers into him, her nails scratching his skins, but Athos didn’t seem to care in that moment, so she moved her nails around his back, finding her final grip on his shoulder and then on his neck, pulling him closer for a further kiss.  
Their lips melting together, their tongues entwining, their teeth nibbling down on each other caused them both to tremble and Anne moaned louder than before. 

It’s him, it’s him, it’s always be him, all those years, all those men she had had…It’s always been him and she knew that now. For such a long time she had been searching for him, hoping to see his face in every man she had been with, hoping to meet his eyes in every man she had kissed, looking for him in every man she had killed, too, for what was worthy. It had always been him, always him, him, him, him. 

And now she had him back again, really, him, again. She had his body, she had his trust, she had his love and that was exactly what she had hoped and want for so long and now she was determined to never let him go again.

She closed her eyes, feeling the climax building inside her. This was so different from the last time and yet so beautiful, so comfortable, so familiar. It really was home and she cried silently, full of joy and hope.

After they both had reached the orgasm he collapsed next to her and Anne turned, avoiding his face, with no intention of letting him see that she was crying. That was sentimental and…stupid and she hated herself for that weakness. A bunch of seconds later Athos started to caress her back, studying her body again, admiring each scar, his fingers tracing around her.

“This is new” he said noticing a strange scar “How did you get it?”   
She turned abruptly, meeting his eyes. She looked at him for some seconds, and Athos noticed pain in her eyes, then, eventually, she whispered softly “Can we talk about something else, please?”  
Noticing her awkwardness he dropped the subject looking at her with a smut expression, before replying “We don’t have to talk at all, you know…”  
In that moment Anne laughed loudly before reaching for his lips “Always presumptuous you are” and then she kissed him passionately, pushing him against the bed, pulling herself above him, holding his hands.

3 hour later both Anne and Athos were dressing again, since Anne, even if reluctantly, had managed to convince him that they both needed to return where they were needed before anyone could notice their absence. 

“Oliver, help me with this laces” she whispered, while handling with her corset   
“Anne…” he whispered hesitantly, standing behind her   
“You came at the crossroads, I still can’t believe that you came” she said smiling softly   
“Anne…” he continued   
“What?” she turned meeting his eyes   
“Marry me” he said holding her hands   
“What?” she asked shocked   
“Marry me again, right now. Let’s envelope together” he said looking at her full of hope   
“What…?”  
“We can’t be together now, not with you living at Court as the King’s…what I mean is that we both risk to be charge with high treason if we get caught, so… let’s leave”  
“Leave?” she repeated with a trembling voice   
“Yes, let’s leave everything behind, you can choose the country, Spain, England, Portugal, Netherlands. I don’t care, as long as I’ll have you”  
“I…”  
“I understand that you might be worried about money, but I have some savings and you can sell some of your lands, I don’t know yet, but we’ll figure it out, we…”  
“Oh Oliver” she whispered freeing herself from his grip to start caressing his face  
“Just say yes. Marry me again, built a life with me again, just say yes”

“Oliver, listen to me carefully now. I love you, always have, always will”  
“I love you too”  
“Listen, please. I can’t say yes, I can’t leave with you, I…”  
“What? Anne… I know you like Paris but we can’t be together here”  
“I know” she whispered holding tears back “I’m sorry”

Athos looked at her finally understanding and in that moment he felt betrayed “You… you said you loved me”  
“I do” Anne replied caressing his shoulder but in a moment, unexpectedly he stopped her and his eyes changed. Anne knew him and knew that expression. He was mad, really, deeply, incredibly mad, and then he he calmly spoke with a voice full of rage “No, you don’t. You never did, it’s so clear now”  
“No, no what are you saying? Oli…”  
“Don’t you dare to use that name again!” he screamed   
“I…”  
“My wife was the only person that was allowed to call me like that, but clearly you’re not her because my wife, my beloved Anne, never existed in the first place”  
“Oli..”  
“Stop it! I don’t even know who you are, I never did”  
“No, no. I love you, you’re maybe the only person who truly knows me, please”  
“How could you say this? You never even told me your real name”  
“That does not mean…”  
“But it does”  
“No, stop this, please”  
“I was a target, wasn’t I?” He said bitterly and she didn’t reply to that, looking away “You don’t even try to deny that” he whispered some seconds after, disappointed and hurt.   
“This doesn’t mean that I didn’t fall for you after, this does not mean that…” she tried but he didn’t let her finish “You clearly were interested in my money and my status only, and that’s exactly why you can’t leave with me now, because you can’t give up on fancy party and jewelry”  
“No, no! It’s not that simple! You have to understand that…”  
“No! I don’t want to listen to your poor excuses and lame explanation! I’ve already wasted too much time listening to your lies”  
“Athos…”  
“So, I can’t give you money and status anymore, what do you want from me?”  
“Athos…” she repeated sad and hurt  
“I want to know. What am I to you? Surely not a husband, not even an enemy anymore, so what am I? Tell me! I need to know!” he screaming find a grip on her pulses   
“You are the love of my life!” she screamed honestly, hoping that he would have seen her despair.   
But he didn’t and he separated from her with a disgusted gaze “No, I’m not, I’m a good shag, I’m… your own male prostitute”  
“How could you say this?” she whispered sadly and hurt.   
“I can because it is true! That’s what I am, an hot quick fuck, just to satisfy you before you have the real stuff with your official lover”  
“Athos, no…”  
“Oh I don’t know why I expected more from YOU” he whispered mad and then he decided to hurt her like she had just hurt him “Once a slut, always a slut isn’t it?”  
Anne stayed silent for a moment, digesting that accusation, then she looked at him with the glacial eyes of Milady de Winter “As you said, the only slut here is you, right? But if you’re my personal male prostitute I should pay you, don’t you think?” she said calmly “Take this!” she exclaimed giving him her necklace “This was a gift form his Majesty the King, it should repay you, Athos” 

He had just hurt her and now she was hurting him, she wanted to hurt him, deeply, she wanted to make him feel all her desperation and pain she was feeling but after a moment she regretted that.   
She had been too cruel, too direct, too hash, too…

“Athos, I…”  
“Get out!” he said mad  
“Athos…” she tried again   
“Fine, I get out!” he screamed 

Anne found herself alone once again and she felt on the floor crying silently, wondering how it was possible that they had destroyed everything once again.


	8. Still

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From the previous chapter 
> 
> Anne found herself alone once again and she felt on the floor crying silently, wondering how it was possible that they had destroyed everything once again.

Some time later she found the strength to leave that place and return to the Palace.  
Once she entered in her private chambers, she found Bess there, her niece was reading a passage from the Odysseus to a bunch of young ladies, but when she met her aunt’s eyes, she soon realized that something was wrong and dismissed the whole group.

“What’s happened?” she asked worried coming closer to Anne, but the other woman didn’t reply, she just stood there avoiding her niece’s gaze so Bess talked once again, asking the same thing, this time with a softer voice “What’s happened?”  
“Nothing” Anne replied with a slightly tremor in her voice, still avoiding Bess’s look and this made her niece even more anxious, so she insisted once again “What’s happened?” and saying so she eventually reached Anne and the two of them hugged and Anne felt devastated, now she was really breaking down, shaking and almost crying.

“Ssshhh… It can’t be that bad” Bess said worried   
“You’re right, it’s not” Anne said breathing heavily “It’s just..over, done, finished”  
“Is this about Oliver?” Bess asked noticing her aunt’s strange tone and then Anne simply nodded, looking away trying so hard not to cry out  
“I’m sorry” the girl said honestly   
“I thought… I thought he would have believed me this time, I thought he would have listened to my reasons, I… thought he would have had faith in me” Anne said closing her eyes before counting “I was such a fool, Bess”  
“I’m sorry” Bess repeated once again, feeling useless   
“I will never love anyone else, never again” Anne said with the voice and the expression of Milady de Winter and Bess got scared “No, no. I won’t accept that. You are hurt now but you won’t let him win. You’ll love again and he’ll regret leaving you and hurting you like this, I can promise you that”  
In that moment Anne shook her head heavily “No. Love is weakness, love is a dangerous disadvantage, caring is not an advantage and I will never love a man ever again”  
“No… Aunt”  
“Yes” and that was her final word on the matter

That same night Athos started drinking heavily again, losing his senses in the tavern, only to be found by his longtime friend Porthos, who dragged him out of there and brought him to his place. Porthos had seen his friends in similar conditions in many occasion but this time it was different, he could barley speak or stand right, or think, he even feared he might have taken some kind of drugs, then he whispered a name and everything became clearer.

“Anne…” Athos paused for some seconds before continuing “I love her”  
“I know” Porthos said understanding, of course he loved her, everyone knew it.  
“She’s a murdering whore” Athos continued and then he paused again, his eyes lost, his mind mainly absent “and I love her”  
“You’ll think about this tomorrow, mate. Now sleep” Porthos insisted   
“Tomorrow she’ll be in the King’s arms. Again” he said sad and angry, then after some seconds he added something “I should be too”  
“What? In the King’s arms?” Porthos said laughing amused   
“No. Into some-else’s arms”  
“You? You who didn’t move on in 10 years?” Porthos asked skeptical   
“She has, so should I” Athos said closing his eyes but once he did that the only imagine he got was the one of his beloved Anne between his sheets only some hours before “But I love her” he acknowledged. Porthos looked at him feeling sorry for his friend “Sleep. Tomorrow you won’t even remember this conversation”  
“But I’ll still love her. I will always love her”

And then Athos finally felt asleep and he dreamed his wife, the murdering whore that Catherine described him and of his wife, the Anne that used to run in the fields with him, and then of his wife, Milady the Winter, the liar and the Cardinal’s spy that kissed him in the alley and then again, his wife, Anne, his love that helped them against Rochefort and his wife the King’s whore. He hated her and yet he realized he couldn’t help but love her too.

The next morning he woke up with no memories of the previous night but smelling forget me nots as if they were all around him. 

In the following moths Athos tried to forget about his wife and failed. Each time the memories became unbearable he drawn himself into alcohol and one of his friends dragged him home, each time more annoyed. D’Artagnan started even to help him silently, covering for him each time he was to drunk to make reasonable decisions or to attend a royal event and he didn’t even noticed, Constance announced they were pregnant and he didn’t even notice that.

Days and moths went by and Athos could barley register the difference between night and day, then something woke him up, a rumor circulating in the tavern, a whisper, becoming each second more insistent.

The King’s mistress is with a child

His heart stopped for a moment, he lost a beat

The King’s mistress is with a child

He had heard right

The King’s mistress is with a child  
The King’s mistress is with a child

Anne was the Kind’s mistress, he thought scared.   
Anne, his wife, his love, the liar and the murder was with a child, a child, his Anne, his beloved Anne… Anne… Anne…

Someone came closer to him, calling him “Athos?” “Athos?” “Athos?” each time with a louder voice. Then he turned in the voice’s direction and he realized it was Porthos “Are ok?” his friend asked him insistently “Do you want to talk about this?”  
“No” he replied without even realizing he was   
“Are you sure? You seem…upset” Hearing Athos made him almost laugh and so he smirked in his friend’s direction, then Porthos continued “Yeah, you’re right, you’re always upset when she’s concern, but you look…strange this, stranger than usual” Porthos said looking at him “Do you mind to tell me what’s going on?”  
“She’s with a child” Athos simply replied   
“Yes, I’ve heard, this must be…tough” he commented, not sure on what to say  
“She is my wife”  
“She’s the King’s mistress now” Porthos pointed out   
“How long…?”  
“How long what?” Porthos asked confused   
“When did…when did I start, restart to drink like this?”  
“I don’t know, three months ago? Four? I don’t remember…Why?”  
“How far is she? Do you know?” Athos screamed finding grip on his shoulder   
“What do you mean?”  
“She is a killer… and a liar…. and a murdering whore and my wife… And her child… her child it might me mine, I think it might be mine or a royal bastard. But he could me mine”  
“What…? What do you mean…?”  
“I’m not sure, I can’t be sure about it but… the child might be mine” he said once again before passing out

The next morning Athos woke up with an awful headache and a bad presentiment

“Good mooring Captain” a voice he recognized as Porthos said and turning he meet his friends gaze on him  
“Please, please don’t talk this loud” he said feeling all the symptoms of the hungover   
“Take this” his friend said giving him a glass “It’s water” he pointed out seeing disappointment in Athos’s eyes “Rehydration should help you, drink”  
“Why are you here?” Athos said annoyed. It was common for him to have blackouts after his nights at the tavern, what was not so common was to find one of his friends still with him the morning after.  
“I’m happy to see you too, mate”   
“Why are you here?” Athos repeated even more annoyed   
“We need to discuss something”  
“We?”  
“Your wife. We need to discuss your wife”  
“Anne…?”  
“The dowager Duchess of Buckingham is rumored to be with a child”  
“So it was not just a bad dream” Athos acknowledge hitting his head  
“No, it’s pretty real, the King’s mistr…”  
“Anne” Athos corrected him whispering angrily before realizing he was   
But Porthos continued nevertheless “The King’s mistress, I was saying, is rumored to be with a child” he waited for some seconds before continuing not sure if Athos could remember everything of the conversation of the night before, then eventually he spoke again “You say the child could be yours” he whispered, waiting for his friend to react somehow but he didn’t. He just stayed there paralyzed without saying a single word, so after a short pause Porthos continued “Would you mind to explain, please…? Are the two of you having an affair?” he asked hesitantly 

After a long pause he finally managed to answer and he simply said “No”

No, he was not having an affair with his own wife, Athos thought, of that at least he was sure, but he had no intention of discussing his relationship with Anne any longer but unfortunately Porthos had no intention of dropping the subject so easily so after some seconds he spoke again “Ok, so what’s… between you two?”  
“Nothing, we are over” Athos said mad “This time for good” he added some seconds later sadly   
“I see…So why do you think her child is yours?” he waited for a moment before continuing “Why?”  
“Four months ago she… got jealous seeing me talking with her niece”  
“Her niece?”  
“Lady Elizabeth Talbot, her English nice by marriage. Anyway…she got jealous and she…I mean we…” Athos looked away embarrassed and Porthos understood what he wanted to say.  
“I see. That’s all?”  
“No, some days later she came to my Office and…she found out that I came to the crossroads and…we had another moment”  
“Wow”  
“Yes”  
“So… the real question now is… why aren’t the two of you far away living your happily ever after?”

“Because she doesn’t love me, she never did” he said calmly but mad   
“That’s a lie” Porthos replied seriously  
“No, I don’t think so, for what is worth I think that she was sincere 5 years ago, when she asked you to go away with her, when she claimed she wanted a better life…. and she actually managed that… She hasn’t killed anyone in the last 5 years, as long as we know at least”  
“Yes, you’re right. I think… But she didn’t kill anyone just because she didn’t have to” he said bitterly  
“Which proves she’s actually changed, mate”  
Athos reflected about it for a while, then he spoke again giving his friend some further detail   
“I asked her to run away with me”  
“What?”  
“Four months ago, after we… I asked her to marry me again and to run away and she…she said no”  
“Oh”  
“So she clearly isn't in love with me. She’s in love with money and status and since I can’t give them to her, she’s not interested in me, she never was interested in me in the first place”  
“She…”  
“Oh no you’re right, she is, of course she is. If she need someone to screw she is, but that’s all. She isn’t interested in having a real relationship with me, she…she doesn’t love me, she never did and never will. It was all a lie, the person I love doesn’t even exist” he said with the saddest tone Porthos had ever heard from him and the only think that he managed to say was a sincere “I’m sorry”  
Athos nodded in return appreciating it, then he simply said sadly “I don’t even know why I still care”  
“This baby…”  
“What’s the matter anyway? It’s not like I’ll raise him, the King loves her and will acknowledge the child, I’ll have to…”  
“Yes, you’ll have to keep distance, you are the Captain of the King’s Musketeers, Louis can’t have any doubts about your loyalty” Porthos said touching his shoulder “Do you hear me?? You would put your own life at risk”  
“I know” Athos replied looking away   
“You can’t be her child’s father, you’ll never be his father”  
“I know. I shouldn’t bother. Probably he is not even mine anyway”   
and those were the last words he was willing to say on the matter 

In the following days Athos tried not to think about that news and failed miserably and got drunk as a result, several times. Eventually he couldn’t help it anymore and started visiting the palace, hoping to find a moment to speak with her alone, to… clarify everything with her, but Anne constantly avoided him. Only 10 days after he finally managed to have a talk with her.

Anne went to the confessor after the Mass, as she used to do everyday since her official return to Court. She did that, even if she didn’t believe in God, she never did and never felt the impulse to, but she had to admit that she didn’t dislike the idea of the function so much, it was a moment of the day she took only for herself, to think, to reflect, to remember. Then, obviously she had to go to the priest and fake a stupid confession, but she had to admit that she found that part pretty amusing, even if she didn’t randomly kill Priests any longer…

“Forgive me Father, for I’ve sinned” she whispered, ready to start the act  
But the priest had an unexpected voice, a voice she once knew really well and with a trembling voice he said a name, her name “Anne…”  
“Athos! What are you doing here?” she said moving slightly, visibly upset   
“Don’t go, please…” he begged her hesitantly   
“Why? Why should I stay, Captain?” she said angrily   
“Stay… Stay, it’s better like this, the others will suspect if you leave so soon, you know that”  
Anne reflexed upon it for some seconds and eventually she had to agree with him “Fair enough”  
They stayed like that, Athos looking for his wife’s eyes, Anne avoiding her husband’s gaze on her.

Then eventually Athos found the courage to ask what she had always wanted to “So is it true?”  
“What?” Anne asked without understanding   
“Are you… Are you with a child?” he asked looking at her sadly   
“What does it matter to you? Now that you know that I never loved you, now that you have finally understood what I wanted from you” she said bitterly and hurt.  
Athos knew that tone and for a moment he felt the impulse to hug her tight to tell her that everything was going to be ok, but it was just a moment, then he remembered she still was the liar that had left him for her lover, the King. She was still the one that had always chosen power and money above everything else, above him, then he remembered that she was also Anne, the love of his life and his tone became more tender “I’m not here to argue, Anne. I just want to know… Is it true? Are you with a child?”   
Anne closed her eyes, putting the hands on her womb before answering. A simple, short, quick answer, whispered with an incredibly sad tone “Yes”  
“Is it his? Or…” he asked hesitantly   
“Yes my chid is his, he will always be his” officially at least, she thought. 

Those words hurt him deeply, but he had to know everything, he had to be sure before letting her go, so he simply whispered with a broken voice “Could it be mine?”  
“What do you want to know? What do you need to hear?” she whispered angrily   
“I… be honest, for once, just once. Aren’t you tired of this? Is it… mine?”  
He was right. She was tired of that… anger that was devouring them so she tried to be honest, really honest with him “I…don’t know. It might be yours, I don’t know” she said sadly, then she remembered that there was no hope in her anymore and he was responsible for that. He had taken everything from, her love, her passion, her happiness and now she was stuck in that awful situation and with a child on the road. She remembered all this and her eyes changed again and her voice became the one of Milady de Winter and her anger became more evident “What did you expect from a woman like me?”  
“Anne…”

But he never managed to finish that sentence, since Anne was already gone.

He left too, in a hurry, hoping that no-one would have noticed him, unfortunately someone did. 

“Athos?” An hesitant female voice asked and he turned meeting Constance’s eyes that were tracing around him “Constance” he said and the woman kept looking at him speechless “What are you doing here? What..?” Then she noticed that Milady de Winter was leaving the Church and understood everything “Is this about her?” she asked shocked and his silence was the loudest explanation “Oh my God it’s about her, I though her influence over you was over” she said sadly, then she took his hand and brought him in a private room whispering “Come with me now”

Away from indiscreet eyes yelled at him “Are you out of your mind?”  
“It’s none of your business and I needed to see her, I…” Athos said trying to defend himself  
“What is about her that makes you still care?” she replied still overwhelmed and he didn’t gave her a proper a reply but her expression spoke loudly and once again Constance understood and without realizing she was she touched her womb “The child? Is about this?” she whispered kindly   
“It might be mine, maybe, maybe…” he replied looking away  
Constance nodded firmly and then eventually she decided to share something with him “Fine, I’m telling you something now and you have to listen carefully” after a moment of silence she continued “The King is dying”  
“What?” Athos replied genuinely surprised  
“The King is ill, the physician don’t know exactly what’s going on, but he’s extremely ill. He can’t eat and… he vomits all the time, he has… several stomach diseases and the tuberculosis is wearing on him each day more, he bleeds all the time, his intestines are ulcerated, they don’t think he will last long”  
“Oh my God…this is… a shock…”  
“I know”  
“What are we talking about? Months?”  
“Weeks is more accurate”

Then a knowledge hit him suddenly and he asked a question, one whose answer he feared more than anything else “How long…since… since when…you know about this?”  
“4 months, more or less”  
“and she…?”  
“She’s the closest thing to a friend he has, she was probably the first to know”  
“4 moths ago…”  
“Yes”

What have I done? He thought understanding everything in a second. 4 months, their encounters, her inability to leave with him…4 moths before… 

“So Athos, please, please, for your sake…for her sake…for the child’s sake… Keep away, stay distant from them…for now at least” Constance said before disappearing


	9. Hurt

A week later King Louis XIII died.

At the end his intestines were inflamed and ulcerated, making digestion virtually impossible, in addiction to this tuberculosis had spread to his lungs, accompanied by his habitual cough and bleedings, it was the 14th of May, 1643 and the only person he wanted by his side right before his death was his official mistress, the dowager Duchess of Buckingham, Anne.

“Do you need something? I could bring some water or some…”  
“No, no thank you, Milady… Just let me look at you, you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen”

Louis meant that, her beautiful green eyes, her dark curly hair, her perfect pale skin, she really was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, probably she was the most beautiful woman in the whole known world, he thought. But Milady was not only beautiful, she was intelligent, hight spirited, funny, witty, kind, she had everything a man could possibly want from a lover, a companion, a friend and he had been so lucky to have at least her in his life.

“Your Majesty is too kind, as always” she whispered caressing his face, distracting him from his thoughts. He looked at her once again and suddenly he realized he really was worried about her future “No, no. Keep your distance, Milady. I don’t want to infect you or our baby. You must know that I’m sorry to leave you… to leave you alone to an uncertain future, I wish it was different”  
Milady smiled sadly, caressing his cheeks once again before whispering “You don’t need to worry about me, I’m a grown up and I know how to keep my life, my only worry now is you”  
“I’m afraid”  
“I know, I’m sorry. What can I do?” she whispered nodding sad and worried   
He closed her eyes for some seconds, trying to find the strength to say those last words to his beloved “My son… The Queen hates me, I know she will do anything that is in her power to make him forget about me. Don’t let that happen, promise me you won’t that happen”  
Anne smiled sadly before speaking to him in the sweetest tone possible “I think… I think you’re misjudging her, Majesty. I’m sure she would gladly say goodbye to you, she…”  
“What makes you think that?” he said annoyed   
Milady breathed heavily before explaining herself to him “Because… Because no matter what, if my husband was dying, I would do anything to say goodbye” she said, realizing immediately that she meant every word and that realization scared her suddenly, so she closed her eyes abruptly, trying to calm down. Without success. In a moment she knew, she cared about him, she cared about Oli - Athos, she cared about Athos, still.   
“Oliver is a very lucky man” Louis said looking at her with a smirk and Milady corrected him instantly “Was”  
“Right, was…” Louis replied unconvinced closing his eyes and she honestly could not understand if he was just confused and delirious for his illness or if he… but she did not have time to figure that out since he spoke again “So…don’t let that happen, my son needs to remember me”  
“He will, I promise” she said trying to reassure him   
“Tell him I loved him” he said sadly, begging her one last time and she nodded in return whispering a simple “I will, don’t worry about that my dear”  
He nodded in relief before continuing “And tell our child… Tell him that I’m sorry I never managed to meet him. Tell him…Tell him that I’ve set a huge amount of money and lands for both of you”  
“That’s not…” she started shacking her head  
“Yes it is” he replied a tone that didn’t allow any kind of reply so Milady just stayed there nodding and smiling at him “Thank you, your Majesty”  
“No, no. Thank you, my love. Thank you for being my friend, my home, thank you for everything. I thank God for the time we had, I love you, Milady de Winter”  
“And I love you King Louis XIII” she replied holding tears back, and those, those were the last words he heard.

The following days were chaotic, the tension in the palace was palpable to everyone, the Queen was furious because Treville had been named Regent and not her. The Court was divided between the two of them and Anne was trying to recollect herself into pieces and to decide what her next move might have been. The truth was she had no idea what to do, she surely did not want to return to her old estate, but she did not want to stay at Court either and yet, at the same time she did not want to leave Paris again.

One morning she was walking through the musician room to go to meet the physician when her thoughts were interrupted by a voice full of disrespect and disgust that she recognized as the one belonging to the Dowager Queen of France, Anne of Austria “What are you still doing here?”  
“Majesty” she whispered before bowing, then she looked the Queen in the eyes before speaking to her once again “I’m sorry for your loss” she said honestly, but those words managed only to make the Queen even angrier than before, her eyes changed and her tone showed more mockery than irritation when she finally said “Are you, Milady? Or are you sorry for yours?”

Anne nodded and bowed again before turning, all she wanted to do was to leave that room, to leave her presence but the Queen had no intention of letting the subject go that easily and stopped her “I can’t stand you, you. I’ve lost everything, I’ve been left with nothing! And all of this because of you and Treville. You’ve drawn the King away from me, you…”  
“No, you did it yourself” Anne replied annoyed but honest so the Queen looked at her for some seconds speechless before whispering angrily “How dare you?”  
After some seconds of pause Anne spoke again looking in her direction “I’m not blaming you, your Grace. I understand that arrange marriage must have been…hard, but he has always listened to YOU, your opinions always mattered to HIM, you were his friend. But you…you never wanted Louis’s attentions and time. You did not share common interests and I understand that but you…you never even… tried to connect, to bond with him, never and you hurt him”

“Hurt him? What do you mean hurt him?”   
“Yes you hurt him, you constantly rejected him, which was… your right of course but in this way you hurt him, deeply and trust me, being rejected from someone you care about is… a painful experience” she said closing her eyes for some seconds thinking inevitably about her husband, then she stopped that thought. Athos could not always be the center of her attention “What I mean is that… you both neglected each other, so you both are responsible for the failure of your marriage”  
Unfortunately the Queen’s rage hadn’t diminished at all “You dare to say this, you dare to defy me? The mother of my husbands’s bastard!”

Anne touched her swollen womb instantaneity and protectively, she would have accepted any kind of threats towards her but not towards her baby so she looked at the Queen in the way Milady de Winter would have and spoke to her in the way Milady de Winter would have “I wouldn’t have touched this topic if I were you” she whispered with a challenging tone and that tone and her eyes scared the Queen “Is that a threat?” the woman cried angrily and Milady smiled amused before whispering “Merely an observation? Should I remind you that it was ME who saved both yours and your lover’s life? Should I remind you that I know everything about little Louis’s biological father?”

The Queen’s expression changed immediately, from angry to scared and terrified and just stayed there silent for some seconds, looking to the other woman without saying a single word.

Unfortunately her face spoke more loudly that words would ever have, so Anne just smiled one last time, appreciating the power she still could have over the Queen, before continuing “Relax, Majesty, I have no intention of bringing you down but do no to threat or insult my child in the future. As I said, I’m sorry for your loss” and saying so she bowed one last time before leaving her presence.

In that same place, a couple of days later, some-else was looking for the Dowager Duchess. Unfortunately he only managed to meet her niece, Bess.

“Lady Elizabeth”

The girl recognized that voice immediately and turned suddenly, meeting exactly the eyes she was expecting “Captain, what a surprise” she whispered ironically “Are you at least waiting for his corpse to be cold?” she asked annoyed.  
Athos felt all the girl’s anger towards him and accepted that, he knew he deserved that after all, but he needed her to listen to him either way so he insisted “Lady Elizabeth, please, please…Listen…Listen to me, now. I need to talk to her, I…”  
“You need to, mmm? The problem is that she doesn’t, she’s better off without you” she replied annoyed, after some seconds she continued even more annoyed than before “Why are you still around anyway?”  
Athos breathed in for a moment, then he finally spoke again “The last time we spoke… I… I told her… things I wish to take back”  
“This is the underestimation of the century, Captain” Bess said angrily, looking at him with disgust

Athos nodded sadly “Of course, she told you”  
“It was not necessary” was her simple but true answer.

It was really not necessary, her aunt pain and disappointment were so evident to everyone that day, and the following days too. Fortunately things were going better now and Bess wanted to keep things that way for good and allowing Oliver to come back in her aunt’s life was surely a good way to reach the opposite.

The Captain looked at her for some seconds, then he hesitantly asked her “How… How is she?”  
Bess breathed heavily, trembling slightly. The only presence of Oliver d’Athos de la Fere made her mad. This was the man, the person that had broken her aunt’s heart time and again, the man that had sentenced her to die, the man that had left her, used her, mistreated her and broke her, more time than she could even count. She had seen the effect he had on Anne, the way he made her change, the way he made her suffer, the way he made her doubt everything, the way he made her…vulnerable. And she hated him, she hated this man with all her being even if she barley knew him. She looked at him once again, the great love of Anne’s life. Her husband, her tormentor, her joy, her hate, her love. She looked at him and in a moment she knew she had to push him away, she had to do that for her.

“I’m not sure it’s your concern, Oliver” she said turning, with the intention of leaving that place   
“Lady Elizabeth… she’s important to me” he said grabbing her arm, stopping her, staring at her.  
Bess separated from him abruptly before whispering to him mad “She’s important to me too and I don’t trust you. I will never trust you”  
“I know and I can’t blame you for that, but you have to know that I regretted that choice every day, I still do. But I never stopped loving her, she’s strong, passionate, witty, beautiful, she turns your life up and down…She…is…a perfect beautiful storm and the only way you have to survive her is to give up and to drown into her. She’s my everything, she’s always been, she will always be and I’m so, so, so goddamn sorry for everything” he paused for some seconds before continuing, he stopped and thought about his beautiful witty wife, the Comtesse Anne “She was beautiful and she wanted me and I… I destroyed everything. It was my fault, it was all my fault”  
“She more than wanted you, she loved you, she loved you very much, more than you deserved it surely” she replied looking away

Athos lowered his eyes for a second, feeling ashamed and guilty, even if so many years had gone by. But he had never moved on, he would have never moved on from her and yet he realized that moving on would have been the better option for her, being free of him, of them, of their bounding. It would have been better for her and it would have been wiser for both of them probably, so he told Bess “I know she did, but from time to time I wish she didn’t, it would have been much easier for her to just… move on. Forget about me, about our history”  
Bess nodded, wondering for the first time if there was something more in him, something she didn’t understand at first, wondering if he was worthy of being heard any further and Athos immediately noticed that in the girl’s eyes and so he tried to connect with her once again “I need to talk to her, please, please… she needs to know…”  
“To know what?” Bess replied annoyed “That you love her? That you wish you had believed her? Or listened to her, at least? Some things never change, isn’t it? This is the problem, Captain, I know that you love her, in your twisted way I know you do, but this does not change the fact that you always, constantly hurt her, you two just don’t work, maybe you two should just accept that”  
“Lady Elizabeth…”  
“Why can’t you just let her alone? Her life is already complicated enough at the moment”  
“Lady Elizabeth… I know that you’re trying to protect her, I know you’re in good faith, but…The day after tomorrow I’ll be at the coronation. Tell her that I hope to meet her there, tell her… Tell her that I’m sorry and… give her this” he said giving something to her.  
Bess looked at the object he had given her without recognizing it “A old glove?” she asked hesitantly “Yes, please” he replied sure.  
Bess looked at him again, his hopefully eyes and his sad expression were hypnotic, she started to understand what her aunt might have seen in him a long time before, so, even if reluctantly he agreed “Fine, I still believe that you two are crazy but I will” she said taking that old glove.

Later that day Bess entered in Anne’s chambers, her aunt was laying on the bed, half asleep but noticed her immediately nevertheless “Hello” she whispered smiling in her direction  
“Hello to you too” Bess said coming closer to her and and then whispered the same greeting to her womb “and hello to you t…”  
“Stop it”  
“Why should I?”  
“I said stop it” Anne replied seriously, then she spoke again “What are you doing here anyway? Why aren’t you downstair listening to the Court’s gossip?”  
“I’ve listened enough for today” Bess said smirking satisfied, then she looked at her aunt worried. Anne looked really weak and pale and exhausted, so she asked genuinely preoccupied “How do you feel? Are you still tired?”  
“I’m always tired and enormous” Anne replied closing her eyes for a second   
“Don’t say that, you look pretty good considering that you’re…”  
“Don’t say that aloud please. I still find it difficult to believe it sometimes, you know that I…”  
“Fine, I won’t mention that, then…” Bess whispered sitting next to her and Anne smiled softly for the first time that day and then she whispered a sincere “Thank you” after some seconds she spoke again “And you? How are you? I’m sorry if I’ve been so selfish these days…”  
Bess shook her head “No, don’t worry. I’m fine, I’m a grown up now, you don’t need to worry about me anymore”   
“I will always worry for you, you know that” Anne replied with a serious look and in a moment   
Bess lowered her her eyes sad thinking about their past so she suddenly changed the subject, deciding to ask Anne about her planes for the future “What… Have you thought about what…what are you are going to do…” she simply whispered hesitantly looking at her growing womb   
Anne closed her eyes for a couple of seconds before speaking again “I… I think I’m staying here until the birth and then… I don’t know, I’ll figure out later but I’m not staying here”  
Bess nodded trying to be encouraging before whispering “Of course, aunt, of course” but Anne noticed Bess’s worries and tried to calm her down “Hey… darling, don’t worry. I will never leave you, we’ll make this decision together and either way I’ll make sure you’ll be fine and happy. I promise”

Bess shook her head once again, still incapable of understanding the reason why someone could care about her this much “You don’t need to be so overprotective, really, it’s your life, you can make your own decisions without considering me”  
Anne smiled at her kindly and moved slightly, finding herself sitting on the edge of the bed, she looked at her niece once again, the mistrust Bess had in people’s affection for her reminded her so much of herself and in a moment she knew she needed to be reassured so she whispered sweetly “I know I can, but we are family remember?”  
“Always” Bess said nodding   
“Always” Anne repeated hugging her and Bess melted hugging her back, keeping tears back. They stayed liked that for a while, then eventually Bess separated and looked at Anne in the eyes before speaking again “Aunt… listen a couple of days ago… I… I’ve also met someone” she whispered hesitantly   
“Someone?” Anne replied without understanding   
“Someone you know very well. It won’t be easy to hear” Bess warned her but Anne didn’t realized how serious she was so she just laughed amused “Mmm… Interesting… who?”  
“Your husband”   
“I see…” Anne said changing tone immediately, from tender to tense in a moment.

Bess suddenly saw that and tried to explain herself “I know I promised not to interfere but he approached me and he gave me this” she said giving the glove to her aunt.  
Anne took it hesitantly, tasting it slowly, bringing closer to her “Thank you” her fast answer.  
Bess after a moment continued “He’s sorry, he wants to apologize for what he said to you and… he will be at the coronation”  
Anne suddenly, unexpectedly touched her womb, protectively and Bess immediately noticed “You don’t have to meet him, if you don’t want to, you own him nothing”  
“I know” she said holding the glove tight   
“What will you do?”  
“I don’t know” she said with a trembling voice “I don’t know” she repeated once more.


	10. Fighting for love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Porthos is the best, Elodie is his worthy wife

Two days later, the 7th of June, the young Louis, heir to the House of Bourbon, was crowed Louis XIV, sovereign King of France and Navarre. The whole Court was present, bowing before the new King and the new Lord Protector, Jean-Armand du Peyrer, Comte de Trèville, swearing fealty to them. The dowager Duchess of Buckingham, Anne, the favorite of the late King, was present too, as well as her husband, the Captain of the King’s Musketeers, Oliver d’Athos, Comte de la Fère.

Anne knew her not-so-late husband would have been there and was trying not to think about it, with scare results. Then she saw him, beautiful as always, leading the loyal Musketeers in the King’s last and most difficult journey.

The loyal Musketeers, so loyal that one of them had screwed his wife and… another had screwed his lover, multiple times actually, she thought feeling a little guilty.   
The loyal Musketeers, so loyal that each of them had publicly defied the King’s order in the months preceding his death, so loyal to him that they had clearly taken the Queen’s side time and again, against him, the King they were so loyal serving.

That whole situation was ridiculous and hypocrite to her, but her thoughts were stopped when she noticed something, something that she knew she should have noticed sooner and once she did she couldn’t help but loosing a beat and in a second she touched her womb protectively.

His… His… Bicep Armor had a draw made in bass relief, a draw she recognized almost immediately.

Forget-me-nots

Her… Their flowers, forget-me-not… He was wearing forget-me-not on his Captain’s Armor, he was wearing her, he was wearing them on his… Musketeer’s garment, how foolish and nonsense was that, she thought, how could he have thought that he had any right, ANY RIGHT to… He was nothing, he meant nothing, he’s nothing to me, she thought once again, not anymore and looked away fierce.

In that same moment Athos turned in her direction, spying on her for the umpteenth time that day. She was incredible, a force of nature, an unstoppable, beautiful, perfect storm.

Everyone was whispering of her, she had no friend at Court, and after the King’s death she had no protection either, but she was pregnant with the son - the supposedly son - he thought annoyed, of the late King and everyone was waiting for the Queen’s reaction about that and yet nothing was going on.

The Dowager Duchess was pregnant a child, the living proof of the King’s infidelity and yet the Dowager Queen was simply… avoiding her rival, she had not kicked her out and she had done nothing against her and the whole France was wondering about that. Why was the Dowager Queen tolerating her husband mistress and her child? Why was she allowing that? 

Rumors and insinuations were spreading wide and wider and yet Anne stood there alone, unassailable, fierce, strong, above everyone, above everything.  
She was so… beautiful, she was still the most beautiful girl he had ever met and yet being beautiful was just one of her qualities. Anne was witty, charming, highly intelligent and determinate and… the strongest person he had ever met, and he knew it, if Anne had survived him she could survive anything.

Two hours later, after the whole ceremony was over Anne came back to the palace, deciding to take a walk in the gardens to relax a little bit, that day had been one of the most difficult of her life and she still needed time for herself, alone. Well, not completely alone obviously since her bab… then she realized that someone was watching her from afar and in a blink of second she recognized the silhouette of a man she knew very well, the silhouette of her man, the silhouette of the man she’d loved and hated so much in her life, her… 

She closed her eyes for some seconds before turning, meeting her husband’s eyes “You can come closer, your spying on me is becoming annoying, Captain”  
He obeyed, looking at her with his wide and open eyes, with a slightly shy smile.   
He met her gaze and in a moment he knew it, looking at her for too long was difficult, it was both terrifying and captivating at the same time, he felt ashamed for what he had done to her, for what he had said to her and at the same time he felt angry for what she had done to them, for having given him everything he had ever wanted just to steal everything from him time and again but she was so beautiful with her hands leaned protectively on her womb, her eyes full of no poured tears “Anne…” he called her gently. For a moment Anne looked at him and saw her young Comte but it was just a moment, then she remembered him calling her a slut and everything disappeared “Why are you here?”

Athos took a step closer and with a trembling voice he said “I wanted to see you”

He wanted to see her, what a pathetic, stupid, pitiful excuse, she thought annoyed, he wanted to see her, as if things were so simple for them, as if they could simply make up and kiss and… She closed her eyes for a second, incapable of understanding her own feelings, was she happy, or mad? Or sad? Annoyed? Or scared? She realized she had no idea, she had no idea how she really felt, and she had no idea how she should have felt or how she wanted to feel. She simply had no idea, she was incapable of… acting rationally when he was concern, she constantly tried and she constantly failed and she hated him for that so she just stared at him for some seconds before continuing “No, before that, why have you looked for me? Why does it matter to you, still? I’m just a liar after all, am I not?”

“Anne…”

“Don’t” she replied annoyed and still deeply hurt   
“Just tell me how are you” he begged her touching her elbow gently, trying to reassure her  
“I’ve been worse and I’ve been better” she replied separating from him, escaping that gentle touch and Athos nodded acknowledging the pain of being rejected once again, then something hit him, a truth he had tried to hide without success. She had just lost someone, someone she… cared about, someone she… and then those words left his mouth without even realizing they were   
“Did you love him?” Did. You. Love. Him. He did not intend to have such a stupid, nervous, jealous tone and yet he couldn’t help it. She looked at him surprised and in a moment of bitterness she answered something he did not want to hear “I did”

She did, and that confession hurt him deeply, she had loved another, who was not her husband, who was not him, she did, and maybe she had never loved him truly after all, maybe he had never been… what did she call him? - The love of her life - he remembered it abruptly, feeling strange, his throat got all chocked up, she had called him “The love her life” and now she claimed she had loved another, how was that even possible? To love two persons at the same time…

Anne was looking at him, waiting for his reply and yet he couldn’t speak, he had no idea what to say and her empty expression didn’t help at all. On the other hand Anne kept looking at him, secretly hoping that he would understand what she wanted to say.  
I did, she thought again, of course I did, but not the way I love - damn - loved you.   
But those words never came out and Athos didn’t move for a while, clearly feeling uncomfortable in that situation. Eventually he managed to speak again and grumbled a stupid, pathetic condolence “I’m sorry for your loss”

Anne almost laughed in that moment, he was sorry, he was always sorry but this didn’t change the fact that they always hurt each other “Thank you” she replied smoothly and then some bitter words left her mouth, words she never wanted to say but words she did not manage to contain “It was your King, a King you claimed you loved, you should be grieving too”  
“I was loyal to him, it was my duty. I never said I loved him” he replied looking away   
“Oh right, I almost forgot, your duty takes precedence over everything, as always”  
“Not everything, not you” she whispered with a trembling voice   
“Have you any idea how ridiculous this sounds? Said from you! You who…” she cried out but he stopped her “Anne…” he whispered finding grip on her elbow “Anne… please…”   
“Let me go” she said firmly “Leave me alone, Captain”  
“I’m sorry Anne and I’m sorry I didn’t believe you, I’m sorry I didn’t let you explain yourself, I’m…”  
Anne knew he loved her, somehow, in his twisted way, but he did.   
But Anne also knew that love had never been the problem between them, so she stopped him   
“I know you’re sorry, you always are, Athos, but you’ll never believe me, will you?”

And she did not leave him the time to reply to that and Athos’s heart broke again.

Days and weeks went by and Athos became once again the perfect Captain, diligent, focused, capable, reliable, the kind of person you want on your side when you are in trouble and yet his friends were preoccupied. Really, seriously preoccupied. He was… polite and kind and yet at the same time… absent. If not absolutely necessary he avoided to spend time with the others Musketeers, his friends, his brothers. And yet he wasn’t drunk and he behaved good most of the time. When Constance had delivered an healthy baby girl, he had even offered his congratulation and a gift for the newborn, but after that he had refused to go to the tavern with D’Artagnan and the others to celebrate. He was incredibly… distant, he didn’t even looked like a person anymore, but rather an automaton, an automaton that had decided to dedicate all his life to his duty, to France. An automaton that was just working because of some ancient form of automatism, not because of a true desire or need his eyes were often empty, his mind mainly absent, his thoughts elsewhere and his friends were worried about him.

One day Porthos decided to face him, Athos had drop in to his place to discuss some issues and assignments to the group of the young cadets, for some reason he hated to spent time in his own office and he avoided it most of the time, which another things for which Porthos was worried, so he decided to face him one and for all and to force him to confess what was bothering him so much.

Athos was about to leave when Porthos finally decided to grub his friend’s arm, stopping him “Do you want to talk about it?” he asked abruptly   
“About what? Jean?” Athos replied perplexed   
“No, not Jean, I…I don’t know exactly, whatever is bothering you lately” but Athos kept staring at him without replying so Porthos took a deep breath before continuing “You…You’re not the same”  
“What do you mean?” Athos asked, not really interested in hearing the answer and Porthos looked at him with an incredibly serious gaze “Athos…com’on you…You…You’re not drinking”  
“Are you complaining for this or…?”  
“You actually stopped drinking… you’re… sober…” he whispered, honestly disorientated for such a change and Athos, like before, simply kept looking at him without replying so his friend continued hesitantly “The day… The day after the King’s coronation you locked yourself in your rooms for a week and since then… since then you haven’t touched a single glass of wine…It’s… incredibly odd”  
“People change” Athos replied tough and simply but Porthos shook his head energetically before speaking again “Not like this, not without a reason, so… what happened? Do you… want…do you need to discuss this?” But Athos silence persisted so Porthos continued talking cloudless “Are you… punishing yourself somehow?”   
“Punishing?” Athos replied without fully understanding what the other was meaning and Porthos smirked slightly embarrassed from that situation “You…you draw your feelings, your emotions, your… pain into alcohol, trying desperately to forget, to…not feel, so…your sobriety means that…you’re feeling everything, you’re dealing with everything…I’m just worried about you, mate, that’s all”  
In that moment Athos understood and shook his head, touched by his friend’s concern “Don’t be, Porthos, don’t be” he hesitated some further seconds before continuing “It’s Anne…It’s about Anne, again”  
“I suspected, it’s always about Anne”  
Athos nodded, then he spoke again, almost in a state of shock “She… She couldn’t have left him, even if she wanted to, even if she wanted to be with me, to… leave with me, she…He was dying”  
“Probably you’re right” Porthos agreed, finally relief that his friend was opening up to him, then Athos talked again “She should have told me, she should have trusted me. She never trusts me, she did not even had the courage to wait for me at the crossroads, how can I…”  
But Porthos stopped him “Athos, dear friend… Did you… give her the time to explain herself?” and his gaze and his silence was an eloquent answer, so Porthos hesitated for some further seconds before continuing “So… what are you saying is that… the woman you’ve loved for a decade is no longer a cold blood murder, has redeemed herself, is in love with you, still in love with you and… available. She might even be pregnant with your child… And even if the baby wasn’t yours, you two could still raise him together. Family is not all about blood relations” and in that moment Porthos smiled thinking about his beautiful wife and her, their child, Marie Cezette. Then he continued “So the real question is, why are you here with me and not with her trying to figure it out if there is something left to save?”  
Athos breathed in, trying to calm down “She is in confinement now and anyway I tried. I tried and I failed. She does not want to talk to me, she will never…”  
“Stop this nonsense. Go to her, MAKE her listen to you” Porthos insisted   
“You don’t listen, I tried”  
“Try harder, then. You deserve to be happy, we all do”  
“So, let me get this… Since you’re happy, everyone else needs to be happy, too?” Athos whispered annoyed and his friends smiled at him before continuing “There is nothing wrong with it, Athos”

In that moment Elodie and Marie Cezette returned home and Athos was forced to witness all the trite romantic scene between the two reunited spouses with their child. That scene was too much for him and he had to look away because in just a second a mixture of emotion hit him hard…sadness, anger, disappointment, regret, love and… At that point he realized Porthos and the baby were gone, while Elodie was staring at him.

“I’m so sorry Elodie, I was…distracted. I should go now…”  
“Athos, listen to me carefully” she said firmly “She’s out of confinement and back at the palace but it won’t last”   
In that moment Athos panicked, she was out of confinement, she had given birth, she… Anne had…“How is she? Is she alright? And the baby?” he asked in a rush, genuinely worried about them and their health.  
Elodie nodded, trying to reassure him and in a calm tone she whispered “They are fine, as long as I know at least, but it’s been a long-lasting and difficult birthing process, you should…”  
“Is she recovered? Fully recovered?” Athos asked scared, the only idea of losing her for good was breaking his heart, Anne… he had spent his life losing her but with the knowledge that somehow they would have met her again and yet… if she…  
And then Elodie continued distracting him from his thoughts “I think she is but I know she wants to leave Paris, for good this time”  
She wanted to leave Paris, leave him, that truth hit him, she was leaving, again “How do you…?”  
“It doesn’t matter now!” Elodie exclaimed, then she continued with the same secure firmly tone “You have to go to her and stop her”  
And Athos shook his head abruptly “No, no. She doesn’t want that” she doesn’t want me  
Elodie smiled at Athos’s slowness “She does. She… wants you to stop her, she wants to be stopped, trust me”  
“It’s too late” Athos replied looking away and Elodie took his hands before saying “I don’t believe that, I’ll never believe that, it will never be too late, not for the two of you, Athos. The love you felt for her… love like that doesn’t simply… disappear. Not completely. There is always an ember remaining, echoing back. Look deep in your heart for that ember, I beg you. For her sake and yours”  
“I..”  
“You’ll never move on from her and she’ll never move on from you so… you need to accept that, you need to… embrace that. If you have to burn, burn with her”  
“She…”  
“She wants you, she has always wanted you, she had almost destroyed herself for her desire for you! How could you not see it? I mean…”  
“Elodie, stop, please, stop…me and her… we…we are over, we are in the past, we…”   
“But the past is never dead, isn’t it? That’s not what you two used to say to each other?” Elodie said with a huge smirk and Athos looked at her speechless “How… How do you even know that?”  
“It doesn’t matter now” she whispered with a firm voice “You know what does? That you and her are too pride and too stupid to accept the fact that you still want each other, still…need each other, it’s absurd!”  
He nodded and after some seconds he whispered “Do you really think she might still want me? After…everything, after…”  
And Elodie smiled at him, almost amused, Anne was right, he was really slow sometimes “I told you, she will always want you, always, so fight. Fight for yourself, your wife, your child, your happiness, fight Athos, Go”  
“I…”  
“Less talking, more acting. Go!” she screamed  
Athos nodded, reflecting about something for some seconds, then eventually he managed to speak again “I…I need to go to my place, I need something”  
“Good boy” Elodie said relief “Go”   
He gave her a little smile and then eventually he hugged her “Thank you Elodie”  
“You’ll thank me later, Captain, now Go” she encouraged him one last time and he left.

Some seconds later Porthos came back and looked at his wife “Elodie, where is Athos?”  
“Fighting for love” she replied smiling satisfied   
“No way, what did you…? How…?” he whispered genuinely admired  
“I’m a genius” she replied with a smirk on her face  
“Yes you are and I love you Elodie”  
“I love you too” she replied leaning for a kiss


	11. Sapphire

Anne closed her eyes, exhausted. 

The previous days had been devastating and she could barely remember what it meant to sleep, actually sleep, she had even almost fallen asleep during her bath some minutes before and she longed for a bed, even in that moment, when her maid was doing her hair. Then, suddenly she heard a noise and turning she met her husbands’s eyes. After some seconds of shock, she took her time to look at him. He had run, his hair were uncombed and he could hardly breath, he looked so… young, she thought, feeling a punch in the gut. He really was still handsome and his puppy face confused her for a second. There was a time that that face, his face, managed to change her day, that managed to put her life upside down, but it was something of past, buried and forgotten, even if the past is never dead, she reminded herself sadly. He and his face were staying there, in front of her, he was…out of breath and speechless. 

She was so beautiful, her hair were still wet, a long white shirt was covering her until the knees and that vision made Athos loose a beat. Her tunic was adhering to her body perfectly and he could see her so well, her curves, her hips, her bosom, her breast, her nipples. The only thing he couldn’t see was a scar, since her chocker was already covering it and Athos felt suddenly guilty. He had done that, he had sentenced her to death creating that scar, the token of his love, as she had called it once and he had asked her to give them a second chance, he had asked her to give up on that stupid chocker, he had asked her to try again and then he had left her, he had abandoned her, again. He had always, always had been the weak one between the two of them and he knew that but he couldn’t concede himself such a privilege, not anymore, so he took a step closer “Anne…” he whispered softly and gently, relieved to see that she was ok “Anne…”

She looked at him shocked for a while, then she finally found the strength to react, so after a deep breath she managed to speak “Athos… What are YOU doing here? These are my private chambers!” she screamed nervously and he nodded, trying to calm her down “Anne…Anne… listen to me, please, please…” He was begging, she thought, he always begs as if this could change how I feel “I’ve already listened to you enough, Athos. Get out” she replied annoyed, but he didn’t move, decided to fight for her, to keep her in his life. Until we are both dead, he thought, that’s how it must end between us, my love, until we are both dead so he started talking. 

“I’m sober”  
Anne looked at him shocked for a moment hearing that but then she decided that she didn’t care, she couldn’t care, she couldn’t allow herself to hope again so with an annoyed smirk she replied “Good for you, now get out”  
“I’ve been since…”  
“I don’t care, get out. What part of ‘get out’ you don’t understand?” she cried out and in that moment Athos shook his head energetically. She isn’t going to do this, he thought, she’s not doing this without seeing me fighting for her, so he took a step closer and grabbed her arm gently “No, Anne. I’m not letting you do this”  
“Athos…”  
“No, you’re not giving up on us”  
“Athos!”  
“I’m not letting you go, Anne! I’m not letting you go without a fight!” he screamed tightening his grip on her arm before continuing “Anne… Please… Please…” But she moved away separating from him, then she spoke again and her icy tone almost scared him “I said get out. Get out!”  
After some seconds of insecurities he spoke again, a simple word, a simple, powerful word “No” no, he wasn’t willing to give up on her, not again, never again and saying that simple word he knelt before his shocked and confused wife. Anne looked at him for an instant then she whispered hesitantly “What…What…What are you doing?”  
He breathed in for some seconds before answering “One time you told me it should have been me on my knees. Here I am”  
“I don’t understand, what…”

“I love you Anne, always have, always will. My life before you had been… miserable but without you…without you it had been worse. I have so many regrets, you know that, don’t you? There are so many things I wish I would have done differently. If I could go back right now and do everything different, I would, I would but I can’t” he paused for some seconds before continuing “What I can do, what I… will do, is tell you that a not a single day has gone by when I haven’t thought about you, of what I did to you, of what we were together, of what we had. I…I love you so much that it hurts, I love you and it burns a hole right through me, but I can’t live without it. I can’t live without you, I’m nothing without you. We… we have wasted far too much time already and I…I realised something, Anne. It’s you, it’s you, it’s always been you, you’re the one I want to spend my life with, and honestly, you deserve better but I can’t and I won’t be able to see you with someone else, I… I can’t let you go again, we need to be together, there is no other way for us to find peace, if we are condemned to burn, let’s burn together” 

“Oliver… I… I… don’t…”  
“Take this” he whispered keeping looking at her as he put a small object in her hands before squeezing them “Take it” 

In that moment Anne separated from him and looked at that object, recognising it.  
It was ring, his family ring, her engagement ring, the same right she had thrown at him when he had visited her cell the night before her execution. That night, the last night of her old life, that memory hurt her deeply. She had been hurt, desperate and shocked, back then she believed that Athos would have substitute her with a new wife, a wife that would have been approved by the rest of the nobility, maybe even that annoyed Catherine. She had thought he would have forget everything about her, she had thought he would have erased her from his memory and in a moment of rage she had thrown that ring to his face, swearing to him that no matter how many other girls would have worn it, she would have always have been his first wife, the wife he had condemned to death, the wife hadn’t saved. Then she had decided she wanted to punish him ao she had worn her wedding ring and held forget-me-nots during her execution. She had done that to make him pay, to make him remember about her, condemned to each other, until we are both dead, she had thought. But she was sure her engagement ring was gone for good, she had no idea he would have kept it for so many years and she didn’t understand why he was giving it to her in that moment “What? What are you… This is my engagement ring, what…”  
“Yes” he replied simply with a shy smile and that smile made her uncomfortable.

“Everyone get out!” she screamed at the help, remembering suddenly that they weren’t alone in that room.

Once they were finally left alone she spoke again, looking at the little sapphire on her engagement ring “So you kept it, I can’t believe that you kept it, you…”  
“I’ve never been good at letting go, you know that and…it belongs to you” he replied simply, still with his stupid, irritating shy smile. She used to love that smile but in that moment she hated him for that, she hated him for messing up with her, again “It belonged to your family, Athos, it belonged to the Countess de la Ferè, not me, not Anne”  
“It belongs to you, it will always belong to you” he whispered touching his pulse hesitantly  
But she took a step back “No, no… I don’t understand, this speech and then your family ring I…”  
“It’s yours, if you still want it” he replied hoping she would have heard ‘if you still want me’ but  
Anne shook her head “This isn’t mine, this belonged to me only when…” and then, suddenly, she realised something “Oh my God. Is this…a proposal?”  
“You may say so. It is, if you wish it to be” he replied nodding slightly  
“Oliver…” she whispered putting a hand on his head, surprising herself in that act of gentleness and intimacy “Do you know how fucked up this is?”  
“Is that a yes?” he asked hesitantly but Anne shook her head immediately and energetically “No, this is stand up, this is …I don’t know if, if… if you are the father of… I’m sorry but I don’t, I…”

He did as she had asked and looked at her in the eyes before speaking with a reassuring voice “Anne, calm, please, I don’t want you because of the baby, I want you because you are you. I want you because I love you!”  
“But…”  
“Anne, I don’t care if the child is biologically mine, listen, please. I love you and I’ll love the child, our child. If you let me” He took a breath looking at a speechless Anne before holding her hands and continuing “I’ll carry you two around the word, five years ago you asked me to leave with you to start again, now I ask you to do the same. Marry me and let me follow you around the world”  
But those words didn’t have the wished effect on Anne and she separated from him abruptly “Stop. Stop…You can’t do this to me, you can’t constantly play with me, don’t mess with my head and my heart like this if you don’t, don’t…You can’t do this, you can’t do this to me, again! You can’t, you…”  
“I’m not. I swear” he whispered caressing her cheek.  
“You swear? Really?” she replied with a nervous laugh and Athos felt a complete idiot, of course Anne couldn’t trust him about that, he had already made her so many promises, breaking all of them “Anne…I’m sorry” he said softly “I’m so…” but she interrupted him and with an annoyed tone she said “I know you are, you always are, but still…”  
“Anne, listen… You love me, you always did and always will, don’t fight that”  
“Look at the presumptuous…” she whispered with a furious tone but Athos didn’t let her finish “And I love you, and I’m here asking you to try again, because I believe we… we can be so happy together, you and me. You know we can, we have been already and…”  
“Oh so now it was real? Any of it?” she asked with a smirk and an angry tone, clearly mocking him  
“Anne…”  
“I thought Anne never existed in the first place” she replied gracing at him but Athos ignored that and went on “Anne…. Do you remember that day, when we were newly married and we took a trip to Chantilly and then we ate in that tavern and I then there was a storm and you were scared and I made a stupid joke about your fears. Do you remember that?”  
“Athos don’t…”  
“Do you?”  
“Athos…”  
“Then I realised I had made a mistake and I asked you if I had upset you, if I had made you unhappy. Do you remember that? Do you remember your answer?”  
“Don’t, don’t…” she begged him turning but Athos continued regardless “Do you remember that? What did you say?” he repeated touching her shoulder, forcing her to turn and face him.  
“Athos…” she whispered with a broken voice  
“What did you say?” he repeated again, with a resolute tone 

Anne closed her eyes for some seconds, trying to calm her down, but she couldn’t and the hurt caused from that memory hit her completely, then eventually she managed to speak again, remembering her words “I would only be unhappy if you ever stopped loving me”

Athos nodded feeling her hurt, then he asked her “And what did I say?”  
“Athos…”  
“What did I say?” he insisted “Do you remember that?”

“Paris would have to melt into the Seine first” Anne answered finding difficult not to melt into tears

Athos nodded “I meant that. I would have done anything for you, to… to make you happy”  
“I don’t want to do this, Athos, stop” she whispered desperately  
“I won’t, because you need to know, Anne, you need to know. I would have accepted your past, I would have loved you the same. Maybe I would have even loved you more, knowing what you had been through, what you had survived and…”  
“I know you mean this, now. But at the first problem you’ll run away screaming that I’m a… let’s see if I recall correctly… a liar… a murderer… a whore. You can’t do this, not matter how much you love me, you can’t”  
“You’re wrong, I want to, I…”  
“You want but you can’t, not completely” Anne said with a nervous smile “You’re weak, I always, always find the strength to…” Anne stopped herself before saying something she would have regretted “This a mess, this…”  
“Life is messy” he replied touching her cheek, leaning toward to meet her and for a moment she considered letting him do that, letting him kiss her, surrendering to those feelings, don’t fight them as Athos had said. But it was just a moment, then she found the courage to stop him “Life is messy, Really? You think I don’t know that?” she asked annoyed and Athos kept staring at her without saying a further word, giving her time to calm down, then unexpectedly Anne grabbed his elbow and lead him to her bed forcing him to sit on the edge of it, then she sat in the couch in front of him and spoke again with a furious tone “Fine, you want to do this? You won’t let ME give up on us? Ok, then I won’t let YOU skip passages”  
“What do you mean?” he asked confused  
“I mean… I mean… We can’t just… go on with our life and live happily ever after, we can’t” she replied exasperated but Athos looked at her speechless, without fully understanding her reasons “That’s what you wanted to do when you asked me to come to England with you, Anne. What’s changed?” he asked confused.

In that moment Anne shook her head “I was wrong, we need to do this. You need to do this and I need to know you won’t run again, so… ask me”  
“Ask you? Ask you what?”  
“Just ask what you want to know and I’ll try to be honest, about my past or… just ask me”  
“I… I don’t need to know anything, I just want you” he replied honestly  
But Anne had no intention of letting that go so easily “You want me…This is not a question, Athos”  
“I don’t want to do this” he exclaimed  
“Do you think I want?” she cried in response  
“Anne…”  
“I can’t live that again! I can’t be abandoned again, I can’t deal with your rage and disappointment again, I… Do it for me, please, do it because I need you to do that”  
“What should I…” he started hesitantly and in that moment Anne, as always, realised it had to be her to take the first step so she started speaking “The first time I told you I loved you it was a lie”  
“I suspected that” he replied apparently unimpressed and that calm surprised Anne.  
For a moment she wondered if this state of calm was because he still had doubts about the sincerity of her feelings during their marriage and she immediately felt the urge to reassure him “The first time I lied but only the first time, then I truly…”  
“I know, I believe you” he said trying to reassure her but Athos didn’t manage to do that and Anne instead got agitated, still worried that he could have had doubts about her reasons to stay married to him so she simply tried to explain herself, again “No, listen, please listen! I never intended to stay, Athos, and I had no idea you would have actually asked me to marry you, I thought… I thought I would have become your lover or… but you… you shocked me. Your kindness, your devotion… I couldn’t help but fall for you and I… shocked myself for that. What I’m trying to say is that I’ve faked so much less than you think, I…”

He nodded and then, without even realising words escaped his mouth and he asked her something “Our… our wedding night, you… trembled, I thought that was because…”  
She closed her eyes for a second, remembering the feelings od that night “Clearly I wasn’t a virgin, you know that, but the tremble was real, the… feelings, everything… it was real” she whispering staring at him  
“It was real? How…? What…?”  
“I… You were so… handsome and gentle and… sweet. I didn’t know, back then I didn’t know that… intimacy could have been so… pleasing and satisfying and… comforting and… I didn’t know that I could have had that, I just… I assumed that you would have been like any other man, I… I was so young and I had no idea, so yes, my tears, my insecurity, my… trembling, my happiness… It was real. It was all real”  
“I thought you had had faked everything” he whispered with a broken voice and Anne shook her head “I didn’t, I loved you already, even if I didn’t know…”  
“I loved you from the start” he said honestly and Anne knew it was true. She had always known.  
“I know” she whispered “I… never intended to fall for you. I wanted… I wanted to steal as much as I could and then run away to start a new life, but I couldn’t, I didn’t want to… I couldn’t loose you so I gave up. I… surrendered to what I was feeling… to you, to us and I stayed”

He nodded, feeling a strange sense of relief in those words so he decided to give her something too “Anne, I won’t say I’m sorry, you know I am, what I’ll say is that… I’m not doubting you again, never again and you, in return, shouldn’t doubt yourself” he whispered softly and she looked at him perplexed so he continued “But I’m not the only one that needs to have this talk” and after a pause he continued “Ask me what you need to know, too”  
“No, no” she whispered looking away, feeling lost and impotent and he saw that and felt suddenly sad and disappointed. Anne was asking him to expose himself, to try again, to face his fears and his doubts but she was not willing to do the same. She was scared and he could see that and he knew that she was right, he knew that she had always been the courageous one between them so he took big breath before speaking again “Anne…” he whispered softly “Anne….I want you, I love you. I want to start again, I want to know you again, I want us to be a family. Just… tell me what you… need, whatever it is I’ll do it”

Hearing those words she needed so desperately to hear made her tremble, so she closed her eyes for some seconds in order to calm herself down. Eventually she found the strength to say what she wanted to “I… I just need to know you’ll be there, to know that you won’t ever leave…”  
Athos nodded severe, realising suddenly something “You say I never believe you, but it’s mutual isn’t it?”  
“Athos…”  
“Listen, please. Nothing and no-one will come between us this time, my love, I promise”  
“I can’t believe you on this, you know that” she said shacking her head and he nodded in return before replying “I know you can’t, not now. But you will, I know you will. Don’t… don’t answer to my question if you don’t want to, but keep that ring as my new promise to you, the promise I’ll earn your trust, Anne.”  
She looked at that ring for some instants, the color of the sapphire reminded her of forget-me-nots and without realising she was, she answered him “I would like that” 

“You would?” he asked surprised and full of hope, with his shy smile and his puppy face and Anne had no intention of resisting to that face anymore so she smiled wearing that ring before replying “I would”  
“Anne…” he said moving towards her but she stopped him “I would like that but I’m not alone now, not anymore” she whispered looking away and Athos smiled at her. She looked so young and insecure “I know, Anne” he replied trying to calm her down but she continued talking regardless  
“I…I can’t think only about me…”  
“I know” he repeated smiling but still she wasn’t fully convinced “Are you sure you are ready? To… be a father… To have a family?”  
“I am, I love you and I can’t wait to meet our child”  
“Really?” she asked feeling a wave of hope in her chest “Really” he repeated firmly “Really”  
“Where is our child now? What did you had? How…?” he asked hyper and Anne smiled at such an excitement so she waited some seconds before whispering “What do you want?”  
“I don’t care, either way, I just want you and the baby to be fine, I will love both a boy and a girl” he said secure “A girl” she repeated “Would you like a girl?” she asked with a huge smile, biting her lips for some instants. She was so beautiful, Athos had never seen a more beautiful woman, her green eyes had a light that he used to know so well and he had missed that. After some seconds he smiled kindly and full of joy “We have a daughter… a little Anne” he whispered imagining how beautiful his wife’s daughter could have been but Anne laughed shaking her head “No, we don’t have a daughter”  
“A boy is fine too”  
“We don’t have a boy” she repeated almost amused of that situation and he looked at her for a while, hesitant “I…I don’t understand” he replied, genuinely confused and Anne laughed in return “I said we don’t have a daughter and we don’t. We don’t have a daughter, we have two daughters”  
“Two”  
“Twins”  
“Twins”  
“Yes. Twins. Now breath”  
“Twins” he repeated once again “Are you sure?”  
“I’m pretty sure, I delivered them” she replied laughing  
“Two little Anne, two…”  
“You’re slow sometimes, you know” she replied smirking  
“and you…you are so beautiful and I love you and…” he whispered moving towards her but once again she stopped him “Oliver…”  
“What is it?” he asked worried

“Paris would have to melt into the Seine first” she whispered looking at him in the eyes

And he nodded “I meant that. I… I still mean that”  
“I feel the same” she whispered firmly but in the sweetest tone ever  
“Anne…”  
“Don’t add anything else, you would ruin the moment”

Athos nodded suddenly overwhelmed by that unexpected declaration and then he took a step towards her, suddenly feeling clumsy and awkward, his wife’s eyes were looking at him waiting for something but he had no idea of what he was doing, then suddenly his hands reached her face, cupping it gently. His fingers could feel Anne’s slight tremor and he slowly leaned in and kissed her. It was a strange kiss, so soft, so careful, so chaste, a brush of his lips against each other, the kind of kiss they shared at the beginning, during their courtship, when they barley knew each other.

She had almost forgot that he could kiss her like that, he had not kissed her in that way in ages and yet now he was doing it again. 

It was a promise, it was a commitment.  
He was there and he was trying again, they were trying again. 

When they finally separated, Anne realised there were tears in her eyes and she cursed herself immediately for showing such a weakness and looked away, avoiding his gaze.

“Do you want me to stop?” he asked hesitantly and so she turned, meeting her husband’s beautiful eyes that were staring at him, guilty. Then she smiled “No, Athos, no, never but now you should call for your boys”  
“My boys?” he asked confused and she smirked satisfied in return, amused “Someone must carry my things into your lodgings”  
“What do you mean?”  
“You’re really slow, aren’t you? I’m… we, we are moving in, I think it’s pretty obvious”  
“Oh my God” he whispered finally realising what her plan was “I love you so much, I…”  
“Stop saying that, I may actually believe you” Anne warned him, with a mockery tone but he replied with the most serious tone “I want you to believe that because it’s true. But you don’t have to do move in with me if you don’t want to. If you want to leave, I’m happy to leave, to leave with you and the girls…”  
“Would you do that? Would you leave the Musketeers, your position and everything for… me?”  
“Don’t you know it by now?” he whispered caressing her face  
“Oliver…”  
“I would, gladly”

Anne nodded relieved “Thank you” she whispered hugging him “Thank you but it won’t be necessary”  
Athos separated from that hug, then still having her closer and looking at her in the eyes he whispered “Are you sure…you…You wanted to leave, you wanted to start again” he said moving her hair caressing her forehead “We can start again here” she replied caressing his cheek “I love this city and you love your job and… France is our home and… everyone will soon forget about the mistress of the former King and… we can try again, together”  
“Together” he repeated coming closer, their foreheads touching each other gently and she gave him a sincere smile, a beautiful small sincere smile “That’s the only thing that matter to me”  
“To me too” he replied loosing himself in her eyes for a while, her green eyes, he had always loved those eyes, then he wondered wether their daughters would have had the same eyes and so he asked “Where are they now? Our girls…”  
“Out with Elizabeth, I was a mess, I needed to have a bath but they’ll be back soon”  
“I’m sure you weren’t a mess” he replied with a stupid sexy smirk  
“Oh, please can you just stop with this charming tone?” she replied laughing  
“I can’t, you have no idea how beautiful you are Anne” he whispered leaving a kiss on her nose, so  
she smiled separating slightly “I love you, too Oliver” then she touched her ring gently “and I’m keeping this, as a promise, a promise that I’ll try”  
“We’re going to make it, I promise”  
“I hope that”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The quotes "I would only be unhappy if you ever stopped loving me" and "Paris would have to melt into the Seine first" are taken from "The Tudors" (the original version was "London would have to melt into the Thames first") and are an homage to Anne and Henry one of my favourite couples, as doomed as Milathos


	12. The good girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything ends in tragedy, even an epic love story like yours (cit.)

I should have known better, Anne thought bitterly, looking at her estranged husband as he was leaving, this time for good. She had no idea why she had allowed herself to think that they would have solved everything out, that they would have been happy and at peace. She had no idea why she had allowed herself to think that he would have had the strength to love her, despite everything that had happened between them. It dream, a nice, reassuring, beautiful dream but just a dream and she should have known, because he was a coward, he had always been a coward and he had proved to be one once again, and yet he seemed so happy in that moment. Happy, without her, happy with someone else, happy, with that… girl. The right girl. The good girl. He seemed happy and all his friends were happy, too and they approved, because that girl was… good and kind and gentle. That girl was everything Anne would have never have been again and he was leaving with her, Sylvie, the girl who had appeared from nowhere and stolen her husband from her, the woman with whom he shared his bed now. The only thought of that disgusted her, the image of the two of them happy, with a bright future ahed them, children, serenity, stability, peace… She had taken everything from her, everything she had thought she could have had again and that caused her a pain in the chest, a constant, terrible, deep pain.

I should have killed her when I had the chance, she thought as from her balcony she saw Athos kissing that stupid girl. I should have killed her with no remorse, simply, discreetly, violently. She should have suffered, like I’ve suffered, she thought in a moment of fury. Milady imagined killing her and the pleasure she felt in imaging it made her smile for the first time that day. Then she closed her eyes for some seconds, hesitant and disgusted because she knew. In that moment she knew, she knew she would have let them run away together, happily into the sunshine and she would have stayed behind, alone and miserable until her last day. Unloved, unworthy, unworthy of being loved, alone. She felt on her knees, sobbing desperate as the happy couple was leaving Paris. He doesn’t care about me, he never did, Milady thought, he would be happy to know that I’m dead, so he could actually marry the good girl and maybe he will either way because as he had kindly reminded me, Anne de Breuil is legally dead either way, so he can do whatever he wants, with whomever he wants.

She should kill herself, she realised suddenly, no one would have missed her anyway and her only love, her one true love, would have been relieved to know that she was gone, maybe it would have been the better option, Milady thought again looking at the blade she was holding. To die, to end her suffering, it didn’t seem a bad option after all. What would her future have been anyway? Killer for the Queen for a while, then what? Killed during a mission if fortunate, but probably she would have survived, mutilated but alive, she was a survival after all. And then what? She would have gone back to being a poor slut, forced to prostitution, forced to accept every old and lurid client, forced to accept every form of violence against her just to eat one more meal, to live one more year, but would it have been worthy? The answer was simple and it was no. She had nothing left to live for and a blade in the chest seemed an attractive option, especially considering the life she would have had if…, then a voice unlocked something in her, “you can’t let him win, he can’t win” so she dried her tears and disappeared into her house, she would have lived, she would have survived. Then she heard a voice calling her “Anne…” “Anne…” “Anne…” and after some seconds that voice’s intensity grew “Anne, Anne! Wake up, you need to wake up”

And then she suddenly opened her eyes, standing up abruptly and with shortness of breath, confused and disorientated “It’s ok, I’m here” the voice said and she recognised it as the voice belonging to Athos, her husband so she turned suddenly, seeing him next to her.  
“Oliver” she whispered relief, recognising suddenly their bedroom “You’re here” she continued, touching his shoulder “You’re real” she whispered, then her hands reached his face, cupping it gently but with a slight tremor, after that he nodded at her smiling, overwhelmed from that tender gesture “Are you ok?” he whispered gently moving a lock of hair behind her ear. “Anne…?”  
“Yes, yes I’m ok” she replied turning “Go back to sleep, Ollie. It was just a stupid dream”  
He took a big breath before touching the edge of his shoulder and started caressing her, tracing her back gently “Yeah, I figured it out. It seemed bad, do you wanna talk about it?”  
“Nope”  
“You sure?” he said hugging her tight and kissing her neck sweetly  
“It was stupid” she whispered closing her eyes “Just a stupid dream. Forget about it”  
“I would, but you can’t” he whispered with a serious tone, still holding her “Tell me about it. It gets always better when you talk about it, you know it” then he paused for some seconds, hesitant “You know you can tell me anything, don’t you?”  
Anne turned, meeting his worried eyes, their noses almost touching each other and her heavy breaths melted in his “I dreamed about… I came after the war, a year after your return and when you saw me, you kissed me” she said with a slight tremor in her voice  
He couldn’t help but laugh slightly “This really sounds like a nightmare” he whispered leaving a small kiss on her forehead trying to calm her but it didn’t work and Anne continued her story “You kissed me and then you chocked me”

Hearing those words made him stop suddenly, the chocking had always been a delicate subject between them, since both of them from time to time had tormenting dreams about Anne’s trial and execution and her still visible scar was something that, despite their better efforts, still managed to embarrass both of them sometimes. He stared at her for some seconds loosing himself in those green eyes, they seemed so small and lost and afraid, she stood there rigid and cold and Athos sustaining her insistent gaze whispered kindly and sincerely “I would never do that”  
She nodded in return, before replying with a soft voice “I know, I’m sorry” and she was, she really was because they were supposed to never doubt each other again, they had promised that to each other and they had both tried so hard to keep that promise in those four years they had spent living together, being together, raising their children together. He took a big breath, knowing that the only way she had to go over those dreams was to talk about it and to realise that they were only dreams, nightmares, not reality, even if she hated to discuss them as she hated to show any kind of weakness, even to him, especially to him.

“Why did I do that?” he asked taking her by surprise  
Anne didn’t want to answer to that, at first at least, but then those words escaped her mouth “You… You thought I had something to do with your girlfriend’s disappearance”  
“My what?” he cried out almost in a state of shock, in which universe he would have chosen another over his wife? The only idea was… unbearable.  
“Your girlfriend, Sylvie” she replied avoiding his gaze, still feeling the pain that the image of her husband leaving with his stupid mistress, had caused her and that dream still seemed so real. To her at least, but not to Athos “That’s absurd” he replied shocked and Anne faked a smile in return, trying not to show how much that stupid dream had destabilised her “I was… desperate, with no money, no friends and… and I was forced to go back to my old life. I became the Queen’s assassin because that was the only thing that seemed…fit to me, the only use France could have ever had for me and I… I hated myself, while you… you and your girlfriend were so… happy and madly in love. I was your old, childish, tormented love and she was… she was your one true love and everyone liked her, especially Aramis, she was so… good and… me…”  
“Ok, stop with this craziness” he replied with a serious scandalised tone and his upset expression made Anne laughed softly “I wish I could but I have this clear image of you two in bed together, and you two were into bondage by the way and…”  
Athos silenced her putting a finger on her lips “Anne, my love, it was a dream, a very bad one but just a dream. I would never be with some else” he paused for some seconds noticing her muscles relaxing and smiled at her “I’ve never…never been with someone else, never wanted to, you know that, you know you were…”  
“I know” she whispered closing her eyes, smiling softly “I know…”  
Athos looked at her, Anne seemed still worried and upset and he needed to make things right “Have I done something else? Something… worse?” he asked hesitantly  
“You defied the King’s orders, for her, to save her…” Anne replied automatically, with a neutral tone  
“Me?” he asked surprised and Anne nodded in return “Oh yeah, and you got her pregnant, too. You barley knew her but you got her pregnant and you were happy about it… you were… excited and didn’t care about me anymore”  
“Ok Anne, enough” he replied serious leaving a quick kiss on her forehead before standing up and leaving “What are you doing? Why are you standing up? What…?” she asked genuinely confused “I’m locking the door” he replied calmly, before turning slowly, meeting his wife’s amused gaze, then she smirked “I see… Can I ask why?”

He nodded coming closer, reaching their bed before jumping on it and Anne laughed softly, he seemed so young, careless, free, they both seemed. She was laughing and a moment later Athos was above her kissing her neck, while at the same time fondling her boobs and she was laughing even harder as she found a grip on his shoulders. After that he bit her ear and in return she tasted his abdomen, willing to get rid of his clothes as soon as possible but he had a different plan. Athos separated from her leading her hands back on the mattress before leaning on her ear, whispering kindly “You want to know why I’ve locked the door, my love? I did that because I’ve just decided that I’ll make you forget everything about this… Suzi”  
“Sylvie” she corrected him, annoyed, looking away disgusted and Athos grumbled “Yeah, either way, who cares” and after that he lifted her nightgown and started kissing her breast, before going down and down, so Anne grabbed his head before asking “What…? What are you doing?”  
“I’m making you forget everything” he whispered before leaving a kiss on her navel “Trust me, my love, when I’ll be over you won’t even remember your own name”  
“Which one, precisely?” Anne asked laughing amused from that whole situation and Athos answered with a smutty expression on his face “I’ll make you forget every name you have ever used, for a month, a year, a day, a night, or for some hours… everything”  
“You’re are always so presum…” she complained but she never managed to finish that sentence since a wave of strong pleasure assaulted her and she trembled finding her only grip on the sheets. 

40 minutes later Anne was smiling softly, staring at the canopy, naked under the sheets she was holding with a tight grip. She closed her eyes for a moment, appreciating the perfection of that instant “That was… Wow” she whispered honestly, with a soft, gentle, small smile.  
“Told you, Anne” he replied simply staring at her, she was so beautiful and she had no idea. In those quite moments of happiness all the pain she had felt in her life seemed slipped away and replaced by serenity and… happiness, she really looks happy, Athos thought relieved, then she turned meeting her husband’s eyes, before whispering in her most confused tone “Who’s Anne?”

The two of them stared at each other for some seconds before starting laughing and only after that she looked at him, really looked at him. To see him smiling or even laughing was so beautiful and so rare, in those moments he seemed so young and Anne felt as if time hadn’t passed and somehow she knew, it hadn’t. Despite all the pain they had caused and all the effort they had put to kill and destroy each other, against the common sense and their better instincts, they still loved each other, the young Oliver and Anne were still there somehow, and being together again it was beautiful, even better than it had been the first time. Oliver and Anne had loved each other, that’s for sure but Athos and Milady… they worked even better, they constantly pushed each other’s buttons and they really… liked that and no-one could understand them but it didn’t matter because they… they were able to see each other for who they really were and that was the important, meaningful thing. It’s a constant game, she thought, but it’s the best game that I could ever have wished for.

“Come here” she whispered inviting him to reach her and he moved closer, reaching for his lips but when they were about to kiss a loud voice interrupted them “Mommy” “And time’s over” Anne whispered closing her eyes separating from him “Mommy!” the girl repeated annoyed and Anne laughed softly putting her nightgown on again before whispering to Athos “She’s impatient as you are” then she turned towards the door, screaming to her child “Don’t worry Lennie I’m coming” and she stood up but not before giving her husband an ultimate order “and you…you wait here, right here. Naked” and he smirked in return, amused “As you wish wife”

Half an hour later Anne came back to their room and locked the door once again before reaching the bed where her husband was sleeping and she hugged him, wrapping her arms around his neck, before starting tasting his abdomen leaving kisses on his shoulders.

He smiled, appreciating that moment, then he stopped her, turning, meeting her confused eyes “Everything alright?” he asked serious and for a moment she didn’t understand, then she realised what he was meaning, so she answered “Yes, Jamie had a nightmare and woke up Lennie, so Lennie proposed to share the bed, to make sure that Jamie wouldn’t have been afraid but Jamie couldn’t stop trembling so they decided to call me to be sure that no monster would have kidnapped them” she breathed in “Just a little drama, nothing serious”

He nodded looking at her in silence and Anne felt suddenly guilty about her nightmare “I’m sorry about… It wasn’t mistrust”  
“We don’t have to talk about this. Forget it” he replied caressing her head gently, but she shook her head energetically before replying “No, no” then she hugged him, but he stayed there, without responding to that gentle touch, so Anne continued, calm and sweet, looking at him in the eyes “I know you’re in this, I know you care. I know… you love us. I’ve seen it, I’m not questioning you, it was just a dream”  
“A dream that managed to upset you, Anne” he replied tough, avoiding her gaze but Anne grabbed his jaw, forcing him to look at her “Yes, but you managed to make me forget everything, didn’t you?”

He nodded, relaxed for some seconds, then he whispered hesitantly “Anne… are you still insecure about me?” and his wife smiled softly to his shyness and insecurity before shacking her head once again “No, no” and before going further she put a hand on his chest, gentle and reassuring “We, we are a family, we love each other, we trust each other, don’t you see it, Oliver? We have come so far” and it was true, Anne thought, they had actually came so far, so far from when they were constantly trying to kill each other, or from when they constantly hurt each other. Somehow against the odds, they had found a point of equilibrium and she was so proud of that “Don’t let some insecurities come between us, ok?” she begged him with an innocent, excited expression and Athos felt overwhelmed from that so he leaned on her and kissed her, smiling against her lips “Ok” he whispered between kisses “Ok” and then in a moment he found himself handcuffed to the headboard.

“Anne…What’s the meaning of this?” he asked half shocked, half amused  
“I think you know it” she replied, whispering, with a smutty expression, caressing his face  
“Anne…” he protested but she silenced him with a finger on his mouth and after that she left a kiss on his abdomen before whispering “It’s just an insurance, my love, so you’ll remember who the best at bondage is”  
He laughed softly “Are you serious? Really?”  
“Yep!” Anne replied visibly excited, as she started caressing his chest  
“Anne, please, you don’t have to…”  
“Would you mind stop talking?” she whispered laughing  
“Anne…”  
“Shut up!” she said hitting him exasperated  
“Make me” he replied with a smutty expression and she obeyed.

A couple of hours later Anne was dressing up, when Athos, still handcuffed genuinely asked her “Would you consider to free me now?” and she laughed softly before turning and meeting his eyes “I should, shouldn’t I? Since we both need to leave this room…”  
“So would you?” he asked, half amused, half exasperated “No” she simply replied smiling  
“Anne…” he whispered sweetly but she kept ignoring him so he called for her another time, this time with a more nervous tone “Anne!”

A moment after she turned and reached him with an exasperating slowness and an amused smile on her lips. She is so beautiful, Athos thought, the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known, her smile is so hypnotic and… but she interrupted his thoughts “I go to wake up the girls” she whispered looking at him in the eyes, their noses almost touching each other, their eyes still desiring each other “You’re not really leaving me here naked and captive…” he replied, trying to free himself from her handcuffs but the only thing he obtained was Anne’s amused laughed “Oh Captain, I have faith that you’ll manage to free yourself in… maximum 15 minutes. I’ll wait you downstair” she whispered leaving a small kiss on his forehead before leaving the room, but not before hearing him screaming “Anne! Please! Not again! Seriously?” and she almost laughed replying “I love you too!”

Some minutes later Anne was looking at her girls having breakfast.  
The twins seemed so… happy and serene, they were having the carefree childhood she had never had and she was so relieved for that. They were happy and loved, so much loved… sometimes she surprised herself for how deep her feelings for them were, she had no idea it was even possible to love like that and to be loved like that. Jamie and Lennie were her whole world, she would have been willing to give up on everything for them to be happy and safe. The first time she had seen their eyes, so similar to hers, she had felt the urge to make sure they wouldn’t have ever known the meaning of the word pain, or anger, or sadness. Her husband often told her that she was overprotective and it was probably true, but he had grown up son of a Comte with the world at his feet and everyone willing to serve him and to obey to his every oder, he had no idea what it meant to grow up poor, always hungry, always worried, always scared. That was something she could not properly go over.

But her daughters weren’t born in the streets of London, they definitely weren’t poor and they had two parents that loved them above anything else and they were healthy, everything was good, she thought, everything was going good, the greatest problem her girls had was fighting over toys. 

Then, suddenly she heard a hard knocking at the door and she got alarmed, someone visiting her house so early was quite unusual so she warned the twins to stay quite and reached the main door. Once she was there she used the spy-hole to check who the unexpected guest was and the moment she realised who she was opened the door immediately.

“Elodie? What are you doing here?” she asked genuinely surprised and the other woman looked at her with a strange, terrified gaze, a gaze she used to know very well but that she hadn’t seen in years “I… I need to talk, Anne” she replied with a trembling voice and Anne nodded, almost scared and let her in.


	13. Stable

“Elodie? What are you doing here?” she asked genuinely surprised and the other woman looked at her with a strange, terrified gaze, a gaze she used to know very well but that she hadn’t seen in ages “I… I need to talk, Anne” Elodie replied with a trembling voice and Anne nodded, almost scared and let her in.

The woman entered abruptly and Anne soon realised that she seemed… uncomfortable, really uncomfortable, which was strange considering that she had been at her house millions time over the years, at the most unexpected hours. Her movements, her voice, her gaze, all suggested that something had happened, something bad, definitely bad.

“Auntie!” Jamie exclaimed excited, running into them to hug Elodie tight. Right behind them there was Lennie who was showing the same enthusiasm her sister was “Why are you here auntie? Where is Marie-Cezette?” the girl exclaimed curious, looking around in search of her friend.  
In that moment Elodie forced a smile, trying to hide to the girl how she was truly feeling “I…I…” she started hesitantly and Anne helped her immediately, scolding them “Let her breath girls!”  
“But…” Lennie started polemical, but her mother stopped her right there “No buts, babies, go in your room and play”  
“Mom!” the both cried simultaneously and Anne smiled, realising she had been too hash on them, so with a softer tone she said “I’ll send your Dad in a few minutes, now go to your room, please”  
“We need to clear the table, first… why are you sending us away?” Jamie replied, with a serious preoccupied look and in that moment Lennie realised that her sister was right, their mother was behaving was… odd, so she got worried, scared that something bad may have actually happened “Is everything alright, Mom?” she asked preoccupied. Seeing their worried faces made Anne feel guilty “Of course” she whispered nodding kindly “Everything is alright, just adults things, nothing you need to worry about, go to play, ok? I’ll send Dad, I promise”  
“Mom…”  
“I’m serious there is nothing you should worry about, ok? Go in your room, Dad will be there soon, go”

Lennie nodded understanding and took her sister’s hand before disappearing. Only once the girls were both far away Anne turned meeting Elodie’s eyes, staring at her preoccupied for some seconds before whispering calmly “Whatever it is, tell me” but the other woman stared at her hesitant, without finding the right words, so Anne insisted “What’s wrong?” but Elodie still seemed uncomfortable and reticent, so she decided to drop the subject, for the moment at least. Elodie stared at her for a while, without speaking, but after some seconds she found the courage to speak again “Where… where is Athos?” she asked, genuinely curious and Anne smiled feeling slightly guilty “He’s…he’s in bed” she whispered smirking at her friend but Elodie didn’t understand straight away, so she stared at her confused “Is he… ok?”  
“Oh yes” Anne replied laughing “He’s never been better” and in that moment Elodie laughed too, relaxing for the first time that day “I see… So why is he not here now?” she asked amused and Anne smiled again before whispering “He might be a little…tied”  
“You mean tired” Elodie corrected her, without realising that her friend had meant every word   
“I’m afraid not…” Anne replied almost satisfied, thinking back at the previous night.  
“Again? Really? You are crazy” Elodie replied serious, but at the same time slightly jealous.

Everyone was jealous of them.

The way they were constantly teasing each other, or smiling at each other, or holding each other gently, staring at each other for an eternity, making the time stop around them… It had happened, often, and yet it still made everyone else feel uncomfortable, even if the happy couple didn’t realise that most of the time.

“I’m not! I’m making him a favour, ok? He’s the Captain of the King’s Musketeers he needs to learn how to handle these kind of situations” Anne replied in almost a serious tone, but in that moment, unexpectedly Athos arrived from behind them and in a second he was hugging her, leaving a small, sweet kiss on her neck and Anne smiled, turning towards him, breathing in, smelling his scent with closed eyes. That’s what I was referring about, Elodie thought, these kind of moments are definitively too passionate, too emotional, too intimate.

“I am capable” he replied smiling caressing her cheek kindly “10 minutes this time”  
“Oh you improved” she replied meeting his eyes   
“I always improve” he whispered smirking   
“I know you do. In everything” she replied licking her lips, clearly inviting him to reach her lips and he did, leaning on her to share a quick kiss, delicate, intimate kiss.

After some seconds Athos remembered that they were not alone there “Hello Elodie” he said a little embarrassed “What are you doing here so early? Is there any problem?”  
But Anne knew that Elodie probably didn’t want him around so she send him away, gently “Athos, please go to girls’s room, now”  
“I…”  
“Now Athos” she repeated with a secure tone and he nodded understanding her silent order so after a last gaze he left in silence.

Only once he had disappeared Anne dared to confront her again “Hey…” she started hesitantly “Tell me what’s going on, I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s going on” she continued with a reassuring kind tone and in that moment her friend managed to open up for the first time that day “You… you can’t help me. No-one can. He… he kicked me out”  
Anne looked at her confused for some seconds before exclaiming “Porthos? I…I can’t believe that”  
and Elodie nodded nervously before replying “We…we had a huge fight and…he said…” she paused for some seconds, uncertain about what to say, how to explain what had happened, still feeling hurt by their previous night argument’s “He said he couldn’t bear to live under the same roof with me so… I left”  
“He didn’t kicked you out, you run from a fight, I’m sure that if you…”  
But her friend stopped her, using a pleading tone and whispering a name she wasn’t expecting to hear, not anymore at least “Clarisse…” and hearing that name and that tone again made Anne worry, seriously “It’s really bad this time, isn’t it? What’s the problem?” she asked preoccupied and Elodie nodded slightly before continuing “He… found out the truth”  
“What do you mean the truth?” Anne replied without understanding   
“The truth” her friend simply replied “The truth”

“Oh God” Anne whispered looking away “Marie…”  
“You had warned me” the other woman replied looking away desperate, trying to hold tears back.  
“You had said that…” but Elodie didn’t managed to complete that sentence and in that moment Anne’s hand reached hers and her friend squeeze them tight before whispering “I’m so so sorry” then after a pause she asked hesitantly “How… how did that happen?”  
“I… We… run into someone”  
“Who?” Anne asked feeling suddenly nervous at the idea of running into someone Marie and herself used to know. Anyone. She had almost managed to forget about that time of their life, and Elodie had done the same, she knew that. Forget was their only option and no-one should have dared to put in between that. Anne took her time to look at her dear friend and realised Elodie didn’t seem just upset, she seemed… devastated, so Anne couldn’t help but ask her again “Who? Who was…? What…”  
“Don’t ask me…” Elodie replied looking away and Anne felt the urge to reassure her “Ok…ok. I won’t, you have my word”

The two of them stood in silence for some seconds, both drowning into painful memories.   
Then Elodie spoke again, with a soft feeble voice “He won’t talk to me, ever again”  
“You’re exaggerating, I’m sure, now you…”  
“I’m not. He was so… hurt and disgusted” she paused for some instances before continuing “The truth about me… disgusted him. I’ve seen it”  
“I’m sorry” Anne replied.

She wanted to reassure her, she wanted to tell her that her husband would have understood that, eventually, but the truth was that she still remembered far too well the moment when HER husband had found out the truth about HER past, the moment he had lost faith in her, the moment his love for her, that seemed so strong and unstoppable… had disappeared.

That moment had broken her and she remembered it far too well and…   
But her thoughts were stopped from her friend’s broken voice, her friend that was finally letting tears out “What I’ll do now?” In a second Anne reached her and hugged her tight “Shhh… Don’t worry, we’ll figure everything out, everything will be alright, I promise” after a pause she continued, looking at Elodie in the eyes “When did it happen?”  
“Last night”  
“Why didn’t you come as soon as it happened?”  
“I… I needed some time to think”  
“Have you slept at all?”  
“No”  
“Ok… Now we go to the guest room”  
“No, I…”  
“You need to sleep. We’ll think about everything later”

Even if Elodie resisted for a while, eventually she fall asleep in Anne’s arms, crying silently and some minutes later Anne left her guest room to find her husband and discuss with him how to handle their friends’s matrimonial drama.

As she reached the entrance of her girl’s room she decided to stay there for a while, admiring her little beautiful family.

“When I’m grown up I want to be the Captain, as Daddy, I want everyone to follow my orders” Lennie exclaimed, while at the same time playing with a wooden sword with her sister.  
Jamie smirked before replying “If you want everyone to follow your orders you should become a princess” she paused for some seconds, reflecting upon it “The princess”  
“I don’t want to be a princess, I want to be a warrior!” Lennie exclaimed disarming her twin with a simple move, before turning towards Athos “Can I be a warrior, Papa?”  
“No, listen to your sister, being a princess is safer and brings more advantages” he replied amused  
“I don’t want to be a princess, being a princess is boring” Lennie continued “I want to be… I want to be like Mama!”  
“What do you mean?” Athos said confused   
“She’s sassy” Lennie replied serious and Athos looked at her almost offended “I’m sassy!”  
“No Daddy you’re not sassy! You’re a puppy” Jamie replied laughing and in that moment Lennie laughed too.  
“You little pests!” Athos screamed grabbing Jamie, holding her in hostage before saying with an almost serious tone “Jamie d’Athos, Contessina de la Ferè I forbid you to speak to me like that, if you’ll do it again, there will be severe consequences” after that Athos smiled kissing gently the forehead of one of his daughters, without realising that the other one was already preparing to challenge him “I, Eleanor d’Athos, Contessina de la Ferè, forbid you, Father, to keep my sister in hostage and demand a trial by combat to free her”  
“You do?” he asked surprised and amused   
“I do!” the girl replied attacking him with her sword and in a second he let the other girl go laughing “I surrender! I surrender please! Spare me, spare me milady!”

They are perfect, Anne thought grateful, they are my perfect precious little family and I have no idea what I did to deserve them. In that moment Jamie noticed her and run into her arms “Mom!” and a second later also Lennie was hugging her tight “I defied Dad and I won, like you Mom!”, her daughters’s enthusiasm made Anne feel overwhelmed and thankful, really thankful, they were the best things that had ever happened to her and she knew it and seeing them happy was…everything she wanted.

“I know, I’ve seen it and I’m proud of you” she whispered to Lennie, then she looked at both her girls “Now I have to speak to your father, will you behave good in my absence?” and both of them nodded in return. After that Anne smiled at them “Good girls” and only later she moved in Athos’s direction and took his hand, leading him out of the room silently. That gesture was so sweet, and gentle, and… intimate. Athos still managed to surprise himself when, always more often he had to admit, his wife showed that kind of softness to him.

Only once they were distant enough she talked to him “You’ve been defeated” she whispered amused   
“I have. Our daughter is a fury” he replied smiling at her.  
“My daughters are both strong and fearless” Anne replied fierce and proud and Athos nodded, smiling at her, trying to stop the impulse to lean on her and kiss her, so he talked instead “What’s happened to Elodie? Something’s wrong?”  
“She and Porthos had fight. A huge fight”  
“How huge?” Athos asked preoccupied   
“He… he has found out the truth about her past” Anne whispered reluctant and after a moment Athos repeated doubtful “The truth” and Anne looked away feeling somehow guilty for having keept that secret from him and Athos realise that “Four years ago… Four years ago I asked you how Elodie could have known so much about us and you said I didn’t want to know, you said… you said that knowing that would have put me in a difficult situation with my best friend and I never asked any further” he paused for some seconds, before continuing “Would you mind to share now?” and Anne nodded, looking at him in the eyes before continuing “When… when I first met Elodie her name was Marie, she was… one of Sarazin’s protégées”

“Wow” he exclaimed surprised “That was…” he started, trying to recall… but Anne stopped him, bitter “You know when it was, Athos”

He understood too soon that he had made a mistake in approaching her like that, Anne was a good person, a person who was constantly trying to forget everything about the wrongs (and the relative consequences) he had done to her in the past and yet at the same time, from time to time, she couldn’t hide the pain he had caused her and the hurt, desperate woman she had once been. Despite everything, from time to time Milady de Winter still emerged and Athos had to try to be the kindest and sweetest husband ever in order to calm her “Anne…” he whispered kindly caressing her cheek but Anne stopped him abruptly “This is not about me or us” and she separated from him but Athos took her hands, whispering again “Anne…”

But she hadn’t calmed down, not at all, not one bit, so she continued, a fury as her daughter   
“No! I mean it, this is not about you and me, this is not about our history, this is not about trust. I trust you, I trust you, that means more to me than i love you, do you understand?”  
“Anne…” he tried again, without success, since his anxious wife stopped him once again “I was keeping her secret, it was not my place or yours to tell him” she whispered honestly and Athos nodded trying to reassure her “I know Anne, I understand”  
Those words managed to stop her “You do?” she asked surprised and he nodded in return hugging her tight “I do”

“Are you mad?” she asked some seconds later still hesitant   
“No” he replied secure caressing her head gently.  
“Do you love me still?” she whispered holding him closer “I do. Always” he replied kindly and secure, but Anne still wasn’t fully convinced “Do you trust me?” and he smiled, again “I’ll never doubt you, I promised you that” and in that moment Anne finally found the strength to separate from him and smirked before whispering “Good, it’s nice to know that you can keep your promises from time to time”

Athos smiled at her, before turning serious “What do we do now?”  
“Where do you think he is?”  
“I… I don’t know. At the Garrison, probably, he should be on duty this morning” Athos replied reflective “And the child?”  
“Marie Cezette should be… at Constance’s place” Anne seemed to recall  
“So what do we do?” Athos asked nervous and Anne reflected upon that for some seconds before saying “You… you are going to talk to him, right now, and I… I’ll bring our girls to Constance as well and then I’ll return here and take care of Elodie”  
“Makes sense” he replied nodding  
“We need to make this right”  
“I know”  
“We love them and we own them so much”  
“I know, we are going to make this right, I promise”  
“Go” she replied “and good luck” she said leaving a caress on his cheek before leaving the room but she didn’t manage to move “Anne…” he started hesitantly grabbing her arm “Yes?” she replied without understanding and after a second he explained himself “Anne… Do you realise that WE, WE are the stable ones now?”  
“It seems unbelievable, doesn’t it?” she said laughing   
“Not so much” he replied in a serious tone “We’ve been good and together and… happy this last years, haven’t we?”  
“Yes” she whispered “You’re right, we’ve never been so…” but the right words just wouldn’t come and Anne stayed there silent and speechless, but Athos understood what she wanted to say and leaned on her, kissing her. A fast, goodbye kiss and yet a loving, passionate kiss. In a second her hands were winding around his neck and her body was pressed to his. Neither of them wanted to stop that kiss and yet they had to.   
“I have to go to Porthos now, I’ll let you know…” he whispered before disappearing.

He left and Anne watched her engagement ring for a while smiling.


	14. Yes

“Anne…” Athos whispered in a sad tone entering their room “Anne…”  
“You’re back so early, how was it?” she asked with a sad tone and in that moment Athos felt all her pain and he felt the urge to hug her, to reassure her, to tell her that their friends weren’t them and that she shouldn’t have felt so much invested, he wanted to tell her that he would have fixed everything but Anne’s expression almost scared him, her toughness was… impressive and he was not so used to see her like that, not anymore. During those last four years he had almost forgotten that Anne’s temper could be so… He wanted to come to her, to grab her arm and hug her and yet he felt Anne was dealing with an internal conflicts and he needed to do that on her own.

So he did the only thing he could do in that moment, he told her about his meeting with Porthos “He’s… mad, like really mad” he paused for some seconds before continuing “And he needs time”  
But that answer upset Anne more than he had expected, more than he could have ever imagined and he was forced to take a step back as she was coming closer, with a furious expression and a tough tone “No, he doesn’t need time, Athos. She’s the same person HE married, the fact that SHE didn’t tell him something awful about her past is nothing, it means nothing, it…”  
“Not to him”  
“Athos…”  
“Don’t get mad” he whispered caressing her arms for some seconds and then continued “I understand but he needs time, he…”  
But Anne separated from him abruptly “I’m not having this conversation” she whispered leaving the room, hurt and annoyed.

Days and weeks went by but the situation didn’t improved, Elodie was staying at Anne’s and Athos’s place, since she had nowhere else to go and Porthos still refused to talk to her. Their child was told that Porthos had too much to work to do and therefore her mom and herself were both staying at Anne’s and Athos’s place, but to be honest, Marie Cezette wasn’t buying any part of it.  
There was an increasing tension also between Athos and his wife, since both of them tended to stand on their respective friends, or at least that was what Anne thought. In reality even if Athos was trying so hard, but with no success, to bind a bridge between the two of them, at the same time he thought that Porthos needed time to deal with all the rage and disappointment he was feeling, so he decided to let him his spaces, which she interpreted as being on his side, which opened a old wound between them. 

Anne on her side, was trying not to take it personally but at the same time she couldn’t help it.  
She knew that Athos was trying to do his best, she knew he was and she knew that she was too tough, too emotional, too involved. She knew that, but a part of her had been hurt once again the moment he had taken his friend’s side, a part of her was still suffering each time he questioned her or he… But she knew she should have faith in him, the fact is that he she didn’t know if he was worth it.

At some point Constance noticed her mind was mainly absent and faced her “Anne…? Are you listening?”  
“I… No, I’m sorry”  
“Is… something else going on?”  
“No” Anne replied with a secure tone, a tone that did not manage to convince her friend, so Constance, after some seconds, asked hesitantly “Are you… mad at him?”  
“Who?”  
“Your husband”  
“No”  
“But you’re…disappointed in him. He… how he behaved… disappointed you”  
“What do you want to hear?”  
“Anne…”  
“Of course! Of course he should threat all this situation better, he…”  
“Oh shut up!”  
“Excuse me?”  
“Shut up” Constance repeated “You are not the only victim in here. He tried to kill you, yes and he didn’t believe you, yes, but… he was hurt, too. You, his love, the woman for whom he had fought against the common sense, the woman for which he had… completely lost his mind, the woman for whom he would have gladly given up everything, everything he was and everything he had, that same woman had lied about everything and kill his brother, he…”  
“I will not go back there and I don’t own you an explanation anyway” Anne replied irritated.  
“Anne… he’s a good man, go to him”  
“No”  
“Go to him, he loves you and you love him, you know that, so don’t act like an idiot and make up”  
“You own him a chance, you know you do”  
“I always give him a chance!”  
“So go to him, you are stronger united you know that, and if we want to have a chance to help Elodie and Porthos, too… you need to forgive Athos, first… Ok?”  
She reflexed about that for a while and eventually she had to agree with her “I’ll go to talk to him” she whispered, smiling at that weird friend of hers, a woman she had tried to kill once, a woman whose marriage and life were apparently so perfect to be annoying but that had an incredible ability to listen and to be a good friend, if needed. Anne smiled at her and left, with the intention of reaching the Garrison, but once she reached her husband’s Office, his loud voice stopped her.

“Really mate?” Athos exclaimed  
“What? She’s a liar! She lied about everything, you of all people should understand that”  
“Don’t behave like that! You’re not me! You’re not a stupid spoiled Comte! You are better than that! You know what it means to be born poor and be willing to do everything to survive, you…”  
“And that’s exactly why YOU should understand HER”  
“That’s exactly why I can’t, because I would have understood, if only she had had the courage to tell me!” Porthos screamed and for a second Anne feared Athos would have agreed with him, but he surprised her “What she did, who she had been doesn’t change anything, it doesn’t change who she is. She’s still your wife”  
“She’s not! Not anymore! Not now that…”  
“She’s still Elodie, no matter what” Athos interrupted him with a strength and determination that surprised Anne but after some seconds Porthos replied “I’ll never trust her again. How could I ever believe a single word she says?”  
“Because you love her! And your love deserves a second chance, you have to try, you can’t just give up, you two are meant to be together and deep down you know that. She makes you happy and you have a child, don’t wasted all of this because of… what? Your pride?”  
And Porthos couldn’t reply to that so he simply looked away, doubtful and Athos continued in a calmer tone “I don’t think she was hiding those things from you, she… she wanted to hide those things from herself. She wanted to… forget”  
“Forget? Why do you think that?” Porthos asked confused “How do you…?”  
“Because of Anne” Athos replied calmly “Anne?” Porthos repeated and then he understood “Of course, I don’t know why I didn’t thought about this before. She and Anne… they knew each other, before…”  
“Yes” Athos whispered and only after a short pause he continued “I have no idea of what Sarazin did to your wife, but I know what he did to mine. She… managed to talk to me about Thomas, about her childhood and her time at the service of the Cardinal but what she did during the time she had spent working for Sarazin… she tremble even if she has to think about it, even if…, what I mean is that you should talk to her”  
“To Anne?” Porthos asked confused  
“To Elodie but to Anne too, if you need it”

Anne smiled and left, feeling suddenly overwhelmed and…. stupid. How had she forgotten that he…he KNEW her, that he LOVED her. How? And above all, that he was a good person, a person she could trust, a person with whom she had built a family and a person she was in love with, madly in love with.

That same night, when they were both in bed and ready to sleep, she turned just to meet his eyes and, unexpectedly, she hugged him.  
“You know I love you, don’t you?” she whispered with a gentle tone. A tone she hadn’t used in a while and Athos welcomed that tone and that kid gesture and hugged her too before replying “And you always will?”  
In that moment Anne smiled and started caressing his chest “I’m still bound to you and I plan to be so for a long time”  
Athos smiled for a second before becoming serious once again “I’m sorry if what happened caused… tension, if you believed I…”  
“Shh…” Anne whispered stopping him by putting a finger on his lips “I was the idiot, not you, I’m the one who’s sorry”  
“Anne…” he whispered kissing her hand and she started laughing nervously “Appreciate the fact that I’m letting you win, please”  
“I love you…” he replied smiling and she leaned on him kissing him, gently. At first. After that their mouths met in a bruising, passionate, demanding kiss. They had missed each other, really missed each other and in that moment both of them knew that and in a second Athos buried his hands in her hair. Then she took control of it and Athos felt finally serene for the first time in weeks.

The next morning Anne woke up early and started caressing her husband’s hair, distractedly but sweetly, then she leaned on him and kissed his forehead whispering “I’m a complete idiot” and he moved slightly but he didn’t wake up. He looks so much like a boy, she thought, like my boy, my Comte, my husband, my love. “I’m so lucky to have you” she whispered honest to his ears “So lucky” and in that moment, unexpectedly he replied, speaking in a sleepy tone “I am the lucky one” Anne smiled again, hugging him tight before going back to sleep.

She woke up only some hours later, again, this time without finding Athos by her side, so she put something on and went to look for him, finding her husband in the kitchen, where he was preparing breakfast.

He heard her immediately and turn in her direction “Good morning”  
“Good morning lucky one” she whispered in return smiling “Have I overslept?”  
“Yes”  
“The girls?”  
“At the palace, with Constance”  
“Elodie?”  
“At the market”  
“Are you saying we are… alone?” Anne whispered biting her lips as she was taking a step closer  
“You may say so” he replied amused  
“Interesting” she replied kindly taking another step closer “Very interesting” she continued reaching for his lips, kissing him gently, their mouths smacked together in an passionate instant and she laughed slightly, so happy to be with him in that moment. Only some seconds later she separated from his lips and started kissing his neck “I’ve… I’ve always wanted you…us, always, you know that…”  
He nodded happy “And you… you make me the happiest bastard in the universe, you know that…” Athos whispered in reply and hearing those words forced her to separate from him once again. She looked at her husband with a obscene look before whispering “Ok, let’s make you happy” and saying so she knelt before him and she started working the laces of his breeches free.

In that moment someone knocked at the door heavily and impatiently and Anne stood up annoyed  
“Whoever it is, send him away. Or kill him, I’m joking, Athos” she whispered irritated, which cased him to laugh amused “I bet you’re not, a little patience, my love”  
“I’ve never been patient” Anne replied nervous and he left a kiss on his forehead before reaching the main door.

“Porthos, how… unexpected” he whispered almost in a state of shock, looking at his friend  
“Is she…?” the other asked hesitantly and looking away  
“No” Athos said shaking his head “She’s out. But you can wait for her, here if you wish to”  
“I’m not here for her, I’m here for your wife” Porthos replied with a severe tone and Athos realized it was better not to discuss with him “Ok. Come in”  
“I…I’m sorry I’ve interrupted you” Porthos apologised entering the house  
“Oh, no, don’t worry, you didn’t interrupt anything, don’t worry” Anne replied forcing a smile  
“I doubt that” he said ironically, looking at the two of them “Athos, maybe you should knot the laces of your breeches, first…”  
“I… I have…” he said embarrassed and Anne almost laughed heavily in that moment “To go. You have to go, right?” she said, encouraging him to leave but he didn’t seem to understand that “Go?” Athos asked perplexed “Yeah, go in the girls’s room. Now” she whispered gently to her slow husband.“Ok…” he replied annoyed disappearing and Anne smiled for a second amused from her husbands’s stubbornness. But after a moment she forced herself to turn her attention towards their common friend, their common friend, who was staying there with lost eyes and a confused expression “Have a sit” she whispered gently indicating the couch in the living-room and he obeyed silently, trying to avoid her judgemental gaze “I… I don’t really know what I’m doing here, Anne…” he whispered hesitantly, with deep breaths.

But she had understood everything, without a word from him “Do you want answers? Answers about your wife? Her past?”  
“Yes” he replied looking away  
“Ok” Anne answered taking big breaths “What you have to understand is that we didn’t have a choice, we never had a choice, neither of us”  
“What do you mean?” he asked confused and partly scared, not sure if he really wanted to know the answer to that question.  
Anne hesitated for some seconds before finding the strength to speak “No-one, no girl surely works for Sarazin because she wants to” she said bitterly after that she took a short pause, trying so hard to calm herself down, but she couldn’t “He’s a monster, he looks for lost, hungry, desperate girls and… helps them. At first. He gives them a roof and food and clothes and then he… makes them his property. He sells them, as servants, as prostitute, as… toys for the kind of men that…, he abuses them in every possible way, physically, mentally and… if you are lucky enough and your wife and I have been, he he… teaches you how to… lie and steal and cheat and… kill. Once you are his, you can’t ever leave because you have to repay him for all those beautiful things he had done for you”  
“But you two… escaped him” Porthos whispered with a trembling voice  
“The Cardinal found me but I have no idea how she escaped that”  
“The Cardinal was your… benefactor”  
“You may so, he saved me or sort of…”  
“I’m…I’m an idiot, am I not?” Porthos acknowledged after some moments.  
Anne smiled silently, not sure how to handle the situation and in that exact moment Elodie returned from the market. Porthos stared at her for some seconds, speechless and ashamed and she returned a disgusted expression, before passing near to him and moving to the first room she found. Porthos lowered his eyes, but Anne still encouraged him to go “Porthos… go. She’s gone in my room. Go after her”  
“I…”  
“Go, tell her you’re sorry, tell her you made a mistake but you are sorry and willing to be there for her in the future, to try again, tell her… you want to give her a chance. A real, proper chance”  
“I…”  
“Less talking, more acting! Go!” she encouraged him one last time and he obeyed nodding.

Anne stood there for some seconds, still slightly upset from the memories of her traumatic past, then suddenly she heard a noice and turned meeting her husband’s worried eyes. He seemed so young to her in that moment, so uncomfortable in that situation, and yet, at the same time, so sweet.

“Oliver…” she whispered smiling “Come here…” and he obeyed sitting next to her, approaching her slowly, starting caressing her cheek in a delicate, tender gesture “Are you… ok?” he asked hesitantly, scared of what the answer might have been. But there was nothing to be afraid of and Anne smiled before answering “Yes” and after that she leaned on him, hugging his pelvis with closed eyes “And you?” she whispered gently “I’m ok, if you are” he replied kissing her forehead, hugging her too in a delicate perfect instance. They stayed like that for a while and Anne cursed herself another time for her still existing trust issues, she cursed herself for not being able to trust and love him completely, not always at least. She cursed herself and in that moment she decided to tell Athos something she wanted to tell him even the previous day.

“I must confess something to you” she whispered opening her eyes and separating from him  
“Mmm… Should I be worried?” he asked almost amused “No” she replied laughing and shacking her head “I’ve… I’ve heard what you said yesterday”  
“Yesterday?” Athos replied confused  
“Yesterday. When you argued with Porthos, in your Office…”  
“With Porthos? What…?”  
“Shut up, Ollie, let me finish!” she said exasperated and he smiled guilty, incapable of saying a further word. And then she continued “Yes, I was there and… I have an answer for you”  
“An answer?”  
“An answer to something you asked me four years ago” she paused but he didn’t understand, so she had to went on “The answer… is yes”  
“Answer to what?”  
“Yes” Anne replied smiling kindly, staring at him in the eyes “Only yes”  
“Yes…” Athos replied confused “Yes” she repeated convinced and Athos stared at her for a while, then, eventually, he understood “Oh my God” he whispered shocked “Oh my God” he repeated “We… we are getting married”  
“We have been married for 16 years by now but yes, we are getting married, if you still want to” Anne replied with a small shy smile and in a moment Athos reached her lips, drawing into her and she smiled against his lips, pulling him closer in a perfect moment of peace.

After a while Athos separated from her “I’ve never stopped wanting it. Or you. Or us. You should know it by now” Anne nodded and stayed silent and only after some seconds started started caressing his cheeks and in a moment he kissed her hand “Oh God I would have you right now, right here, on this couch until you beg for mercy twice, if only our friends weren’t trying to save their marriage in the next room…” he whispered almost annoyed “I never beg for mercy, you do” she said, turning the situation and pushing him against the couch “Twice” she continued leaving a mould kiss on his stomach.

Athos breathed in and out a couple of times trying to calm down but it didn’t work “Anne…”  
“You know what, Ollie? Who cares I can’t resist!” she exclaimed standing up and leading him around their house  
“Anne…” Athos asked hesitantly as she was pushing him in a room. Not theirs, unfortunately that was not available “In the guest-room, really?” he asked amused looking at Anne’s longing eyes. Her wicked, horny expression and her witty gaze made Athos smile, genuinely. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever met, he was sure about that at least. Once the door was locked and Athos pushed against the wall, whispered “We have to use the guest room, since ours is not free at the moment”  
“You can’t be serious” he replied as she was undressing him, insatiable “Try to stop me”  
“Anne…” he whispered one last time before Anne managed to get rid of his breeches, and before she finally managed to…make him shut up.

A couple of hours later Anne was hugging her husband silently, with closed eyes, trying to enjoy the moment and only after a while she touched his chin and whispered “We should go back and check on Porthos and Elodie, now”  
“What?” he exclaimed with a fake offended tone “I’ve just given you the best orgasm of your life and the first thing you say is an other man’s name?” and hearing that made Anne laughed slightly, then she hit him, repeatedly “You, presumptuous idiot!” and in response to that he simply kept looking at her smiling with his stupid enthusiastic smile, which caused Anne to smile too, even if she tried to hide that “What, exactly, makes you think that THAT was the best orgasm of my life?” she whispered standing up slowly, looking for her clothes. Athos has done a mess of that poor room, she thought, feeling suddenly a strange sense of happiness. In that same moment Athos’s arms stopped her, dragging her back to him “Don’t you dare to lie to me again” he whispered to her ears in a funny tone “You promised that, as I had and you know I’m the best you’ve ever had” she smiled silently for some seconds, appreciating the feeling of his skin against hers and after that she decided to torture him for a while “Mmm… let me think about that for a while…Let me consider, probably the best was…” but he didn’t let her finish, pushing her to the bed and pulling himself above her “Fine, let’s refresh your memory. Again” he said as he started kissing her stomach, again, and in that moment Anne started laughing hysterically.

Another couple of hours later both Anne and Athos had managed, not without difficulties, to dress up and leave their guest room “They are gone” Anne whispered after having searched for them  
“They made up, probably” Athos replied and Anne nodded in return. After that she whispered, still hesitant “Do you think… Do you think they heard us?”  
“I think the whole Paris heard YOU” Athos said with an insolent smirk, which caused Anne to hit him, again “Me… What about YOU?”  
“I’m not the loud one, my love” he replied with an tone Anne found irritating  
“Oh yes, you’re always so calm, my dear, you…” she started but he didn’t let her finish, again, giving her a small kiss, a kiss she accepted gladly, calming herself down. A moment after she finally separated from him “Ok, now I should go to pick the girls up or Constance will hate me more than she already does”  
“She doesn’t hate you”  
“Trust me she does, have you any idea of what our girls, her daughter and Marie Cezette can do when they are together for a long time?”  
“They are children” Athos replied patiently  
“They are furious children” Anne corrected him “They call themselves the four Musker-ladies” she said smiling silently, secretly proud of her little pests and then she realised her husband was sharing her same expression “I’m aware” he whispered “Their daddies are all really proud”  
“Their mommies too” Anne replied “But they are difficult to handle”  
“I…I…”  
“You have to go, I know. I’ll marry the Captain of the King’s Musketeers, I know that”  
“And I’m marrying the most beautiful, capable, strong, intelligent, spy that…”  
“That sounds good” Anne whispered amused taking a step closer “It’s really good” Athos replied staring at her in the eyes “Really, really good” he continued leaving a small kiss on her forehead.

40 minutes later Anne had arrived at the palace, where she immediately saw her girls playing with Marie Cezette and Amélie, Constance’s daughter. She stared at them for a while, they seemed so wild, careless and… free.

“Anne!” a voice called her and she turned meeting Elodie’s and Constance’s eyes  
“Here you are!” Anne exclaimed in Elodie’s direction “I guess you and your husband made up” she continued satisfied after some seconds. Elodie smiled for a moment before replying “He said he’d exaggerated and he asked me to come back home, he said… we can try again, slowly, and he went on duty”  
“Mmm” Anne replied, thinking about what was best to say “He understood his mistake and he’s willing to try again, that’s the important thing”  
Elodie smirked for some seconds before continuing “I’ve just one question”  
“Please don’t” Anne said, trying to stop her, without success.  
“How is it possible that YOU and YOUR husband are always so horny? I mean you can’t keep the clothes on for two days in a row”  
“What do you mean?” Constance asked confused  
“Oh you need to hear this, dearie! Once Porthos and I had finished speaking, we heard some… noises? Or better say moaning? And then we realised our hosts weren’t to be found in their own home, and the guest room was locked, so…”  
“Really? You’re shameless Anne!” Constance exclaimed faking a shocked expression and in that moment Anne smiled exasperated “Oh yes I am so shameless, I admit that but I won’t apologize just because my sex life is better than yours”  
“My sex life is just fine” Constance replied irritated but Anne smirked satisfied before answering “I doubt that, from what I remember D’Artagnan is not so talented, you should take a lover”  
“Anne!” the other two cried simultaneously and Anne laughed, finding that situation extremely funny “I was joking, relax. Maybe” then she hesitated for some seconds before continuing “Or maybe not”  
Constance rolled her eyes nervous before replying “Do you realise that you were supposed to pick up your daughters hours ago??? I swear, if you leave them here for so long, again, I’ll kill you”  
“Oh relax darling, you really should take a lover…” Anne said eying at her but before Constance could have had the time to reply Jamie noticed her presence “Mom!” and in a second her daughters run to her excited and Anne bowed to hug them both “My babies”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See you next time with the last chapter


	15. Charlotte

Later that day, just after dinner and when his daughters were both already asleep, Athos decided it was about time to have a talk with Anne about the renewal of their wedding votes, but her soon-to-be again wife seemed too focused on the book she was reading to even notice his puppy face staring at her, so he decided to put his hands around her hip and after that he lifted her night-gown only to leave small, sweet, moulded kisses on her stomach. 

The warmth of his breath against her stomach forced Anne to give up reading and she started laughing amused and… happy. After that she started caressing his head distractedly “What it is, uhm?” she whispered softly and he lifted his head up, meeting her wondering eyes.  
She is so beautiful, he thought, so incredibly beautiful, always.  
She was so beautiful that he almost forgot what he wanted to say, lost in her green beautiful eyes “Athos…?” she asked hesitantly and he took some further seconds to admire her in silence before daring to speak again “When do you want to get married?” he asked leaving another kiss on her.

Anne smiled lowering her eyes before replying “Re-married, you mean. Remarried”  
“Yes, remarried” he repeated laughing softly “Re-married” he repeated once again. 

After that he simply stared at her for a while, expecting a serious answer and only some seconds after she finally managed to respond to him “You already have a suggestion, I guess…”  
Athos nodded gently “What about… the day after tomorrow?” he asked excited and in a moment Anne’s faced turned from amused to shocked “What? Are you out of your mind?” she cried hitting his shoulder “Are you…” but Athos interrupted her, kissing her breast “I can’t wait an other day to be married to you, my love”  
“You’re married to me” Anne replied pulling him closer “You are. You’ve been for 16 years now”  
“I know” he whispered with growing excitement “I know but I’m… I feel… excited, Anne. I feel so excited. You… us, the girls…”  
“I know. I know…” she replied with a sweet and gente smile, leading his forehead to hers, then, unexpectedly, she continued “Let’s do it… next month. You can wait a month, or two”  
“I… can. Of course I can. A month, or two. But not too much…” Athos replied staring at her with his stupid puppy face “Don’t make me wait too much, please” he begged caressing her cheek gently and distractedly “Good” she replied smiling “Not too much I promise” 

She hesitated some further seconds before continuing “But… I have some requests. Requests that are not negotiable” she clarified with a severe tone “First of all, none of YOUR friends will accompany ME at the altar”  
Athos looked at her confused for a while before managing to reply to that “Ok…” he started hesitantly “But…it’s supposed to be a man, it’s tradition, so… who are you asking to…?”  
“Tradition?” she exclaimed exasperated laughing slightly “Really? My dear Comte, how traditional is it to marry the same person twice?”  
“Anne…” he started but she had no intention of letting him finish “It won’t be a men, anyway” she said interrupting him “It will be my niece Elizabeth, she’s my family. The only family I have besides you and the girls so I want it to be her” she said calmly but Athos seemed still very much confused “A lady?” he whispered still doubtful  
“Yes a lady” she replied almost amused. And she truly was, amused. It was amusing and odd, on one hand they weren’t who they used to be anymore and they hadn’t been in a long while, and yet, on the other hand, from time to time, the little irritating spoiled nobleman that was in him still showed up.  
“A lady who…hates me, still” he pointed out  
“She’s not exactly your greatest fan” Anne whispered agreeing with him “But she loves me and she loves our daughters. I’m sure in time she’ll love you too”  
“It’s been four years” Athos remarked annoyed “Four years…”  
“In time I said, have faith, please!” she exclaimed laughing hard and he came closer to her, smiling softly with the clear intention of kissing her but she stopped him, gently “I’m not finished, Athos” she warned him “You, you…you’ll bring me to an honeymoon”  
“Honeymoon?” he asked perplexed and she smiled back, feeling a strange urge to pull him closer and kiss him but she she needed to go on speaking “Yes, you didn’t brought me to an honeymoon the first time, this time I demand it”  
“An honeymoon? As if we barley knew each other?” Athos asked without understanding  
“No” Anne whispered shaking her head “An honeymoon…an honeymoon so you can take care of me properly for a time, no duty, no work, no children, only us. Say you wouldn’t like it” she whispered with small hopeful eyes and Athos couldn’t say no to her “Honeymoon” he replied, giving her what she wanted “Honeymoon” Anne replied satisfied.  
After some seconds he held her tight, even too tight “Where?” he whispered to her ear “Where do you…?” and Anne bit her lips for a while before answering “Venice…”  
Athos smirked amused “So…so I’ll have to bring you to some Masquerades, I guess…” Athos whispered leaving small kisses on her neck and Anne started shaking and between moaning she replied “That… That wouldn’t be bad at all”

Two months later Anne was with Elodie and Elizabeth in the back shop of her favourite tailor, trying her bride-dress on. After a while Elizabeth stated, with her irritated and sarcastic tone “You’re wearing blue, really? For your wedding?”  
“It’s not actually a wedding, remember that” Elodie remarked, clearly mocking the future bride  
“Oh, com’on Elodie, don’t start that…” Anne replied with an almost offended look  
“Ok…ok” the woman replied “Let’s talk about this blue then…”  
“Yeah…?” Anne asked uninterested hoping that her friends would have dropped the subject, unfortunately they had no intention to do so and Elizabeth smiled satisfied “You…YOU choose blue…Blue like forget me nots”  
“Maybe…“ Anne whispered looking away with a strange smile on her lips  
“You totally did it for him! And I was the romantic one between the two of us” Elodie exclaimed laughing and Elizabeth laughed too, finding that whole situation hilarious, which caused Anne to get mad at them “Shut up, both of you” but they didn’t stop so she called for her niece help “Elizabeth, help me with this dress please, something must be definitively wrong”  
The girl reached her and started working her laces “Aunt… Are you really sure you want to…?”  
and Anne nodded “I…I always wanted to…him. I always wanted him, you know that”  
“I know” Bess replied annoyed “But I really hope I won’t be the one picking up the pieces of you, once this story is over”  
And in that moment Anne smiled softly, slightly amused “It’s been four years, Bess, don’t you think it is about time to give him a shot? Plus, it won’t be over this time, I know that”  
“Give him a shot, you say? That would be interesting. To shoot him I mean” the girl replied in an almost serious tone  
“Bess!” Anne exclaimed shocked  
“I know, I know” the girl replied “He’s your husband, the father of your children, the love of your life etc etc”  
“No, Bess what I mean is that…” Anne started but stopped soon after, reflecting upon the right words to say and in the end she continued “What I mean is that, if anyone should kill him, that should be me”  
Bess smiled rolling her eyes and after that she continued “Still, why haven’t you chosen a more…traditional dress? I mean…”  
“I can’t wear white, Bess, there is nothing virginal left in me! I’m…” but Anne stopped herself before saying something that might have been compromising. Sadly for her, her friend Elodie had noticed her sudden change of heart “You are…?” the woman asked amused “You are…” she repeated and Anne turned in her direction withering at her friend “Nothing, Elodie”  
After that she spoke to her niece, trying to drop the subject “Elizabeth… can you call the tailor please? This dress is clearly too tight, they must have made a mistake when they took the measures” she said trying, without success, to squeeze her growing breast, in that moment Elizabeth left the room reassuring her “Of course, I go to call him now, we’ll be back soon, don’t worry about it”

The situation seemed calm again but after some seconds Elodie came closer, with a strange smirk on her face, then she whispered “A mistake… A mistake you say, Anne?” but her friend stayed silent, trying to ignore her. Unfortunately Elodie had no intention of letting that go “I…I was there, you know” she started “When they took your measures, Anne, I was there. They did not made a mistake”  
But Anne had still no intention of speaking so her friend felt forced to continue the conversation “And yet, your dress is too tight, your boobs…”  
“Ok, stop that…” the soon-to-be-again wife warned her but her friend simply smiled, genuinely surprised before continuing “Anne… Are you…?”  
“Nothing, really. Don’t make a big deal of that”  
“Anne, oh my God, are you really…?” Elodie continued with a huge smile  
“I said don’t make a big…” Anne started but after some seconds she felt the the urge to reach the next room, where she found a bucket. In a moment she was on her knees, puking her guts out and a moment later Elodie was next to her, holding Anne’s hair as she was vomiting heavily.  
After a while Anne stopped throwing up and she put the hands on her forehead, trying to calm herself down “Are you… ok?” Elodie whispered  
“Yes. I’m just… nervous. For the wedding” Anne replied touching her forehead  
“You’re not nervous for the ‘not real wedding’ I know that” Elodie replied winking at her and Anne closed her eyes for a moment before whispering once again “As I said… It’s nothing”  
“You’ll be better, in a months, a moth and an half maximum, you know that the morning sickn…” Elodie whispered cleaning her friend’s mouth as Anne clearly was trying to not to throw up again, but even in that moment her friend tried to deny the evidence “Elodie, that’s not…”  
“Yeah…” she whispered kindly “Does he know about it?” she asked tying her friend’s hair.

Anne didn’t reply for a while, preferring simply to breath in and out a couple of times before surrendering to the truth “Not yet”  
“I see…” Elodie whispered smirking at her friend, sitting next to her “You’re marrying him first…”  
and Anne smiled for a moment, before turning her smile into an annoyed smirk “Oh please, shut up. It’s not like I’m trapping him. I married him, years ago. This is just a…” and Anne stopped immediately putting her had before her mouth, but after some moments she continued “This is just… a stupid sentimental reply and…” but she stopped again, her expression changed suddenly and Elodie understood the situation “Do you need the bucket again, don’t you?” she said passing it to her friend and Anne nodded before puking again.

A couple of weeks later Anne, with new dress and a new elaborate hairstyle, with a tiny half pony-tail, was travelling in a carriage, with her niece by her side. Anne was more nervous than ever and Bess soon realised she was trembling. She. Her aunt. The fearless, brilliant, strong, ruthless and fierce woman she knew, now looked like a teenager dealing with the her first crush. It was almost annoying how he was able to change her like that and to… but in that moment Bess’s thoughts were interrupted from her aunt’s voice.

“This is stupid, Bess…” Anne whispered playing with her engagement ring and Bess smirked in her direction before replying “Probably”  
“This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever done in my entire life” Anne repeated looking outside and Bess, in return, rolled her eyes annoyed “You need to calm down, this is nothing you can’t handle”  
“I want to be happy” Anne said looking away “I want to… feel hope. Is that wrong?”  
“No” Bess whispered shacking her head “No, but YOU don’t need HIM to be happy, you were already happy before him”  
“I know” Anne replied nodding “But I’m happier, with him. I love him, Bess. He makes me… what I mean is that…”  
“Ok, ok… You can stop now, you’re blushing like an embarrassed child” Bess replied laughing, genuinely amused and Anne smiled embarrassed biting her lips “I…” and so her niece, probably for the first time ever, decided to give her aunt’s marriage some credit “Aunt… I know he loves you. And you love him. I’ll be more… let’s say… gente, with him. For you. And for the girls, I promise”

Hearing those words warmed Anne’s heart and her eyes widened incredibly “Are you serious?” she asked surprised, almost shocked from that change of heart and so she hugged the girl, unexpectedly. Bess responded to that hug and only after a while she separated from her “It’s my wedding gift, I want you to be happy” and hearing those words caused Anne to smirk “Oh no, I was hoping for some fancy Spanish jewellery or at least some Italian paintings, otherwise why have I sent you travelling around Europe this last two years?” and Bess smiled for the last time as the carriage stopped “Let’s go now, someone here needs to get married” the girl exclaimed but Anne grabbed her arm abruptly “Bess… I want you to be happy too” 

Bess hesitated for some seconds staring at Anne unsure on how to proceed but in the end, eventually she admitted the truth “You… You don’t need to worry about me, Aunt. I am… I am in love and happy. So very happy, I’ve never been happier, I swear”  
“You are?” Anne asked doubtful and after a moment she realised Bess wasn’t lying and her expression changed from doubtful to excited “Any chance to have another wedding soon?”  
At the word wedding Bess lowered her eyes, then with an almost sad tone she replied “No, it will never happen, never” and Anne felt suddenly guilty for even introducing the subject “I’m… sorry, baby, I am. What’s the matter? Is he married?”  
In that moment Elizabeth smiled pleased before telling what she had always intended “Who says is it a he?”  
Anne look at her speechless, unable to say a single word or to express a single emotion “Wow…”  
“Spare me that shocked expressions. As I said you are the one who needs to get married, not me” the girl replied, fierce as always but her aunt noticed immediately that with that tone she was hiding her disappointment and Anne couldn’t bare that, so, without thinking, she grabbed her arm  
“Bess” she whispered grabbing “I’m sorry for my reaction, truly, I’m not shocked, I’m just… surprised and… worried, it won’t be an easy life, but I love you all the same”  
“Thank you, my father hasn’t been so…” Bess started but her voice broke and she lowered her eyes trying not to cry, in a moment Anne understood what was going on almost immediately felt the urge to reassure her “Your father… your father is a stupid and hypocrite” Anne whispered angrily and truly  
“He says… he…”  
“There is nothing wrong in who you are, or in who you love, I hope you know that, baby”  
“I…”  
“We can’t chose who we love, Elizabeth. Love…love is a remarkable emotion, it’s… impervious to logic and… beautiful. It’s beautiful… what I mean is that we… we cannot prevent us from loving who we really love, we can’t, no matter how hard we try to rationalise it, no matter how wrong it seems, trust me, I’m marrying the man who tried to hang me”  
“Oliver is more that, we both know that” Bess whispered smiling gently and Anne opened her mouth shocked “What do I hear now? Are you… appreciating him, really?”  
“Shut up”  
“You… like him, at last” Anne recognised surprised “I would have never imagined that a day would…”  
“No, let’s be clear” Bess interrupted her “I don’t… like him, but if you managed to forgave him, I can do the same, or try at least… I’m giving him a chance, as I promised you. He’s a good father to the girls and a good husband to you, or sort of. He… respects you, and your opinions”  
“I bet he does” Anne replied  
“And the way he looks at you…” Bess continued kindly  
“I know… I know” Anne whispered smiling “But you’ll always find a home in me, you know that right? We’ll always be family”  
“Always” Bess repeated touching Anne’s hand “But now we should really go”  
“Wait, just one last thing” Anne called grabbing Bess’s arm “Will I ever get to know her? The girl you love. Whoever she is…” and Bess hesitated for some seconds before replying “You will”

The Church was the same of their first wedding, the same old, dilapidated structure, those same ancient and ruined frescos, the aisle was still impregnated with an sweet aromatic incense and yet it seemed so different, so new, so…beautiful and… appropriate. 

Anne smiled looking at that church. Yes, the church was the same but they… they surely were not the same persons they used to, not that she minded or regretted that. On the contrary, she… she was happy about that, of them, of what they had become, of what they had built together, of their relationship, their little family. 

The Church was the same but everything was different. 

She was not alone or desperate anymore, she had…everything. Everything she had ever wanted.  
A family, good friends, and him. She had him and once she met her new-old husband’s eyes, Anne couldn’t help but grinning in his direction, genuinely happy and nothing else mattered.  
He’s beautiful in his uniform, she thought, and he’s actually waiting for me, smiling softly, with our daughters next to him. This is the person I chose, the person I kept choosing for all these years, the person I love, my partner, my husband, the father of my children, the love of my life. 

This is a small wedding, a soldiers wedding, quick and simple, she thought, but at the same time perfect as it is. This isn’t the marriage of a Comte, or a Baron, or a Duke but Anne’s never been more… happy, more… overwhelmed, more excited. Because she has him, and their children and she had felt so incredibly lucky. 

On his side Athos almost lost a beat seeing her entering that church. 

She was perfect, and beautiful. She always had been but that day her green eyes had a… light into them, she seemed so… different. He had never seen her like that and a small part of him wished he was responsible for that. Anne was so beautiful, so incredibly beautiful and he so was so lost in her that he barely heard the priest asking “Who gives this woman to be married to this man?” and a proud Bess replying “Me” 

The priest looked at the girl shocked for some seconds but continued without arguing, not that the spouses seemed to care about that, or about anything else. The couple seemed incredibly absorbed in each other, so drawn to each other that they could barely pay attention to the presence of the others.

The church was the same, and so were the words but when the priest ask if someone had any objection Anne had to fight the urge to laugh at him, as if it was even possible to object to that ceremony, two persons that marry each other for the second time, with already two daughters and the… but her thoughts were interrupted once they priest allowed them to kiss. Anne smiled, Athos smiled too and they kissed, oh yes they kissed, smiling again each other’s lips and it became soon pretty obvious to everyone that that was not their first kiss, not that they had any doubt.

Once the ceremony was over they went outside, holding each other’s hands tightly. 

“Was any of that in any way legal?” Anne asked laughing looking at him in the eyes  
“I don’t care” Athos said kissing her once again “I would die without you” he whispered and after that he reflected for some seconds before continuing with a more serious tone “I… died without you”  
Anne smiled for some seconds before caressing his cheek gently “Try not to choke or kill me this time, then. If you wish to separate just ask for divorce, please”  
In that moment Athos smirked “Oh silly one, we are catholics, there is no divorce for us”  
“Ask for an annulment, then” his new-old-only wife whispered staring at him with a challenging gaze and he replied kindly “I…I would never do that, my love, I won’t separate from you again. Our first marriage lasted until death did us apart, this one it will last forever, Madame d’Athos”  
“Oh, please don’t” Anne replied with an annoyed smirk “Why not?” Athos asked amused, appreciating the moment, seeing her this annoyed was always so incredibly funny.  
Her expression changed and her eyes, full of rage, were even more beautiful than usual.  
Her voice became resolute and higher than what he was used to hear “I’m NOT Constance” she said “I’m keeping MY name”  
“Your name, uhm? Which one, precisely?” he asked trying so hard to remain serious and in return she smiled softly before hitting him “Anne, Anne de Breuil, or Milady, Milady de Winter, whatever but you won’t call ME Madame d’Athos”  
“I love you” he whispered seriously kissing her forehead  
“I know” she replied hugging him and in that moment their daughters reached them breaking themselves into that hug, demanding attention.

Some hours later they were laying in bed, Athos caressing her wife’s back, gently and kindly, his fingers tracing around her “I love you so much, Anne de la Feré” he whispered hugging her from behind, leaving a moist kiss on her neck.  
“I love you too, Oliver” she whispered turning, meeting her husband’s eyes “I love you in a way I would have never… even imagined, or predicted. You changed my life, Ollie” she whispered before pausing for some seconds “Thank you” she continued after that, caressing his cheek.  
“For what?” he asked surprised from his wife’s tender tone and after that Anne breathed in and out for some seconds, trying to hold tears back “Thank you, Oliver. Thank you for giving me everything I ever wanted. A family, happiness, stability, a painful, difficult, devastating, life-changing, extraordinary love and…”  
“And…?”  
“Passion. And adventure. And a little danger, too, probably. I…I was so fortunate to meet you and even more fortunate in receiving a second and third chance with you. Fate had been kind to us”  
“You really think so?” Athos replied genuinely confused  
“Of course” she replied nodding “Some things happened to us, things that would have broken any couple, any relationship and they did. They broke us. For a while, but then… eventually I found my way back to you and you found your way back to me, and we have children and… Don’t you see it? We ARE lucky. Lucky to have each other” she said with an adorable smile and Athos smiled at her, overwhelmed and his expression slightly irritated her so she rolled her eyes before continuing “We are, I know we are, but now, please, please let’s stop with this trite romantic declaration”  
Athos nodded as he started caressing his wife’s hips, gently and caring, still surprised for how languid she was “Anne…” he started “Why are you so… kind, to me. Why are you so… sweet, so…?”  
“It’s nothing” Anne replied separating from him “It’s our wedding day… I mean night and I… I feel so… I don’t know. Inebriated? Overwhelmed? Overemotional? I just…”  
“It’s not like you at all” Athos whispered with a doubtful smirk, trying to pull her closer once again “Not that I mind…” he continued leaving a small kiss on her lips and in that moment Anne’s fingers reached her husbands face, cupping it gently “Don’t get used to it” she warned him  
“I won’t” he replied “But I’ll get used to see you with your wedding ring on again” he whispered kissing her hand  
“Ok, I think you can do that…” Anne whispered smiling  
“Really?” he asked excited and Anne laughed in return.  
In those rare moments her husband looked so… young, so young that she could barely remember that time had gone by.  
In those rare moments she felt young, fearless and invincible again “Really” she confirmed, hating herself for the tremor in her voice “And you will keep yours too, I won’t accept any excuse, I warn you”  
“You have nothing to fear, mon amour. I will keep it. I’m proud to be your husband… Again”  
Anne smiled for some seconds before turning her expression into a more serious one “I… I have to tell you something, Athos”  
He observed her for some seconds, surprised from her elusive gaze, without understanding what was worrying her so much, after everything they had been gone through…“Go ahed, you can tell me anything love, you know that” he encouraged her  
“I know….” she repeated nodding “I…just…” Anne started without managing to finish the sentence “I…”  
“What?” he asked kindly, with a kindness Anne felt… disarming, so she took a big, deep breath before whispering a simple, single name “Charlotte”  
“Charlotte” Athos repeated without understanding “Charlotte” she confirmed staring at him in the eyes “Charlotte” she said once again, pronouncing that name like it was a curse and at the same time a blessing “Charlotte…”  
“What does that mean?” he asked confused and she bit her lips for some seconds “Charlotte is…” Anne started but stopped once again after only some seconds after so Athos caressed her cheek “What’s wrong, uhm? Are you looking for baby names? Are you pregnant?” he asked with a tone he meant to be a mockery but he soon realised that his wife’s expression had changed. 

She lowered her eyes, clearly trying to avoid his gaze and she even looked…guilty so he stared at her for what it seemed an eternity without saying a single world, trying to understand what was going on with her and then a single sound came out of his mount “Anne…?” he asked hesitantly but that time Anne replied immediately “Oliver… As a matter of fact…I must stay that…yes. I am. Pregnant. I am pregnant”  
In that moment Athos stopped breathing, shocked “Wait, really?” he cried “Really” she confirmed placing his hand on her stomach “We’re having another baby”  
“Oh my God” he said with tears in his eyes but she stopped him, putting a finger on his lips “Shh Athos. We are having another baby but this has nothing to do with Charlotte”  
“Ok, so who is she?’” he asked still too much confused and overwhelmed  
“Me. Charlotte… this is my name, my real name if you want to say so, it’s the first name I remember at least, the name my mother gave me….I trust you, Ollie. I… this is trust, my real name is trust”  
“Charlotte” he repeated with a sweet tone “Charlotte” she confirmed with a shy smile and her husband caressed her cheek kindly “Thank you” and then he continued, hesitantly “Do you want…?”  
“No” she said shacking her head “No. Charlotte belongs to the past. She died a long time ago, Oliver. I’m Anne, I want to be Anne, I’ll always be Anne to you”  
“Anne” he repeated leaving a small kiss on her forehead “My Anne, my wife, my love. The mother of my children, the most beautiful, courageous and strong person I’ve ever met, the person to whom I’m bound for good, until death do us apart had not been enough for us”  
“Death has never been a huge obstacle for us, didn’t it? We are both prone to resurrection” Anne said smirking and their noises touched “You and I” he whispered “You and I” Anne repeated smiling “And our daughters” she added after some seconds “And our newborn” he replied caressing her stomach “Our newborn” he repeated once again. Only after that he paused for some seconds, clearly preoccupied “Tomorrow we should leave for our honeymoon… Do you think is it wise to travel while you’re pregnant? We could…”  
“I’m just pregnant, I’m not dying” Anne said laughing but Athos still seemed anxious “I fear it might be dangerous”  
“No, don’t fear it, I’ll be cautious” she whispered wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling herself above him “I’m so happy we are having another baby” Athos said pulling her face into his “I am too” Anne replied laughing “But if this time you’ve got me pregnant with a triplet I’ll kill you, I swear”  
“A triplet? That would be…” Athos started and she separated from him hitting him energetically “Don’t you ever THINK about that!”  
“…Amazing” he finished and Anne looked at him with wide eyes “I hate you!” she cried and Athos continued “But just one baby would be fine too…”  
“Just one? Do you realise that we have two children already?” Anne said kissing his husband’s shoulder  
“Of course I remember” Athos said meeting her lips “Two beautiful girls. And another baby on the way. Or two. Or three”  
“Stop it” Anne whispered between kisses “Either way, I think we’ll need a bigger house, Captain, if we continue with this rhythm we’ll have an half a dozen of children soon”  
“I hope so” Athos whispered caressing her back, pulling her closer  
“You do?” Anne replied moaning  
“A dozen of little Annes, with your beautiful curly hair” he whispered kissing her neck  
“A dozen of little Olivers, with your beautiful eyes” Anne replied moving her head, touching her forehead with his, feeling the warm of him on her body, then Athos replied “Oh no, love, they shall have your eyes. Your beautiful green eyes, ok?”  
“Ok” Anne agreed and they kissed, smiling against each other, happy, at peace at last.


End file.
